The First Time I Ever I Saw Your Face
by pinkyridz
Summary: Mandanan saga - book four. Following on from Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again.  Ben and Lilly's happy event is overshadowed by illness and tragedy
1. Chapter 1

**The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face**

Springtime in Tanger province was very much like spring on Earth.

Green, luscious grass replaced the snow and ice of winter. Pockets of vibrant colours scattered the meadows and misty mornings heralded the brighter, albeit shower filled, days.

It was time for planning, planting and re birth.

For Lilly and Ben Ashton, it was also a time of change.

Their lives would never be the same again; soon they would be a family.

Lilly's pregnancy hadn't been an easy one. Her morning sickness had persisted throughout the nine months, resulting in a loss of weight rather than a gain and there had been concern over the size of the baby. A trip to Earth and a visit with Janet Fraiser had put their minds at ease. The baby was fine and growing normally. She had diagnosed Lilly with Hyperemesis, a condition that resulted in constant nausea and weight loss. There was little they could do other than making sure she drank as much as she could to keep hydrated. There were no drugs she could safely take to help and it would resolve after the birth of the child.

Ben had stepped in and covered Lilly's shifts at the hospital as his wife had been too weak and unwell to continue with work. He knew she hated not working but due to her debilitating condition Lilly had spent the longs dark days either curled up in bed or resting on the sofa.

Her due date was now three weeks away and the time had come for Lilly to return home and prepare for the birth. On Mandana the grandmothers acted as midwifes to their daughters or daughter in laws if necessary. Lilly and Ben were going to move in with Sergi and Hanah for the last few weeks and Ben was looking forward to a relief of the stress and strain of trying to keeping everything going. Not that he'd ever complain, Lilly was his life and their unborn child their priority but, tending their small holding, working and training at the hospital while caring for his sick wife was taking a toll and he longed to rest and sleep. He was going to do one more day of training and then take some leave to prepare for the arrival.

They were going to leave Niall Wenton in charge of their animals and crops, something he was looking forward to doing and they were going to do nothing but concentrate on the new life that was on it's way.

Xxx

Lilly rested on the lounge chair on the balcony and waited for her husband to return home. The early afternoon sun was warming and the calling of young birds comforting. The countryside looked magnificent, the green lush meadows stretched for miles again, a welcome change from the heavy snow that had fallen over the last few months. It had been a particularly harsh winter this year, temperatures had barely risen above freezing and travelling had been difficult due to the icy conditions. The nights had been long but now, thankfully, things seemed much brighter, the sun was shining and life stirred once more.

It had been such a hard time for Lilly, a time of illness and worry but she could now see an end to it. This time next month, she and Ben would be proud parents with exciting years ahead of them.

They were as ready as they could be. This baby was lucky enough to have best of both worlds. Hanah and Mari had been busy knitting while Janet and Sam had been busy shopping. Denim joined handmade shawls and embroidered gowns, disposable diapers joined Mandanan towelling the two cultures collided and precedence was set.

Ben and Lilly's spare room, soon to become nursery, was full of everything they could possibly need. Woven moss basket, a hand carved crib, various mobiles and enough plush toys to last a child a lifetime. Everything was ready. They just needed the baby to complete the picture.

Lilly was lightly drowsing, enjoying the sun on her face when she heard the familiar sound of Hector trotting down the lane. Ben was home early, as promised. There was much to do before they left for Gowton, animals to tend to and last minute packing to complete. Lilly had been under strict orders not to lift a finger and, to be honest, she hadn't had the energy to do anything other than light cleaning and sorting of baby clothes again today. She was really tired now and very grateful to have her husband home.

"Hey Lillyput."

Lilly returned the smile and wave Ben gave her as he clambered out of the buggy.

"You ready kiddo?"

"Think so," Lilly replied, struggling upright.

"Stay put, Lil's. Won't be a sec."

Lilly grinned as she watched Ben practically sprint into the house. The past few months had been tough on her husband. He'd had to take most of the responsibility of the chores while continuing to work and she knew that her parents were more than happy to be able to take the load off his shoulders. She had been amazed that Ben had agreed to stay with them actually. Being from Earth, his views of parenthood were very different to the Mandanan and he had struggled to accept the involvement of others but, Lilly's mother was a very important part of her life, both as a child and now as she prepared for her own child. She had to finally put her foot down with Ben after a particularly bad storm had him struggling to cope with the animals, which had, in turn, caused so much stress that her blood pressure had risen to a dangerous level. She knew he hated to admit defeat but was grateful that he saw sense and allowed others in. Stubborn was Benjamin Ashton's middle name.

Lilly eased back down onto the lounge chair and closed her eyes again, her exhaustion pulling her back towards sleep. She was just beginning to drift off again when she felt familiar hands on her stomach.

"Hey," her sigh was one of contentment.

"Hi, Lilliput."

She opened her eyes and smiled when Ben knelt at her side and rested his ear against her stomach. She reached down and ran her fingers through his fine hair. "Bumba's been very active today," she stated softly.

Ben glanced up and smiled. "What about you? Have you been very active?"

Her husband's touch was very soothing and Lilly found it hard to keep her eyes open. "No, I've not been active," she mumbled on the cusp of sleep. "Sorry, I've been so very tired," she yawned and was then aware of gentle hands lifting her legs onto the lounge chair followed by a blanket being tucked around her.

"Sleep then."

She felt a feather like kiss on her forehead and wanted to protest, she wanted to get up and help but her body was having none of it. She turned onto her side with a sigh and gave into her exhaustion willingly.

Ben was here now.

Xxx

These next three weeks couldn't go quick enough for Ben. Whereas he was very excited about meeting his child, he was more concerned about the health of his wife. Lilly's exhaustion had been constant and she looked so pale and delicate. Her naturally thin frame didn't look strong enough to carry the growing child, the bigger the baby got the worse Lilly felt, and the fact that she willingly rested was so out of character for the normally vibrant outgoing young woman. Ben felt sorry for her as she should be enjoying this special part of being a woman and they were both counting down the days to the birth so Lilly could get herself well. He was slightly concerned about her giving birth at her parent's home too. If he had his way she would be tucked up in a hospital bed with all the medical equipment necessary on standby but he understood how important it was to Lilly that she go through the birthing process per Mandanan tradition.

He sat for a while and gently brushed Lilly's curls off her pale forehead, watching her sleep. This was a normal position for him recently. He'd leave her sleeping in the mornings and return to find her curled up in front of the fire in the evenings. Normal life had been put on hold.

Their family had been so supportive, though, Mari and Hanah had stepped in to provide hearty home cooked meals, Sergi and Greta had lent a hand with the crops and animals during the blizzards and Niall had kept Lilly company when Ben had to work late.

It was now time to move forward.

Ben reached over, snagged another blanket from the back of the chair and spread it over his sleeping wife. He had much to do and, after softly kissing Lilly's forehead, he went in search of the packed bags and baby equipment.

Xxx

"You are sure that Niall does not mind?" Lilly shifted to find a comfortable position. The buggy's seats didn't offer much padding at the best of times, and Lilly's nine-month-pregnant body was uncomfortable to say the least.

"He's fine." Ben clicked Hector on. He'd made quick work of packing and had woken Lilly at the last minute, hoping that she was rested enough to with stand the hour journey to her parent's house.

"It is a lot for him to do..."

Ben turned, smiled and placed a reassuring hand on Lilly's leg. "He offered," he nodded.

"I know, but it's still an awful lot for him to do." Lilly repeated as she fidgeted again. Her back ached and the baby was kicking so much that her stomach felt bruised. The added feeling of exhaustion and constant nausea was making her feel really miserable.

Ben inched over to the far side of the seat and urged her to rest her head on his lap. She struggled to lie down and soon felt the gentle fingers of her husband carding through her hair as she curled up at his side. She let his soothing, reassuring voice wash over her.

"We went through everything. He knows what he's doing and Conrad is going to help..."

Ben was in charge, he knew what to do and Lilly was happy to rest knowing everything was in good hands.

"Is she sleeping?" Hanah passed Ben a cup of coffee.

"Yeah," he nodded and took a sip.

"Good." Hanah pulled up her chair and joined her son in law at the kitchen table. She'd spent days preparing everything for her daughter's arrival. Lilly's old room had been cleaned and aired, new linen had been made and extra storage found of Ben and the baby. The room looked lovely and fresh flowers finished the welcoming look very nicely. Not that Lilly had noticed though. She'd staggered in, kissed her mother on the way to her bed and had been sleeping within minutes of her head hitting the feather pillow. Ben had given her the once over and, after being satisfied that the baby was fine, and that Lilly was just exhausted, he'd left her to rest.

"You look as tired as my daughter Benjamin," Hanah continued as she cut Ben a huge piece of pie.

Ben shrugged as he accepted the plate. "Yeah, I am," he conceded. "Think I'll take a nap after I unpack the rest of our things." He yawned and stretched.

"That is a very good idea," Hanah smiled kindly as she watched Ben pick at his food. "Supper is in hand and Sergi will be home at sunset. You have time to rest."

Ben glanced up and returned the smile. "Thank you," he sighed, reaching for Hanah's hand. "We appreciate everything you've done of us," he gave her hand a quick squeeze.

"That is what families are for, young Benjamin," Hanah nodded. "Let us step in now; you and Lilly need to rest and gain strength for the baby. We will take the strain for a while."

"Thank you," Ben repeated and yawned again. "The pie is lovely but..."

"You are tired. Go and rest. I will call when supper is ready." Hanah patted his hand.

Ben stood, walked round the table and kissed Hanah's cheek. "Thanks..."

"Enough with the thanks," Hanah scolded light heartedly. "Get out of my kitchen, young man," she grinned, playfully shooing him away. "Your father in law gets very grouchy if his supper is not on the table on his return home."

Ben smiled, knowing that he was being teased. "So I've heard," he joined in. "Lilly told me that he wouldn't speak for hours if he was kept waiting."

"And she's right, time for me to busy myself." Hanah stood and grabbed the dirty mugs off the table. "Vegetables do not get prepared by themselves," she sighed.

Ben chuckled when Hanah winked at him. "I'll leave you to it then," he said, backing out of the room.

"Sleep well, Benjamin."

Xxx

Lilly sat in the window seat, absent-mindedly stroking her stomach while watching the sun dip below the horizon. She had very fond memories of hours spent at this window, waiting for her father to return from his numerous trips beyond the province. The small town stretched toward the naquada mine and the outline had changed greatly over the years, the twin towers of the hospital now framed the road to the stone ring and new brick dwellings joined the older style buildings, adding to the growing development. She remembered a time when there were only a handful of families living here, a time of space and adventure. Much had changed over the years and much will be changing for many to come, as it should.

She turned from her memories and watched as Ben sighed and turned in his sleep. She hadn't heard him come to bed but she hadn't been surprised to find him snoring softly at her side when she woke. He had been so tired and she knew that her mother would have insisted that he rest as well. The fact that he'd not even changed clothing before lying down had proved how exhausted he'd been. Her husband was a very neat, organised young man, everything had an order in his life, everything was measured and precise, from the way he dressed down to the way he taught and cared for others. There was no corner cutting or clutter and this was something that Lilly had struggled slightly to adapt to. She was a 'free bird' in comparison. Her life had been carefree and bordering on frivolous, days spent roaming the countryside, hours lost to books with no restriction or regiment. Life on Mandana was peaceful and gentle and Lilly was, by nature, both. A dreamer but hard worker and she'd sometimes be so caught up in something that any thought of life outside her focus would be forgotten. The baby would change all this and she knew that she'd have to adapt to her husband's way of thinking and hope that some of her mother's homemaking traits would begin to show themselves, not that she was confident about that. Cara was the practical sister, content to cook, sew and generally run a home whereas Lilly was wistful, happy to lose herself in her work or in a book. Yes, she pulled her weight round their small farm but the time spent tending the animals was more day dreaming rather than working hard. Ben took up her slack happily though. She knew that he often despaired but he understood her and that was why they lived so happily together. Her 'happy place' was the hospital. She felt at home tending to the sick, it was her calling and it was something she excelled at.

The Ashton's actually complimented each other and their marriage worked because of it.

A tap at the door drew Lilly's attention. "Come." She smiled when her mother popped her head round the door.

"Supper is ready."

"Hi, ma." Lilly greeted, struggling off the window seat.

"You look rested," Hanah crossed to her side and helped her to her feet.

"I feel much better," Lilly nodded, rubbing her mother's arm and gaining her balance. "I see you managed to persuade my husband to nap," she giggled as she grabbed her robe.

"There was no persuading to do," Hanah shrugged and helped her into the robe. "He was nearly sleeping at my table."

"He's tired."

"Yes he is."

They both stood and watched as Ben mumbled and turned restlessly.

"I hate to wake him but if I do not he will not sleep tonight," Lilly sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I did promise him that I'd wake you both for supper."

"I'll wake him then." Lilly turned and smiled. "He will only grouch if I don't," she added and reached to open the curtains. "Is pa home?"

"He is just washing up," Hanah nodded.

"Cara?"

"She is in town with Edward," Hanah crossed and hung Lilly's discarded dress in the closet.

"They seem to be getting serious," Lilly straightened and rubbed her lower back, willing the usual ache to lesson.

"Yes they do," Hanah agreed and picked up empty water pitcher from the bedside cabinet. "It is nice to see her happy and he seems to suit her well. Now, come on Lilly Lou, supper will be on the table in ten minutes," she advised as she turned to leave.

"Okay."

Lilly waited for the click of the door closing before easing down on to the bed at her husband's side and tenderly brushing her fingers through his hair.

"Hey, sleepyhead," she whispered softly, "time to wake up." She watched as Ben mumbled and smacked his lips. "Supper is ready," she continued and Ben rolled onto his back and stretched.

"Lillyput?"

Lilly smiled as he turned his head and opened his eyes. "Hey there," she greeted tenderly.

"Time is it?" Ben yawned.

"The sun is dipping and supper is on the table."

"How long have we slept?"

Lilly stood as Ben sat up. "I do believe we have been sleeping most of the afternoon," she stated as she folded down the quilt.

"Oh."

Lilly giggled as she watched her husband frown at his attire. "Yes, my dear. You did sleep in your clothing."

"Why would I do that?"

"Because you were tired," Lilly shrugged.

"Oh."

"Ma says supper will be ready in ten minutes. You have time to change," Lilly crossed to the bathroom to freshen up. "Pa is home." She poured a pitcher of water into the sink and grabbed the soap. "Cara is out for the night so it will be just the four of us," she paused when she felt familiar arms go round her waist.

"Uh huh."

The familiar hands then stroked her stomach.

"How you feeling Lil's?"

She stared in the mirror at their reflection. Ben rested his chin on her shoulder and she leaned into his embrace. "Much better," she nodded. "Nausea is gone and I'm actually hungry for once," she smiled.

"That's great!"

Lilly sighed in contentment as Ben started to nibble her neck and she arched it slightly so he could gain better access. She felt loved and contented in his arms and wished she could freeze this moment for a lifetime.

"I love you," she brought her hand up and stroked his cheek.

"Ditto," Ben replied, turned her head and kissed her passionately, his hand continuing to stroke her stomach. He grinned and pulled away when he felt the baby kick.

"I think someone is not happy that papa is showing mama some affection," he laughed and Lilly added her hand to his.

"Someone has been very active today," she sighed. "I hope the child is not this active when he or she is finally here."

"Children, supper!"

Sergi's call interrupted their musing and Lilly grinned at Ben.

"Think that's our final warning," she giggled.

"You go," Ben kissed her forehead. "I'll be down after I change."

"Don't be long."

"I won't."

Lilly pulled out of his arms, quickly splashed some water on her face and waddled out.

Ben shook his head and grinned at the sight of his heavily pregnant wife as she turned and winked at him.

She'd never looked so beautiful!


	2. Chapter 2

Supper had been very enjoyable with relaxing family conversation around the table with hearty home cook food and, after helping Hanah with the dishes, they'd all gathered in front of the fire in the living room.

Lilly lay with her head in Ben's lap listening to her father discussing his busy day at the mine. After the explosion, which killed several men and injured Ben and Daniel Jackson, a lot of re building had been necessary. Sergi had headed a team of planners who were overseeing the work and his days were long and hard. She wished that he'd slow down some, he wasn't getting any younger but her father was a proud, pragmatic man who was not afraid of getting his hands dirty. He led by example and others looked to him for guidance and leadership.

"So, how much longer is it going to be before the mine will up and running again?" Ben continued the conversation as Lilly began to doze.

Sergi sighed heavily before answering. "Well, the main section is now secured and safe but the second cavern is weeks from being ready."

"Is the System Lord aware?"

The Mandanans had brokered an agreement with a lesser know System Lord that they would provide regular supplies of weapon grade naquada in exchange for their freedom and peace. This had worked well for centuries and the people of Mandana were left alone to live their lives.

"We did send a message through the stone ring," Sergi reached for his pipe as he spoke.

"And, they're okay with it?"

"At the moment," Sergi nodded as he tapped the pipe on the arm of his chair before lighting it. "We have been in this sort of position before," he admitted between puffs. "Kenera is normally very accommodating so we are not concerned."

"That's good," Ben nodded as he pulled a comforter down to cover his wife who was now snoring softly.

Hanah dimmed the light on the table slightly so as not to disturb her daughter. "She is still so very tired, Benjamin," she stated as Ben tucked the blanket round Lilly. "Is this normal? I did not suffer with exhaustion like Lilly has with either of my pregnancies."

"It's to be expected, Hanah," Ben sighed, smiling sadly at his mother in law. "This has been a very tough pregnancy for her. These things happen I'm afraid. Once young Ashton arrives she'll feel so much better, I promise."

"Well, I do hope so. She cannot carry on much longer like this."

"I know, but we're nearly there and I hope that some of your tender loving care will help her relax more and she'll be more than ready for the birth."

"I will do my best," Hanah smiled and picked up her embroidery. "Any ideas on names yet?" She asked, threading her needle.

"We've got a few in mind," Ben answered, leaning his head against the back of the sofa. "We don't really want to say as we want it to be a surprise."

"We were the same, weren't we Sergi?" Hanah smiled as she began to sew.

"Oh, yes," Sergi agreed. "I was under the threat of sleeping in the barn if I let anything slip."

"Well, of course," Hanah pulled her legs up on the chair and leaned into the light of the lamp to get a better view of her sewing. "Actually, Lilly was easy to name. Lillian was my sister's second name so that was an easy choice and Cara, well Lilly named Cara. Her baby sister was always going to be called Cara. I've no idea where she came up with that idea but, from the moment we told her that she was going to have a sibling, the baby was always 'baby Cara.' I am just glad we did not have a boy as I think that Lilly would have been very disappointed," Hanah chuckled as she adjusted her glasses and continued her work.

Sergi stood and added another log to the fire. "Talking about Cara. What time is she due back tonight?" He asked as he prodded the ashes and replaced the guard.

"She said she will be staying at Edwards and we're not to worry."

"Oh."

Cara and Edward had been seeing each other for a while now. Edward Pollard was a metalworker who had moved to Tanger province about six months ago and worked as a tutor at the local school as well as helping his father in his metal casting business. Hanah and Sergi were hoping that their youngest daughter might settle down with the young labourer. She needed direction in her life. Cara was not as studios as Lilly. She helped her mother with her cooking classes and was a natural homemaker who longed to have a family and purpose in her life. She was born to be a wife and mother and with such a steady relationship with Edward, the assumption was that her calling in life would soon be recognised.

"What do you think of young Edward, Benjamin?" Sergi asked as he made his way back to his armchair.

Ben slowly turned his head and opened his eyes, his father in laws question pulling him from his light slumber.

"I don't really know him, Sergi," he shrugged. "But he comes across as nice enough and Cara seems happy."

Sergi picked his pipe up again. "Yes she does," he agreed. "But I have heard rumours..."

His admission made Hanah snap her head up from her sewing. "Rumours? What of?" She asked urgently.

"I'm sure it's nothing, ma," Sergi continued. "Just talk amongst the miners about his temper."

"I have not seen his temper," Hanah frowned, placing her sewing on her lap. "Have you Benjamin?"

Ben slowly shook his head. "No I haven't. I've only heard good things about him and his family."

Sergi shrugged. "Just whispers amongst the men," he said and grabbed the candle to re light his pipe. "Take no notice. I'm sure Cara knows what she's doing," he added with a smile.

Ben watched as Hanah frowned before returning to her needlework. She seemed shocked by her husband's revelation, as he was too. He made a mental note to ask Lilly to have a word with her sister, as it was unusual for Sergi to make such an observation.

Soon though, the room returned to its tranquil atmosphere. Hanah singing softly as she sewed, Sergi lost in one of Daniel's books and Ben and Lilly dozing on the sofa.

The Tanger household was at peace.

Xxx

"Right. Have you got everything you need?" Ben walked round the room, picking up discarded clothes and straightening the curtains. Lilly was propped up in bed with a pile of books and old Earth magazines in easy reach.

"I will be fine," she reassured him, reaching for the first of Sam's latest deliveries, Huckleberry Finn. The one positive thing about having to endure bed rest was that she could read as much as she wanted and her Earth friends always made sure they sent her a varied selection of literature when they checked in on a monthly basis. Her library was growing now, Lewis Carroll joined Mills and Boons and William Thackeray stood side by side with Enid Bylton. Her passion for reading was shared with Niall Wenton, Ben's closest friend on Mandana. Niall had been visiting Lilly as much as he could, keeping her company on the long days Ben had to work. Lilly and Niall had started a book of the month club and they were both starting with the Mark Twain classic. She was actually looking forward to spending the morning lost in the book.

"I have Huckleberry Finn, lovely spring sunshine shining through the window and bird song for company," she looked up from flipping through her book. "I shall be fine."

Ben smiled and shook his head. "I'll be back at sunset," he stated, perching on the edge of the bed. "My shift finishes at lunch but I have to travel on to the Stargate for the monthly check in."

"Oh, yes, I'd forgotten about that," Lilly grinned. "I am so excited to see which books are going to be delivered next," she gushed, trying to sit up straighter only to give up with a groan when a sharp pain shot through abdomen.

Ben immediately noticed the look of discomfort on her face. "Are you okay?" He asked urgently as Lilly rubbed her stomach, willing the discomfort to lesson. Eventually she let out a breathy sigh, glanced up and smiled.

"I am fine, just moved the wrong way," she reassured him as the pain disappeared completely.

"Are you sure?" Ben frowned as he placed his hands on her stomach.

"I am sure," Lilly patted his hand. "The pain has gone and you need to go to work."

She watched as Ben picked her wrist up and started to take her pulse. She leaned her head back and closed her eyes, allowing her husband to do his checks in silence as she knew how concerned he was about her condition.

After taking her blood pressure and temperature, Ben sat and carded his fingers through her curls. "Right, everything seems okay," he sighed. "But I don't want you to move out of bed today. I'm going to tell ma that you have to rest as much as possible. When you need the toilet you call someone, if the pain comes back you call someone, understand?"

Lilly opened her eyes, turned her head and smiled softly. "I understand Platon." She allowed her husband's hand on her forehead but did role her eyes in frustration. "Go to work Benjamin," she ordered gently. "We will be fine."

Ben leaned in and kissed her tenderly before pulling away and grabbing his jacket. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Okay."

"Just rest."

"I will."

"Call your mother."

"I know."

"Do nothing but read."

"Give everyone my love."

"I will."

Lilly watched as Ben hesitated at the door. "Go, Benjamin," she sighed as she picked up book again. "I have a date with Huckleberry Finn," she grinned.

"Behave yourself, Lillyput."

Lilly turned to the first page as Ben slowly closed the door behind him. As she settled down to lose herself in the classic, she slowly rubbed her stomach. Her abdomen felt tight and uncomfortable.

Bumba Ashton was getting restless.

Xxx

Ben had left Lilly in the more than capable hands of her mother and made his way to work, looking forward to tying a few loose ends together so he could concentrate all his energy into preparing for parenthood.

Today was going to be his last day before taking leave and he needed to ensure that Conrad had the training schedule well in hand. Ben and Lilly had compiled a training course to assist the Platons and Helenas as they accustomed themselves to the new technology and equipment provided by Stargate Command. Defibulator and Intubation procedures were complicated enough for highly trained Earth doctors and nurses but the medical staff at the hospital was only just becoming acquainted with antibiotic and preventative medication regimes. Thankfully things were falling into place and Ben just wanted to go through Lilly's notes with Conrad before 'hanging up his stethoscope' for a while.

The journey to the hospital was made all the more pleasurable by the warm spring sunshine, the snow and frost had made the final descent to the main entrance incredibly difficult but, today, Hector had practically 'skipped' down the incline.

Ben tied Hector to the horse pole and drinking station, attached the hay bag and turned to climb the steps leading to the hospital. He stopped when he noticed a young woman sitting on the top step, shivering slightly. When she lifted her head to glance his way he immediately recognised his sister in law.

"Cara?" Ben hurried up the steps, two at a time. "Are you all right?" He sat at her side and took her hand in his.

"N-no." Cara sobbed and buried herself into the embrace Ben then offered.

"Shh...Shh..." Ben soothed, rocking her slightly. "What's happened Cara?"

"I-I-can't tell you," Cara hiccupped, her voice muffled by Ben's jacket.

"Shh...Of course you can," Ben assured. "You can tell me anything Cara."

"Not this," Cara sobbed again. "I-can't tell you this."

Ben sat and rocked her for a while, feeling the shivers that wracked her body. He reached and placed his hand on her forehead.

"Cara, I think you're going into shock, sweetheart," he stated when he felt how cold and clammy her skin was. "I need you to listen to me, okay?"

"O-okay," Cara sniffed.

"I need to look you over so we're going to get up really slowly and make our way into my office, okay?" He kept his voice slow, calm and reassuring.

"I d-don't want to tell you," Cara continued to shake as she grabbed Ben's lapels.

"That's okay," Ben nodded as he eased her to her feet. "You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I just want to make sure you're all right and get you warmed up." He turned and steered her through the doors and down the corridor.

Cara leaned into his arms and stumbled along beside him. Ben was more than worried. She had no obvious injury, no sign of blood or wounds but something was really wrong with his sister in law.

"It's going to be all right, Cara," he soothed her as they slowly made their way to his office. He was grateful that the hospital was quiet this early in the morning as he was sure that Cara would be horrified if anyone saw her in this state. The fact that she'd obviously sought out his help over others added to his concern.

Ben opened his door and led Cara over to the examination bed. "Here we are. Let's get you warmed up, hey?"

Cara curled into a tight ball and sobbed into the pillow as Ben covered her with a thick blanket.

"Just try and relax," Ben stroked her arm and sat at her side. "It's going to be okay," he promised.

His easy final day had just taken a turn for the worse.


	3. Chapter 3

"Lilly?" Hanah sat at her daughter's side and stroked her hair.

Lilly was curled up with a bowl within easy reach and books strewn all around her. She'd barely managed to read one page of Huckleberry Finn before being hit by her usual nausea and exhaustion.

Hanah had hurried to the bedroom when Lilly called for her, sat with her as she lost the battle with her nausea and then read to her when she succumbed to her exhaustion.

It was now late morning and Hanah needed her daughter to wake up and try to eat and drink as she had strict orders from her son in law.

Lilly smacked her lips and groaned. She was aware of her mother's fingers in her hair but felt too wiped out to acknowledge her presence. She just wanted to sleep and wake up when everything was over, when she could hold her child in her arms and feel well again.

"Come on, Lilly. Benjamin will not be happy if you do not drink."

Her mother's insistence wore her down in the end and she opened her eyes with a sigh. "What time is it?" She asked her voice barely above a whisper.

"It is nearing midday, Lill's."

Lilly lay listlessly and watched as Hanah poured her a glass of water. "I'm tired, ma," she sighed softly.

"I know you are child," Hanah nodded sadly. "But you need to drink."

Lilly struggled to sit up and was grateful of her mother's assistance. She accepted the glass of water and took a sip before resting her head against headboard.

"You need to drink all of that, Lilly," Hanah urged gently.

"Give me a moment, ma." Lilly closed her eyes and willed her stomach not to rebel before risking another sip.

"Are you feeling any better for the sleep?" Hanah asked, smoothing out Lilly's covers.

"Some," Lilly nodded, taking another sip. "I just have a headache now."

"That's because you need water."

"I know," Lilly sighed and rubbed her stomach when the baby squirmed again.

"Is the baby active today?" Hanah's hand joined in the soothing motion.

"Oh, yes," Lilly replied, shifting slightly to make herself comfortable. "The baby is always active," she added as she drained the water and passed the glass back to her mother.

"That's good isn't it?" Hanah placed the now empty glass back onto the bedside cabinet and then helped Lilly to lie back down again.

"It's very good," Lilly mumbled as she curled up on her side again. "The baby is doing just fine," she sighed. "It's mama that's struggling." She reached and knuckled her eyes tiredly. "I have had enough, ma," she admitted softly.

Hanah took her hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "You are doing so well Lilly," she praised. "You are so strong..."

"I don't feel it."

"I know you don't at the moment but, believe me, you have been incredibly strong and brave. You are going to be a wonderful mother and this child is so very lucky."

The look of pride her mother gave her made tears well in Lilly's eyes. "I'm so very tired, ma." She was helpless to prevent them falling and allowed Hanah to tenderly wipe them away with her handkerchief.

"Don't get upset Lilly. It will soon be over and you'll be feeling like your old self, I promise."

"It's j-just been such a l-long w-winter," Lilly hiccupped as more tears fell.

"I know child but spring is here now and your baby is going to bring you such great joy. I am so proud of you." Hanah sat on the bed and Lilly inched over so her head rested in her mother's lap.

"I just want to sleep."

"Then sleep, I will read to you."

Lilly lay and let Mark Twain's words wash over her as Hanah read softly and slowly. She felt so safe in her mother's arms.

Xxx

"Are you feeling any better?"

Ben studied Cara as she wrapped her hands round the hot cup of sweetened tea. She was no longer shivering and seemed more in control.

"I am," she nodded, glanced up and weakly smiled. "I am sorry to be a worry to you."

"It's fine," Ben reassured. "I must admit that I am concerned about you, Cara," he inched his chair closer to the examination bed. "Something has obviously happened to you and I want to try and help."

"You can't," Cara shook her head vigorously. "It is my fault, no one else's," she placed her cup on the table and started to push her blankets to one side. "You have been very kind, Benjamin but I need to go home."

"Whoa, there," Ben stood and gently pushed her back onto the bed. "You're not going anywhere until your blood pressure improves so I suggest you rest for a while longer." Her blood pressure had been pretty low when Ben took it five minutes ago and he knew she'd likely fall over if she tried to stand.

"Please Cara, tell me what happened," he urged again as Cara gave in to her fatigue, rested her head on her pillows, and closed her eyes.

"I cannot. I do not wish anyone to know."

Ben sat again and placed what he hoped was a comforting hand on Cara's blanket covered knee. "On Earth," he began to explain, "A Platon is viewed as a person of trust. They take a vow not to share information of their patients with others. Anything you tell me will be between us only."

"I can't," Cara covered her eyes with an arm. It was then that Ben noticed the bruising on her wrists.

He reached and pulled her sleeves down. "Who did this to you Cara?" He asked urgently only to receive silence in answer. "Did Edward do this?" He persevered.

"It was not his fault," Cara mumbled softly.

"Oh?"

"It was my fault."

"What? Did you ask him to hurt you?" Ben sat on the edge of the bed and took Cara's hand in his. "Did you?"

Cara lowered her arm and slowly shook her head. "No, but I struggled and he couldn't help it," she shrugged.

"You...you struggled?" Ben frowned, not really liking where this conversation was going.

"He said that it was natural, that I was being stupid," Cara started to cry again. "I mean, he's right. We've been courting for a long time now, it is natural. I mean..."

Ben grabbed her hand again. "Cara? Did Edward force himself on you?"

"It was my fault, I... I..."

"This is very important, Cara," Ben inched closer, "did he ask your permission?"

Cara looked down at her hand and avoided eye contact. "I said no," she mumbled softly, almost too softly.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that?" Ben squeezed her hand again. "Did Edward ask your permission?" He asked again.

Cara lifted her head. "I said no but he..." More tears fell as she struggled to remain in control. "...he- he forced me," she finally admitted with a sob.

Ben immediately pulled her into his arms. "Oh God, I'm so sorry Cara," he soothed as he rocked her slightly. "I'm so so sorry."

"It hurt, Ben. It hurt s-so m-much," Cara continued to cry. "It was all my fault."

"No. Cara, it was not your fault. What he did was wrong, so very wrong."

"I'm scared."

"I know."

"What am I going to do?"

Ben eased her out of his arms. "You need to let me examine you Cara," he said softly. "I need to know if he's hurt you at all."

Cara wiped her nose with her sleeve. "I don't want you to."

"Someone has to make sure you're okay. Would you rather Lilly have a look?"

"What? No, no. I c-can't," she stuttered, wiping her eyes. "Please don't make me Ben."

"I promise it'll be okay but I really need to check you out sweetie," Ben smiled, reached and tucked an errant piece of hair behind Cara's ear. "I have done this many, many times, I promise."

Cara stared at him for a while before finally nodding and shuffling down so she was horizontal again. "Don't t-tell my p-parents," she pleaded as Ben pulled the curtains round the bed.

"Just let me make sure everything is all right, okay?"

"Okay," Lilly took a deep breath and placed her arm over her eyes.

Ben made his way to the sink and began to wash his hands, one eye on his patient at all times.

This was not going to be easy.

Xxx

Ben snapped his gloves off and pulled Cara's blanket back down. "Look's fine," he glanced up and smiled reassuringly, "...some bruising and bleeding but, on the whole, it could be much worse." He swivelled on his chair, threw his gloves onto the table and then helped Cara upright. "I can give you some pain killers if you need some?"

"No, it's fine. I can manage," Cara reply was flustered.

Ben knew how embarrassed she must feel but he'd had to make sure she hadn't torn anything or that there wasn't any major bleeding. "Things should settle down in a day or so but I'd like to give you a check over just to make sure."

Cara pulled her hair back and tied it in a neat ponytail. "I will come to you if there is a problem," she nodded. "But I just want to go home and forget everything that happened." She inched down the bed and swung her legs over the side. "Where is my coat?"

Ben placed a hand on her knee. "I know this is really hard for you but I need to ask you one more thing." He tipped her chin so she looked him straight in the eye. "Cara, did Edward ejaculate?" The question nearly stuck in his throat and the fact that Cara immediately turned away made him feel even more uncomfortable.

"Cara?" He gently tipped her chin again. "I'm so sorry I have to ask you these things but, it's very important."

Cara blinked slowly, tears falling silently down her face again. "He did climax," she admitted softly and Ben sighed deeply.

"I'm so sorry."

"Y-you d-don't think I c-could b-be...?" Cara stammered. "I m-mean, I have n-never h-had b-before," she began to sob.

Ben rubbed her arm soothingly. "I don't know, Cara, it is possible."

Cara sprang off the bed and started pacing up and down. "I c-can't b-be. I j-just c-can't..."

"Calm down, sweetie," Ben urged, crossing to her side and tried to comfort her.

"No...No. You don't understand," Cara continued to pace. "I just c-can't be with child. I...it would bring shame on my f-family. I would be forced to m-marry Edward, it is the Mandanan way. M-my life will be ruined; he is not my c-chosen one. Y-you d-don't understand..."

Cara was now weeping as she frantically paced up and down the room. "Y-you and Lilly are s-so lucky. You are soul mates; your child is a g-gift. Edward t-took me w-without my consent," she turned to face Ben. "He hurt me!" She spat. "He hurt me and if I am with child it will ruin _my _life, _my_ parent's lives and, most of all, the child's life. I will not want it Ben, I will not!" She stood and swayed, her emotional outburst making her light-headed.

Ben reached out to steady her before gently steering her towards a chair where he urged her to sit and take some deep breaths. "You need to calm down, Cara," he soothed, rubbing her arm gently. "You're probably not pregnant..."

"But there is a chance that I am." Cara's reply was adamant and Ben hung his head in frustration.

"Yes, there is," he admitted with a sign.

"I cannot be. I j-just cannot," Cara hiccupped. "I'd rather die," she sobbed. "There must be something you can do, Ben."

Ben slowly shook his head. "We have to leave things to fate..."

Cara sat up straight and wiped her nose on her sleeve again. "I will sort this out on my own," she nodded as she struggled to pull herself together. "I know of a way."

"What way?" Ben demanded.

"There is a man."

"What man?"

"No one you know," Cara stood and grabbed her coat. "He has helped others in this position. He will know what to do," she said as she struggled into her coat. "Thank you for your time."

She turned to leave but Ben snagged her arm. He was loathed to suggest this, it had been his and Lilly's pact not to rely on Earth's help with all medical matters, only the ones of life and death, but he could see how desperate Cara was. Bringing an unwanted child into the world was almost criminal and if she was pregnant then it would ruin her life and he'd never forgive himself for allowing that to happen when he knew that one small tablet would solve all her problems. The fact that Cara willingly wanted to risk her health by going to somebody untrained was very worrying indeed.

He knew what he had to do. "I will help you Cara," he conceded with a sad smile. "You'll need to come with me to the stone ring where Doctor Fraiser will be able to advise you what to do."

Cara sniffed and tried to smile. "You are sure?"

"Yes. There is medication that is used on Earth that can prevent pregnancy in such circumstances if caught early enough."

Cara nodded slowly as Ben spoke. "So, when do we leave?" She asked this time her smile reached her eyes.

"Give me half an hour to go through things with Conrad," Ben smiled back and caught the tears of relief Cara was then helpless to stop. "Try and get some rest," he continued. "I won't be long." He leant and kissed Cara's forehead. "There is a way out of this, I promise."

"Thank you." Cara pulled him in for a hug. "You will be saving my life," she whispered as Ben returned the hug.

"I know," Ben sighed, knowing that he was risking disappointing Lilly but the situation dictated drastic action.


	4. Chapter 4

Author note.

Firstly, can I apologise for falsely leading anyone to believing that this is a SG1 based saga. My Mandanan saga started with a story around SG1 making friends on a primitive planet in I Can't Live If Living is Without You, the following books will now follow Ben and Lilly as they progress through their lives on Mandana – they are stories of their family with the SGC interwove around their lives. I wasn't really sure whether to archive them or where to archive them and had hoped they'd fit in rather well here.

Whereas, they are not SG1 orientated I truly hope that some of you will take my new characters to heart and enjoy their many adventures to come.

If anyone thinks they should be archived elsewhere, could you please give me some ideas where to put them

Anyway – those you stick with the sagas, I truly hope you enjoy reading them as much as I've truly loved writing them

Kind regards

Ann-Marie – aka PinkyRidz

Lilly was bored. She'd woken up from her nap feeling slightly better, not quite well enough to concentrate on reading her book but well enough to flick through some baby magazines that Earth had sent through. She marvelled in all the equipment that Earth dwellers used to help look after their children from the ornate prams to the designer clothing. Life on Mandana was very different; mothers carried their young in slings, the dirt tracks too rough for any sort transport other than horse and cart.

There was no option of bottle-feeding; breast was not only best but also the only means to feed the young. Mandanan child rearing was primitive, the mother being the main caregiver and teacher with the father taking very much a back seat and tending the farm and crops, it had worked well for many generations but it didn't stop Lilly daydreaming about life on Earth as a young mother.

After reading an article about what position to place the child in while sleeping Lilly sighed, folded the magazine and threw it on the end of the bed with the rest of the discarded magazines. She could hear her parents chatting in the yard as they tended their animals and envied them their freedom.

The minutes, hours, days and weeks were going so slowly now and she was more than fed up. Many of her patients over the years had been pregnant women who 'glowed' with good health during their pregnancy and she'd envied their times carrying their children. She always imagined feeling the same pride and contentment and hated the fact that her own pregnancy had been a nightmare from day one.

She just wanted it over now. She wanted her baby. She wanted to be a family.

Xxx

"I'll send through a couple of doses of the 'Morning After' pill." Ben heard Janet sigh. "You do know what you're doing, don't you Ben?"

He scrubbed a hand through his hair as he replied. "What choice do I have? I can't risk her being pregnant as it's so unfair to her, he raped her and a child would ruin her life."

"What does Lilly think?"

"She, um...she doesn't know," Ben admitted softly.

"Don't you think you and Cara should talk to the family before taking such drastic action?"

"You've got to be kidding!" Ben exclaimed. "Heck, Lilly is under enough stress as it is, she's still unwell and the baby's birth is just round the corner. Sergi would hunt Edward down and lynch him, which would just add to all the stress and would not do Lilly or Cara any good at all. It's better this way." Ben listened as Janet broke off to order the medication. His mind whirled as he waited on her confirmation, he knew he was backed into a corner but what choice did he have? Cara was relying on him.

"Okay," Ben jumped slightly when Janet spoke again. "The shipment will be with you in ten minutes. Cara's going to need a lot of support and help, not only physically but mentally. Rape is a very serious thing and needs to be handled gently and with compassion."

"I know," Ben sighed.

"I agree that Lilly is under too much pressure to help her sister but Cara will need to lean on someone and you're going to have your hands full, you do know that?"

"I do. Please, Janet, this is the only way."

"I know but it would be best to get the support of the family."

"And we will, once Lilly gives birth and is feeling better."

"If you need anything..."

"I know."

"Right. Next scheduled check in will be in four weeks but you'd best let us know when young Ashton is born, there's a sweep stake going on for the sex, weight and name you know."

Ben chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Nice to see somethings never change."

"Yes, well, just because you live on another planet doesn't mean you're not part of the SG family."

"And that means a lot."

"I'm glad. Listen, I'm going to have to cut this short, SG1 are waiting to ship out. We've added a few presents for you, Lilly and the baby in the package. Good luck with everything, Ben."

"Thank you Janet."

"SGC over and out."

Ben watched as the MALP withdrew through the event horizon and then crossed over to the waiting buggy. Cara was shivering slightly and he reached and placed a rug round her shoulders.

"Help's coming Cara," he reassured and Cara smiled shakily back.

"Thank you Ben."

Ben watched Cara close her eyes and rest her head against the side of the wagon. She was obviously exhausted and he wondered how they were going to explain her condition the rest of the family on their return.

He had some quick thinking to do that was for sure.

Xxx

"Are you not hungry Cara?"

Ben watched as Sergi tapped his daughter's plate. He felt so sorry for her. They'd managed to pass off Cara's absence by explaining that she'd popped into the hospital to deliver something to Conrad and then begged Ben to take her with him to the Stargate. The story was an easy one to tell but Cara was now withdrawn and shaky, which was not surprising under the circumstances.

"I had a large lunch with Edward's family," Cara shrugged and tried to smile to hide the lie but Ben could see the tiny tremors in her hands as she placed her spoon down.

"How are his family?" Hanah asked as she passed the bread rolls round the table.

"Fine," Cara mumbled.

"And Edward?"

"Fine," Cara ducked her head and shrugged.

"What did you do last night, Car?" Lilly joined in the conversation. She'd insisted on joining the family for the evening meal although Ben had tried to insist that she remain in bed. She was going stir crazy and the normality of sitting around the table with her family was a welcome change.

"Car?" She repeated when there was no answer forthcoming.

"N-nothing."

"Really? No long romantic walk to watch the sunset? No snuggling on the sofa in front of the fire?" Lilly accepted a roll off her mother. "You two are so lucky you know," she continued, "you have your freedom and you can do just as you please. I'm stuck here, the size of a house, being brutally kicked until I feel bruised and too exhausted to even manage to help ma with the chores. This child baring thing is not easy you know. Just wait until you're with child..."

The sudden sound of a chair scrapping on the stone floor interrupted Lilly's words.

"I-I'm s-sorry," Cara stammered as she stood and pushed away from the table. "I have a headache," she explained. "I-I think I'll go and lay down for a while, if you don't mind."

Hanah glanced up from her soup. "You do look pale Cara," she stated. "Do you need anything?" She started to stand but the shake of Cara's head halted her movement.

"I just need some sleep ma," she assured and placed her napkin on the table.

"You are sure?"

"Yes, ma."

Ben sighed as he watched Cara move to her mother's side and kiss her cheek. When she turned to leave he caught her eye and gave her what he hope was a reassuring smile. Cara returned the smile with a shrug and then shakily left the room.

"Is she alright, Benjamin?" Hanah asked after a few moments.

Ben cleared his throat before answering. "Um...She was quiet on the way home." The lie wasn't all together inaccurate. "She's probably just tired," he explained and returned to his meal though his appetite was as absent as his worry over Cara was present.

"Well, she's not near as tired as I am," Lilly moaned. "Bumba has been very active today, actually..."

The rest of Lilly's explanation was lost to Ben as he continued to think of his sister in law's plight. He felt powerless to help her and just wished last night hadn't happened at all.

"Did you not hear what I said, Benjamin?" Lilly's hand on his drew Ben out of his musing.

"I'm sorry my love," he turned and smiled. "What were you saying?"

"I was saying that Bumba has been very active today," Lilly repeated. "And I am fed up of lounging in my bed all day."

Ben sighed, picked Lilly's hand up and gently kissed her palm, feeling slightly guilty for ignoring his heavily pregnant and sick wife. "I know you are," he smiled. "But we are counting the weeks and now that I've finished work, I'll keep you company." He gave her hand a quick reassuring squeeze before returning to his meal.

Everyday chatter filled the room as Lilly and her parents began discussing the weather and changes of season. Ben tried to join in and lose himself in the normality but his mind continued to stray to Cara. Finally, after about ten minutes he placed his napkin on the table and stood.

"I think I'll take Cara some medication," he stated and reached for a glass to fill with fresh water. "She complained of a headache when we were at the gate. I think I'll go check on her."

Lilly glanced up from her meal. "Okay," she smiled and then returned to her conversation.

Ben crossed to the sink and filled the glass, reached into the cabinet for some painkillers and, after smiling reassuringly at Hanah, went in search of his sister in law.

Xxx

"How are you doing?" Ben sat on Cara's bed and stroked her back. Her room was in darkness, the curtains closed on the night and the oil lamps unlit. She was lying on her stomach and her head buried in her pillows.

"G-go away." Cara's muffled voice hitched as she tried to shake his hand off.

"I've brought you some painkillers," Ben persevered, shaking a couple of tablets out into his hand.

Cara turned her face to look at him, the track of her tears clear to Ben even in the dim light. "I do not have a headache, as you well know." Her answer was clipped and tinged with annoyance.

"I know you don't," Ben nodded with a sigh, "but they might help if you get stomach cramps due to the medication Janet sent." He reached of the glass of water. "Please Cara, just take a couple – they'll help you sleep and you need a good night of rest."

Cara gave in with an angry shrug. "Give them here," she ordered as she pushed herself upright and flopped against her pillows. Ben passed her the glass of water and medication and then watched as she took them and drained the water.

"Happy?" She snapped.

Ben slowly shook his head. "No, I'm not actually," he admitted. "I'm worried about you."

"I shall be fine," Cara huffed and lay on her side again with her back to Ben, effectively shutting him out of her misery.

"Cara, please..."

"Go back to your wife, Benjamin. She needs me more than I do." Cara sounded exhausted as she continued. "Your child will be born soon, you do not have time to baby sit me."

"Don't be stupid..."

"Please, Ben. Just go away. Leave me alone, I will be fine. You do not have to concern yourself. I am a grown woman and can deal with this by myself. Good night, Benjamin." Cara pulled her quilt up over her head and Ben hung his head in both frustration and defeat.

"You know where I am if you need me," he sighed and then straightened her covers. He leaned over and kissed the top of her covered head. "You are not alone in all this," he promised before turning to leave. He stood in the doorway for a moment or two, watching Cara for any signs of distress, his heart breaking for her. When he was happy that she was okay, for now, he stepped out and slowly closed the door behind him.

After the sound of the door shutting, Cara gave into her emotions. She turned her face into her pillow and sobbed.

Life was not fair and she hurt so much.

Xxx

Dawn was just breaking when Ben became aware of someone softly crying. After spending a pleasant evening with Sergi and Hanah, Ben and Lilly had retired to bed early, both equally tired. Unfortunately, the good night's sleep Ben expected hadn't come as he'd tossed and turned, worrying about not only Lilly, but Cara too. He'd checked on her before going to bed and had to sooth her back to sleep when he found her in the grip of a nightmare.

He'd lain awake afterwards listening to Lilly as she groaned and shifted constantly in her sleep and assumed the heart breaking crying he now heard came from his wife. He was just about to turn over and offer her some comfort when he noticed Cara in the doorway, bent over slightly and obviously in pain.

"Cara?" He whispered softly so not to wake Lilly.

"It hurts," Cara groaned and Ben eased himself quietly out of bed and grabbed his dressing gown. He quickly steered Cara back to her room, assuring her that everything would be okay.

"Where does it hurt?" He asked as Cara lay on the bed and curled into a ball.

"My stomach hurts," she groaned. "Why does it hurt?"

"It's the medication," Ben sighed and poured her glass of water. "Can you sit up and take some tablets?" He asked grabbing the bottle of painkillers he'd left at her bedside.

Cara struggled into a sitting position and held out a shaky hand.

"Are you bleeding?" Ben asked as she took the painkillers.

"Yes," she confirmed and started to rub her stomach. "I feel nauseous too," she admitted with a sigh, leaned her head back and closed her eyes.

"It's just the medication," Ben repeated. "It'll pass soon," he promised. "Do you think you could lie down again so I can examine you?"

Cara nodded slowly and inched down on the bed again.

Ben gently palpated her stomach, happy to note that things seem just fine. Her abdomen was slightly swollen but that was normal. "Are you bleeding much?" He asked as he started to pull her quilt up over her but had to stop when Cara suddenly sat bolt upright and started to gag. Ben turned and grabbed the trash bin and held it as Cara vomited.

"It's going to be okay," he soothed when Cara sobbed and spat as her vomiting petered out.

"I did not ask for this." Cara began to shake as she continued to cry. "It is not my fault."

Ben hurried out of the room and emptied the trash bin. He returned to Cara's side and dabbed her face with a damp cloth. "I know it's not your fault," he agreed softly. "You are so strong Cara," he took her into his arms and hugged her. "You are amazing," he said as he gently rocked her.

Cara clung to him for dear life and allowed him to envelope her, feeling safe in his arms. "You are amazing too." She rested her head against his chest as he continued to rock her. She knew she needed him, she couldn't get through this on her own. Ben would make it all better...


	5. Chapter 5

Lilly groaned and turned. Her stomach was so tight and her head was pounding. She wanted nothing more but to go back to sleep but she was so thirsty and the baby was kicking and squirming so much it was upsetting her stomach.

"Ben?" She pushed herself into a sitting position with great difficulty and was surprised to find her husband's side of the bed empty. "Ben?" She called again, assuming he was in the bathroom. "Can you bring me a glass of water back with you?" She sat back and rubbed her stomach, the kicking was beginning to be painful.

She waited for a while for a reply before she eased her legs out of bed, grabbed her robe and went in search of her husband. After checking their bathroom she drew the curtains back half expecting to find him helping her father with the animals but it was too early for the morning chores judging by the soft glow of dawn and the smattering of stars in the sky.

Perhaps he'd gone down to the kitchen for a drink Lilly thought and decided that, now she was awake, she would join him.

She made her way out of the room and down the corridor, gently massaging the growing ache in her stomach as she did. She was just about to go down the stairs when she heard soft talking coming from her sister's room.

"You are so strong, Cara. You are amazing."

Was that her husband's voice?

"You are amazing too."

That was _definitely_ Cara's voice!

Lilly stood at the doorway to Cara's room, her heart pounding in her chest. With a shaking hand she slowly pushed the door open...

"W-what..." she stuttered in shock at the sight of her husband embracing her sister! "Oh m-my..."

"Lilly! It's not what you think!"

She watched as Ben pushed Cara out of his arms and reached out to her.

"G-go," she stammered. Her knees were weak and she felt light-headed and nauseous. What was her sister doing in her husband's arms?

"Ben is right Lilly; it's not what you think!" Cara interjected.

"G-go..."

"Please, Lillyput. Let me explain."

Lilly could feel Ben's hand on her arm and she shook it off in disgust. "J-just GO!" She cried.

"No Lilly, there is a perfect explanation. Cara is not well..."

"I do not want to hear!" Lilly placed her hands over her ears. "Just go. I do not want you here."

"You're being silly..."

"GO!" Lilly screamed. "Just go! I do not want you here!"

Xxx

"Just go! I do not want you here!"

Ben reached for his wife again. "Please calm down," he begged, feeling her shaking in anger under his touch. "Cara has been sick and I was only helping her," he tried to explain but Lilly was opening crying and shaking her head.

"You think I'm stupid! You both think I'm stupid..."

"No, you're wrong."

"I _saw_ you!"

"You saw me giving Cara some comfort because she is unwell."

"No, no...I heard you whispering." Lilly pulled away even further. "You were whispering, telling each over how amazing you are! You do not say those things to each other. You are my husband, Benjamin and you are my sister, Cara. You do not say such things to each other."

"Believe me you've got it all wrong Lilly." Ben was torn; he'd promised to keep Cara's confidence but understood how things looked to his wife. He turned to Cara for some sort of support but found her crying and shaking and knew that she could not help. Crossing to her bed, he picked up her wrist. "Everything is going to be okay. You have to calm down, Cara," he urged, feeling a rapid pulse under his fingers. "Take some deep breaths..."

"_She_ needs to calm down?" He heard Lilly yell. "_She_ needs to calm down? What about me? I am your wife!"

He took a deep breath and then turned his head. "And Cara is my patient," he kept his voice low and measured.

A stunned silence enveloped the room as Cara tried desperately to control her breathing and Lilly began to pace. Ben knew the whole situation was so wrong but was helpless to know what to do for the best as he was caught in the middle.

"I want you to leave." Eventually Lilly's soft admission broke the silence. "I will pack your bag while you tend your patient, Platon Ashton."

Ben turned his head and addressed his wife again. "Please Lilly. I promise you, nothing happened, I'm just trying to help," he sighed.

"I do not think I believe you," Lilly shrugged. "I cannot have you here; I need you to give me some space."

"Lilly..."

"I have made my decision. I will pack your bag. I need to be alone." Lilly turned and left the room leaving a shocked Ben and Cara staring after her.

"I-I am s-so s-sorry," Cara stuttered after a while, violently shivering again.

"It's not your fault," Ben grabbed a blanket and tucked it round her shaking shoulders. "Lilly will be fine in a day or so," he tried to smile. "I'm more concerned about you at the moment. You need to rest Cara." He helped her lie back down again. "Try and sleep, I'll go and talk to Lilly. Everything will be all right, you'll see." He pulled the quilt up over her shoulders and dimmed her lamp again.

After Cara's breathing eased and she closed her eyes, he went in search of his wife, patient number two on his round list.

What a mess.

Xxx

Ben stood in the bedroom doorway and watched as Lilly threw his clothes into a small bag. His heart sank when she turned her head and glared at him. He could tell by the set of her jaw and her frantic motion that she was deathly serious about him leaving.

"So, how is your patient?" Lilly spat as she turned and threw his shoes in his direction.

Ben caught one and then bent down and grabbed the other from the floor where it landed. "She's sleeping again," he stated softly.

"Good. I am glad." Lilly threw his pants over. "That is the most important thing," she hissed at him with more than a hint of sarcasm. "As long as your patient is fine, Platon Ashton." A shirt winged its way across the room. "Then everything must be okay. I mean..."

"Lilly. Don't," Ben muttered.

Lilly stopped in her tracks, turned to face him and crossed her arms. "Don't what, Benjamin?" She glared, her face flushed in anger. "Why _don't_ you tell me? I am listening. What were you and Cara doing?"

Ben sighed and hung his head. He knew he couldn't break patient confidentiality, he'd promised. "I can't tell you Lils, you just have to trust me on this one," he glanced up and smiled sadly.

"I do not think I can trust you, not right now. If you cannot tell me what was going on then I cannot trust you."

"I would if I could, but I can't. I made a promise."

Lilly started to pace again. "You made a promise to _me_, Benjamin. On our wedding day! You promised to love me, to be faithful to me..."

"I do love you, I am faithful to you, Lilly."

Lilly stopped again and turned to face him. "I found you whispering words of affection to my sister as you embraced her in bed. From where I stood that was not being faithful!"

"There is an innocent explanation."

"Then tell me! Tell me why Cara was so sick that you needed to hug her? I do not see you hugging other patients. What is wrong with her?"

"I can't tell you. I promised."

"If you cannot tell me, if you are unwilling to tell me then I want you to leave." Lilly returned to her packing. "I cannot cope with all this now. I am sick, tired and just want to concentrate on the baby. My mother will guide me, per Mandanan custom. You are to take a back seat as all Mandanan men do while their women give birth. "She buckled up the holdall and held it out to Ben. "We will inform you when the baby arrives," she stated, wiping away a tear that began to fall. "We will talk and sort things out then," she nodded curtly.

"Lilly, please, this is silly..."

"Please Ben. I cannot deal with this, not now, I'm too tired. If you love me, you will give me some space. Let me gather my thoughts while you gather yours. I cannot cope with all this, I need you to leave."

Tears poured down her face as she struggled to control her emotions. "It is for the best," she managed to smile. "I promise."

Ben shook his head but took the bag, knowing that if he protested anymore it would add to Lilly's stress. "I'll return home for a few days," he sighed. "But, I promise you, nothing happened and I love you very much."

"And I love you," Lilly sniffed, "but I need to be alone," she turned her back and stared out of the window, ending the discussion.

Ben felt tears spring into his eyes as he cleared his throat and backed out of the room. As he closed the door behind him, he heard Lilly begin so sob and wanted no more than to return to her side, hold her, caress her, and assure her that everything was going to be fine but he couldn't. He had promised Cara that he would not tell her family and he couldn't betray her trust.

Xxx

Lilly stood in the window, tears still pouring down her face and watched as Ben urged Hector down the dirt track before turning and smiling sadly at her. Her heart was breaking.

She was at a loss to know what to think, what to do, her life had been tipped upside down. Nothing made sense anymore. What was Ben thinking? What was Cara thinking? What hurt most of all was that her husband wouldn't tell her what was going on. If Cara was unwell then she would understand that he would naturally offer her comfort but why wouldn't he tell her what was wrong?

She wanted to march into Cara's room and demand to know, but her head was pounding and her knees were weak. She was so, so tired and knew she was in no fit state to confront her sister at the moment.

So- she lowered her aching body onto the window seat, rested her head against the window and traced the receding outline of the cart as she watched her whole world begin to disappear over the hill.

Nothing made sense and she was devastated.

Xxx

"I need to check on Lilly," Hanah turned from the window. She and Sergi had been woken by raised voices and slamming doors. She'd urged Sergi to go and see what was wrong but he'd insisted that they should keep out, it was not their business, but now that Ben had obviously left the house, Hanah's concern was for her daughter.

She grabbed her dressing gown off of the end of her bed. "I do not understand why Benjamin has gone," she stated, plunging her feet into her slippers.

"Perhaps he has gone to fetch something," Sergi shrugged as he began to dress.

"What, with a packed bag?"

Sergi pulled on a shirt and crossed to Hanah's side "I am sure there is an innocent explanation," he smiled and rubbed her arm.

"You heard the raised voices, Sergi. Something is wrong." Hanah tied her robe around her and made her way out of the room. "I think you'd best check on Cara," she suggested as she went. "Something has happened."

Sergi shook his head as Hanah closed the door behind her. He'd forgotten what it was like to share a house with three hormonal women. He sat on the bed and tied his shoes, ready to do battle.


	6. Chapter 6

"Lilly?" Hanah knocked softly on her eldest daughter's door.

"Go away, ma." She sighed at Lilly's soft reply.

"Please Lilly," she persevered. "Let me come in. We watched Benjamin leave."

"I d-don't w-want to t-talk, ma. N-not n-now."

Hanah could hear the devastation in Lilly's voice. "You don't have to tell me what happened, my love. I just want to check that you are okay." She leaned her head against the door, listening to the soft sobs coming from the room. "Please Lilly. I just want to make sure you're okay. You can talk when and if you are ready." She tentatively opened the door and poked her head round. "Lilly, I 'm just going to help you back into bed," she said as she took in the sight of Lilly shivering and shaking on the window seat and smiled tenderly when Lilly turned and nodded her permission.

Hanah hurried to her side, snagging a blanket on her way past. She tenderly tucked it round Lilly's shaking shoulders and brushed away her tears. "It's okay, sweetheart. I promise," she soothed as she helped her to her feet and steered her toward the bed.

"Let's getting you lying down," she urged, gently helping her into bed.

Lilly immediately curled up on her side and allowed her mother to tuck her in. She felt extremely light headed and nauseous. Her head was pounding still and she was so cold. She knew the signs of shock very well and was very grateful for the extra blanket her mother added.

"What can I do?"

Lilly was then aware of Hanah sitting at her side and carding her fingers through her hair. She wanted to respond but her body was crashing and crashing hard. She buried her aching head into her covers. "Nothing," she mumbled.

"Lilly, please, I want to help."

"Not now, ma," Lilly sighed, fresh tears falling silently down her face. "I c-can't d-deal now. I'm t-to t-tired," she relaxed under her mother's gentle touch and welcomed the blanket of sleep as it shut out the world.

She gave into her exhaustion, knowing her mother was at her side.

Xxx

Hanah stood in Cara's doorway, watching Sergi tenderly stroking their youngest daughter's hair very much like she'd comforted their eldest daughter.

She tip-toed to his side and rested a hand on his shoulder. "How is she?" She asked, noting that like Lilly, Cara was fast asleep.

"She said she was tired," Sergi shrugged, turned his head and flashed a tight smile.

"Same as Lilly," Hanah sighed as she leant down and adjusted Cara's covers. "Did she say what was wrong?" She asked, sitting at her husband's side.

"She said she did not feel well and did not want to talk about it," Sergi squeezed Hanah's hand. "How's Lilly?"

"About the same," Hanah shook her head slowly. "She was very upset but wouldn't tell me what was wrong. She's sleeping now but does not look at all well," she turned her head to face her husband. "I am so worried about both of them," she sadly admitted.

"I know," Sergi agreed, bringing his hand up to caress his wife's cheek. "I'll go after Benjamin, see if he will enlighten me why our daughters are so upset."

"Thank you," Hanah rested her head on her husband's strong shoulder. "I'll watch over our girls," she sighed softly. "I hate to see them hurting."

Sergi pulled her in for a hug and gently kissed the top of her head. "I'll tend to the animals and then be on my way. Give Benjamin a bit of space first. I'm sure he needs to clear his head."

"He will have returned to the cottage," Hanah leaned into Sergi's embrace.

"I know," Sergi rocked her slightly as the both watched Cara groan and then turn in bed. "Things will turn out for the best," he stated, confidently. "I have faith," he added softly.

"I do hope so," Hanah nodded her head sadly. "I am unsure that we can help our girls if it does not," she sighed.

She knew that Sergi felt as helpless as she did. They needed to get to the bottom of all this.

Xxx

"Ben?" Niall looked up from his work when he heard the sound of hoofs trotting down the lane. He stabbed his pitchfork into the mound of hay and jogged to meet his friend.

"Is everything okay?" He asked, grabbing Hector's reins and helping Ben bring the horse to a halt. He looked at his friends and noted his red-rimmed eyes, he'd obviously been crying. "Ben? What's wrong?" He asked as he tied Hector to the horse rail.

"Nothing." Ben clambered out to the cart and grabbed his bag. "Everything is just fine!" He snapped as strode toward the cottage.

Niall hurried after him. "I can see you're upset," he said as he limped to his side. "Is it Lilly? Is she alright?" He followed Ben as he made his way into the kitchen.

"Oh, Lilly is fine, just fine," Ben spat, throwing his bag into the corner of the kitchen. "She needed space," he shrugged angrily. "So I'm giving her space."

Ben laid his hand on his friend's shoulder. "What's happened Benny?" He asked gently.

Ben shrugged his hand off. "Nothing, everything's hunky dory," he stated curtly.

"Benny, come on..." Niall followed as Ben turned and stomped out of the kitchen.

"Just leave it, Niall!" Ben shouted but then checked his tone, knowing that none of it was his friend's fault. "Just leave me alone for a while, buddy," he urged in a softer tone. "I just need to clear my head," he added as he tried to smile reassuringly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Ni, don't worry."

Niall watched as Ben's head dropped before he turned and climbed the stairs two at a time.

Something awful must have happened, as it was not like his friend to be so upset. He just hoped that Ben and Lilly were okay. They were the closest couple he knew, if something had happened to cause them to separate then it must be very serious, very serious indeed.

Xxx

Lilly groaned into her pillow as she tried to contain the pain.

She'd managed to sleep for a while but cramping pain in her stomach woke her. Curling round her stomach, she stroked her bump, feeling tight skin under her fingers. The pain was getting more and more uncomfortable so she tried to ease herself into another position, hoping to get some relief. The morning sun was now blazing through the window and she felt uncomfortably hot so she kicked her covers off, leaned her head back onto her pillows and lowered her breathing rate to cope with the cramps.

Eventually the pain lessoned and Lilly sighed with relief. She inched to the side of the bed and reached for the water pitcher. She was so thirsty and hot. She drank greedily before resting back in bed, head pounding and feeling very shaky.

"Settle down, Bumba," she urged softly as she stroked her stomach again. "Mamma is so tired." She wiped the sweat off her face and fanned her gown. The heat of the day was growing by the minute and, if she'd had the strength, she'd open the window but she felt so weak and exhausted. Her heart raced and her pulse echoed loudly in her ears. She needed more sleep.

Closing her eyes again, she began to drift.

Xxx

"Hey," Hanah glanced up and smiled at Cara as she entered the kitchen. "How are you feeling sweetheart?" She asked as Cara crossed to the sink and pumped some water into a cup.

"Better," Cara mumbled after draining the water.

"Come and sit with me, Cara," Hanah urged as pushed a chair back, offering her daughter a seat. "We need to talk."

Cara sighed deeply but obeyed her mother. "I don't want to talk about it ma." She sat and fiddled with a knife.

"You sound like your sister," Hanah shrugged and returned to her vegetable preparation. "She is giving us the silent treatment too."

Cara leaned her head on her hands. She felt better this morning, the nausea and pain were gone. Physically she felt normal but mentally she was in bits. "I was just sick ma and Ben comforted me," she shrugged and closed her eyes.

"Is that what the raised voices were about?" Hanah tossed a potato into the pot.

"Lilly misread the situation. Ben was offering me comfort that was all."

"How was he offering you comfort, child?"

"We hugged."

"And Lilly walked in?"

"Yes," Cara opened her eyes and smiled sadly. "It was all innocent but Lilly couldn't see it."

Hanah tutted, "I am not surprise," she said, reaching for a carrot. "You sister is in a very delicate condition at the moment, her hormones are all over the place and any little thing can upset her," she threw the carrot in the pot. "You and Benjamin should have been more considerate..."

Cara could feel tears spring in her eyes. She wanted to yell 'what about me? What about consideration for me!' But she knew she couldn't. "We didn't mean to hurt her," she sniffed and wiped her eyes.

"Well, I am sorry to say you have, my love," Hanah placed her knife down and covered Cara's hand with her own. "She is very upset."

Cara was blinking fast, trying desperately to stop the flow of tears but she was helpless to prevent them. "I'm so sorry," she sobbed. "We didn't mean to hurt her," she repeated and Hanah quickly gathered her in her arms.

"I know you didn't," she soothed as she rocked her gently. "And Lilly knows too, deep down, but it's not a good time for her at the moment. She is so tired and has had enough. Things will be much better when this baby is born."

Cara's heart clenched at the mention of the baby and she struggled to contain her emotions. She wanted to tell her mother, she longed for her mother to tell her that everything was going to be all right, that she'd done the right thing, but she was so scared.

"Hey, hey, Cara," Hanah soothed. "It's okay," she continued her rocking motion as Cara continued to cry in her arms.

"But Ben left," Cara sobbed.

"And he will be back."

"Lilly will never f-forgive m-me..."

"Of course she will. She knows Benjamin loves her. Things will work out."

"I don't k-know w-what to d-do m-ma," Cara stuttered and pulled out of her mother's arms. "How can I convince her that she's got it all wrong?"

Hanah pulled her handkerchief out of her sleeve and dapped at her tears. "You need to go and talk to her my love, she'll understand, I am sure. Your father has gone to talk to Benjamin and I am confident that, come supper time we will all be sat round this table laughing about the whole situation."

Cara took a shaky breath and tried to return the smile her mother gave her. "I am so sorry, ma," she sighed and wiped her eyes.

"You have nothing to be sorry about, child. Go and talk to your sister. Everything will be just fine."

Cara pulled her mother in for a hug. "I love y-you m-ma," she stuttered, squeezing her as hard as she could.

"And I you," Hanah replied and returned the hug. "Are you sure you're okay, Cara?" She asked as she rubbed her daughters back. It was so unlike Cara to be so emotional.

Cara pulled away again. "I'm fine, ma," she nodded and then cleared her throat. "I'll just go and see Lilly," she said as she crossed to the door where she turned and smiled at her mother. "I am sure you are right ma, things will be better soon," she added as confidently as she could.

She closed the door behind her and rested her head against the frame. She needed to calm down and compose herself before she saw Lilly.

This was not going to be easy.

Xxx

Lilly lay on her side, crying softly. She couldn't rest though her body scream for it. The cramps were back and growing in intensity. Stress wasn't a good thing when you were heavily pregnant and her Bumba was not at all happy.

"It's okay, it's okay," she soothed as she continued to rub circles on her stomach. "I know you're not happy that we argued but, your pa will be back soon, I promise," she began to rock gently, hoping to sooth her unborn child and desperate to find some relief from the pain.

Sweat drenched her body and nausea rolled in her stomach. The heat of the room was stifling and, when the pain lessoned enough for her to take some deep breaths; she struggled upright and managed to ease out of bed. Shaking legs took her into the bathroom where she pumped some water into the sink and splashed her hot face with a few handfuls. She dabbed her face dry and stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked awful. Black blotches framed sunken, puffy, red eyes, her hair was matted with sweat and her hands shook.

Turning to the side, she rubbed her stomach and sighed. The bump looked too big for her frame and her gown stuck to her skin, accentuating her size. All in all she looked and felt dreadful. No wonder her husband had turned to her sister. Her appearance must have revolted him.

Lilly pulled back her hair and reached for a ribbon. She ran her fingers through her curls in an effort to tame them before tying them back in a ponytail. The sight of straggles of red hair, poking out of what she hoped would be a neater style signalled the return of tears. She snatched the ribbon out of her hair and grabbed her brush.

"I'm sorry Ben, I'm sorry," she sobbed as she drew the brush through her knotted curls. "It's all my fault, all my fault..."

She frantically brushed and brushed her hair, tears streaming down her face. No wonder Ben had turned to Cara she was a mess.


	7. Chapter 7

"Where is he now?" Sergi accepted a cup of tea off Niall. He'd arrived at the cottage expecting to be greeted by his son in law but Niall had informed him that Ben didn't want to be disturbed by anyone.

"He was very upset when he arrived," Niall started to explain as he and Sergi took a seat at the table. "He wouldn't tell me what was wrong or what had happened, he just dumped his things and went upstairs," he paused and took a sip of his tea. "I gave him some space but I got worried and tried to talk to him but he just lay on the bed and wouldn't respond. I hoped to reason with him but he shut me out and told me he didn't want to talk to anyone and just wanted to be alone."

"How long has he been up there?" Sergi stirred his tea as he tried to figure out how to handle things.

"Ages now, a couple of hours at least. I thought he was sleeping but I could hear him crying when I checked on him a few minutes ago. He wouldn't accept any comfort so I left him to it," Niall shrugged and then placed his cup down with a heavy sigh. "What's happened, Sergi?" He asked. "Why is he so upset? Is there something wrong with Lilly?"

Sergi continued to stir and shook his head. "Lilly is fine," he glanced up and smiled. "Well, not fine but as well as she can be under the circumstances," he corrected. Sitting up straighter, he cleared his throat before continuing. "All I know is that there was some sort of altercation between Lilly, Benjamin and Cara. Hanah is talking to the girls and I've been sent to sort young Benjamin out," he smiled. "I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding but the girls are very upset."

"As is Benny."

"Yes, of course," Sergi nodded sadly. "Lilly's emotions are all over the place, as you can imagine and I am not sure she is thinking straight. I am afraid that her husband took the brunt of it and I am here to assure him that things will all be well soon."

"I am not so sure about that. I have never seen Ben so devastated."

"And I have never seen my girls so devastated either," Sergi agreed. "There must be something we can do to rectify this misunderstanding. Those two are meant to be together and their baby's birth is only weeks away," he glanced up and smiled sadly. "They need each other."

Niall nodded slowly. "I know," he sighed. "Let's give him a while longer and then see if we can sort this out together, okay?"

Sergi raised his cup in salute. "Sounds a good idea," he smiled.

Niall lifted his own cup and touched it to Sergi's. "Let's plot our strategy," he grinned.

"Absolutely!"

They needed to tread softly as they were not sure of the facts surrounding the situation but there was no way they were going to sit back and allow Ben and Lilly throw away their happiness on what appeared to be an innocent misunderstanding.

Xxx

Lilly rested both hands on the rim of the sink and hung her head. She rocked as she desperately tried to stay in control. Her pain had returned and she was struggling to catch her breath.

This couldn't be happening now. It was not time.

"Please, please," she mumbled as she rocked. "It's too early."

She wasn't stupid. She was a Platon. She knew the signs of labour very well. The pains were regular now, coming closer together and increasing in intensity.

"Umm..." She bit her bottom lip and groaned. "N-no..." Panting in both exhaustion and pain, she began to sway from side to side, sweat dripping from her forehead onto the floor. She really didn't know what to do with herself, the pain was a tight band round her abdomen and her back felt as if was a knife in it. Her mother had told her how painful childbirth was and she'd seen, first hand, others going through it but she was surprised how much it hurt.

"O-okay, o-okay," she stuttered when the pain began to lesson. "Better, better," she rested her head against the cool sink rim. "That's better," she let out a deep sigh and struggled upright, reaching for a cloth to wipe her brow with. She swayed as she took some calming breaths before she dragged the cloth across her face and back of her neck. Knowing that she had a window of calm, she then made her way back into the bedroom and, with very shaky hands, she poured herself a glass of water.

She was just about to call for her mother when there was a soft knock at the door.

"Lilly? Can I come in? We need to talk."

She couldn't deal with Cara now. She just couldn't.

"Go away Cara," she replied softly as she inched down the bed before resting back on her pillows.

"Please Lilly; I need to explain things to you."

Lilly licked her dry lips and ran her fingers through her sweat soaked hair. "It's not a good time," she mumbled, exhaustion hitting her hard.

"Lilly?"

She began to drift as Cara knocked again. She was feeling completely drained and knew she needed to rest between contractions. Giving birth was difficult for the healthiest woman but she knew that, because of her condition, she was weak and needed to regain her strength while she could.

"I'm coming in."

"No..."

As the door clicked open, she struggled to open her eyes and tried to sit up straighter, ready to do battle with her sister.

"Cara, not now," she said, pulling her gown together as Cara entered the room. "I need to sleep," she complained and hoped her sister got the message.

"You look awful, Lilly." Cara was at her side in a flash, her hand immediately going to her forehead.

"I'm fine," Lilly huffed, batting the hand away. "I do not need your help," she snapped in irritation. The last thing she needed right now was Cara fussing over her.

"Don't be silly you're not well," Cara persisted. "I'm going to fetch ma..."

"Just leave me alone!" Lilly cried. "I do not want you here. You do not belong in my life anymore!"

"Lilly please..." Cara begged. "You do not understand what happened..."

"I understand perfectly!" Lilly struggled up straighter. "My husband found comfort in your arms and you allowed it."

"It wasn't like that..."

"Then tell me, what was it like because, you're right, I don't understand. I don't understand what I saw!" Lilly was shaking in rage, all thoughts of rest forgotten.

"I-it...I-it..." Cara spluttered, hanging her head in shame.

"Yes?" Lilly persisted sharply.

"S-something h-happened..."

"Yes I saw. You and my husband, in your bedroom, in your bed! How could you Cara? I'm your sister!"

"No-no y-you've g-got I-it a-all w-wrong."

"Then tell me! I want to know!" Lilly was breathing so heavily that the room was beginning to dim at the edges. She leaned her head back on her pillow and closed her eyes. "I cannot cope with it anymore, not now, I'm exhausted," she panted as she tried to control her world, knowing anymore arguing would just tip her over the edge and she wasn't strong enough to cope with that as well as giving birth . "I just cannot. Please just go away."

"Edward forced himself on me."

Cara's confession was so soft that Lilly barely heard her

"What?" She asked as she rubbed a shaky hand across her face. "What did you say?"

Cara looked up at her with tears streaming down her face. "Ben helped me. Edward forced himself on me, s-sexually. I-I d-did n-not k-know what to d-do. Ben t-took me to t-the r-ring. J-janet gave me some m-medication to p-prevent a p-pregnancy," she was opening sobbing now. "It m-made m-me sick and Ben w-was h-helping me."

Lilly sat; slack jawed in shock as her sister poured her heart out.

"Oh- God, Car, no..."

"He was so w-wonderful Lil. I b-begged him not to tell a-anyone. He p-promised. He p-promised. I am so sorry, so very sorry."

Lilly watched as Cara curled in on herself and began to cry. "Come here," she opened her arms and Cara willingly fell into her embrace. "Why didn't tell me before?" Lilly rocked her gently, grateful herself for her sisters support.

"Because I am so a-ashamed..."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of, nothing. It was not your fault, understand, not your fault."

"I feel so dirty," Cara, continued to cry uncontrollably. "I s-said n-no b-but he hurt m-me s-so m-much."

"I'm so sorry..."

"It was not Ben's f-fault. I b-begged h-him n-not to t-tell a-anyone."

"I know, I know," Lilly's heart broke for her sister and she felt so awful for doubting Ben.

She just wanted to hold Cara and reassure her that everything was going to be all right but as she continued to rock, she felt the familiar cramping of her next contraction. "It's going to be just fine, Cara," she continued to sooth through gritted teeth. "I promise," she grunted and then couldn't help crying out when the pain became too much. She shifted weakly and tried to curl round the agony.

Cara immediately pulled out of her arms. "Lilly?" She sniffed and wiped away her tears. "God, Lilly, what's wrong?"

Lilly began writhing from side to side, struggling desperately against the agony. "T-the b-baby," she managed to stutter. "It h-hurts. T-the b-baby's c-coming," she groaned and turned her head into her pillow.

"I'll get ma."

Cara's urgent statement sounded a long way in the distance as Lilly continued to groan and writhe, the pain growing and growing.

She needed her mother so much, actually she needed Ben even more. He should be here, she needed him here.

Xxx

"I promised Cara I would not tell you..." Ben pleaded. "Where is he?" Sergi demanded. Ben watched as Sergi sat gripping the arms of his chair, his knuckles turning white with the pressure.

"I don't know. Honestly, I don't know," he stated as Sergi pushed out of the chair and crossed to the balcony. "My priority was Cara. She was in bad shape. I had to take care of her."

Ben had capitulated and told his father in law the truth after Sergi became upset and begged him to return to Lilly. He found he had no reply when Sergi had convinced him that nothing could be so bad that it came between husband and wife at this important time. Ben had immediately felt guilty. Lilly was the most important thing in this and any other world. Cara's problem was exactly that, her problem. Of course, he could support her, sympathise with her but he was too close to her to be professional enough to be her Platon. It was not fair to any of them, most of all to Lilly, she was the innocent party in all this and Ben figured that Sergi was more than capable of dealing with Cara and Edward. He was now beginning to question his judgement though. Sergi had withdrawn at the news. His speech was clipped, measured and calculating and Ben was worried about what was going to happen next.

He stood and joined his father in law on the balcony. "You're not thinking of going after him are you?" He questioned softly. "Because I don't think revenge is the right path at the moment."

Sergi gripped the railings and turned his head. "So, what do you think is the right path, Benjamin?" He snapped harshly. "He abused my daughter! He ruined her! What do you suggest I do, tell me that?"

"She is not ruined," Ben kept the tone of his voice calm. "Of course what he did was wrong, very wrong, but seeking revenge is not the way, I assure you."

Sergi pushed away from the railing. "I disagree," he shrugged. "I totally disagree. He should know what he's done, how he's hurt her. My daughter has had her innocence taken from her by force, not by love, and that is not acceptable. He needs to pay for what he has done."

"Going over there and confronting him is not the right way to handle this. There are other ways."

"Such as?" Sergi began to pace. "You tell me that, young Benjamin because this is the way we deal with wrongs on Mandana."

"Are you saying that the only way of keeping law and order on this planet is through violence?" Ben threw his hands in the air in despair. "Because you're wrong, there are other ways," he repeated.

"Such as?" Sergi shrugged as he too repeated his statement. He was growing increasingly irritated by Ben's attitude. "What do you do on Earth, tell me that?"

"We talk..."

"Talk?"

"Yes, we have a judge, someone impartial who looks at all the facts before handing out a punishment. It is fair to all concerned."

"Well, it is not fair to my daughter. He took her, without her consent, and violated her. His actions are beyond reproach and his family needs to understand what sort of man they have raised." He turned abruptly and grabbed his coat. "This is the way we do things on this planet," he stated as he pushed past Ben. "I will shame him and have my revenge."

Ben sighed heavily and then grabbed his own coat. "If you're going to do this, then I'll come with you," he groaned in defeat and turned to follow Sergi out of the room. He paused when he reached Niall, who was observing everything from the bed, snagged his arm and pulled him to the side.

"You'd best go tell Cara what's happened. She needs to prepare herself for her father's return," he advised. "Tell her not to worry, it'll be okay," he added and hurried after his father in law.

Law and order was something else that needed examination on Mandana.

Xxx

"Lilly. Listen to me. You have to try and control your breathing."

Lilly was literally rolling on the bed in agony with her mother at her side trying desperately to calm her. She'd been in strong labour for nearly two hours now and was struggling to cope. Her contractions were coming hard and fast and Hanah was worried about how she was reacting to the pain. She dipped her cloth into the water again and began to dab Lilly's face, an action that was proving to be difficult as Lilly tossed her head from side to side.

"Honey, you have to try and calm down," she urged and felt Lilly grab her hand and grip it so hard that it was painful.

"It h-hurts so m-much," she cried, her back arching in pain.

"I know, I know," Hanah soothed. "Just try and breathe with me," she urged. "In and out, in and out." She watched as Lilly stared at her, her eyes fixed on the far side of the room in concentration.

"That's it," Hanah praised when Lilly started to pant in time with her. "In and out, in and out. You're doing great," she mopped Lilly's brow, happy to note that she was beginning to relax slightly as the contractions decreased. She rested her hand on Lilly's stomach and felt it softening and when Lilly sighed and relaxed, she sat back with her own sigh of relief and turned to Cara

"Could you fetch me some fresh water and some towels?" She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ears. "We need to be ready for the next one," she watched as Cara immediately sprang off the bed and hurried to the bathroom.

"Okay, Lilly," she gave her eldest daughter her full attention. "How are you doing?" She asked as she returned to her task.

Lilly lay boneless on her back, her chest heaving in exertion. "I c-can't do t-this ma," she stuttered.

Hanah crawled onto the bed, rested her back against the headboard and gently eased her daughter into her arms. She glanced up and smiled at Cara when she placed the bowl of water at her side and accepted the cloth that Cara had soaked. "You are doing amazingly, isn't she, Cara" She praised as she mopped Lilly's brow again.

"You really are," Cara agreed and took Lilly's limp hand in hers. She tenderly kissed her palm and then reached and brushed the hair off of her forehead. "You are so strong Lilly," she sighed. "And you are going to be such a wonderful mother."

Lilly blinked slowly as her breathing returned to normal. She felt so weak but grateful for her mother and sister's support. "I'm so tired Car," she sighed.

"I know," Cara soothed, giving her hand a squeezed.

With great effort, Lilly turned her head so she could look up at her mother. "How much longer, ma," she asked, a single tear slowly falling down her cheek.

"When the baby is ready, it will appear," Hanah smiled softy. "These things take time, my love."

"I don't think I can do it. I'm so tired." Lilly's head flopped to the side and she closed her eyes. "I want Ben," she sighed. "I can't do it without him, I need him." She lay in her mother's arms and silently wept.

Hanah gently rocked her. "You will be just fine, I promise," she assured. "Just rest and regain your strength."

Cara tucked Lilly's hand under the covers. "Should I fetch Ben?" She asked as she watched Lilly succumb to her exhaustion.

"I think that would be a good idea," Hanah nodded in agreement. "She is going to need his strength to deliver this child," she admitted with regret. She wanted Lilly to enjoy an easy birth; her pregnancy had been so awful. Didn't she deserve a break?

Cara stood, leaned over and gently kissed the top of Lilly's head before giving her mother's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "I shall be as quick as I can, ma," she smiled sadly.

"Bless you," Hanah returned the smile. "We will be fine, won't we Lilly?"

Lilly's response to the question was a slow toss of her head and a mumble. Hanah tightened her hold as Cara ran out of the room.

"Hang in there, Lilly," she soothed. "You are doing just fine and it will all be over soon. Soon you will have your child in your arms and your life will be complete, I promise."

She sat back with Lilly peacefully lying in her arms until she felt her suddenly tense and let out a long pain filled groan. She placed her hand on her daughter's stomach and felt it begin to contract again.

"Okay, Lilly. I've got you. Here we go again. You can do this."

Xxx

"Sergi, please, you've got to calm down."

Sergi had the horse practically galloping down the lane as they sped to Edward's home.

"You will not be able to resolve the situation if you go in there like this." Ben gripped the sides of the buggy as they turned a sharp bend practically on two wheels.

"How do you suggest I go in there then, Benjamin?" Sergi yelled. "Edward has to understand t he severity of his actions!"

Ben sighed, then grabbed at one of the reigns and succeeded in slowing the horse down slightly. He ignored the glance of anger his father in law shot him. "You have to control your temper," he advised softly, feeling happier now that their pace had slowed to a leisurely trot. He turned to face Sergi. "If you allow your temper to get the best of you," he continued as he placed what he hoped was a reassuring hand on Sergi's knee. "...Edward will have won."

"How do you come to that conclusion?" Sergi sat back in his seat and allowed the horse to slow to a walk.

"Well, I think that Edward thrives on being in control," Ben began to explain, "and, if you go there out of control he'll think he has the upper hand."

"But he cannot get away with what he has done."

"I know that and he won't, I promise."

"He has hurt my family. No one gets away with hurting my family."

"I know," Ben agreed, nodding slowly, "but we have to find another way of punishment other than resorting to violence."

"There is no other way," Sergi shrugged. "That is how disagreements are dealt with on Mandana."

"That is not the right way. We need to find a peaceful way, one where no one gets hurt."

"I'm listening," Sergi turned his head and nodded curtly.

"Let me do the talking..." Ben paused when Sergi began to disagree. "You are too close to the situation, Sergi. Let me put my 'Platon' hat on. We are trained to be impartial. Let me find out Edward's side of the story."

"Well, we know what his side will be," Sergi huffed. "He forced my daughter."

"Please Sergi, let's at least try and do it my way. There are always two sides to everything. If we're not happy with his explanation then we'll reconsider our action."

Ben waited anxiously for Sergi's reaction. Mandana was a very different place from Earth, families lived in peace, doors were left unlocked and people helped people, they were not equipped to handle such gross misconduct.

"Okay. We'll give your way a try," Sergi finally capitulated, "but if I am not satisfied that justice is done, we will revert to the Mandana ways of old."

Ben sighed in relief and smiled. "Thank you," he gave his father in law's knee a quick squeeze. "I'm sure everything will turn out just fine."

"We will see," Sergi clicked his horse on again and Ben watched the countryside flash by as he collected his thoughts. He was going to need all his wits about him.

Xxx

Greta Quinn was under strict orders from his wife. He was to deliver some homemade potato soup to Lilly and stay to keep her company for a while. Greta's wife, Mari was still recovering from a mild stroke and was too frail to travel the distance to Gowton. She felt very out of touch with all her friends, especially since Lilly was forced to rest up during her pregnancy. The only way for her to keep tabs on the young Platon was through her husband and she made sure that he visited the Ashton's and the hospital as much as he could.

So, here Greta was, broth and rolls in a basket, rolling up the lane leading to the Tanger dwelling. He missed Lilly greatly. She had been his protégé for many years, working closely under his wing as she completed her Platon training. He was immensely proud of her and her husband. The progress Mandana had achieved in the medical field was due to the Ashton's hard work and dedication. Illnesses were now treated with positive outcomes whereas, before, many people died. The small population of Tanger province would be forever grateful for the Aston's and Earth's, perseverance.

He was really looking forward to spending some quality time with Lilly. She was a breath of fresh air to him and her friendship meant everything.

Clicking his horse on, he smiled to himself. It was a beautiful warm spring day and he had the afternoon ahead of him to converse with the special young lady.


	8. Chapter 8

"Cara?"

"Niall?"

Cara and Niall called their horses to a halt.

"Where's Ben?"

"I was just coming to see you."

Cara was half way to Lilly and Ben's cottage when she spotted Niall coming toward her. She'd forgotten how far it was to the cottage and was beginning to think that she wouldn't return with Ben in time for the birth of his child. She leaned forward to see Niall who was craning to see her too. "Lilly is giving birth. I need to find Ben."

She watched as Niall scrubbed a hand through his hair in frustration.

"He has gone with your father," he quickly informed her.

"Gone where?" Cara asked as she reined in her horse who was straining to continue.

"They have gone to confront Edward."

"What!"

"I'm sorry Cara. Your father knows everything. Ben had no choice but to tell him."

"Follow me!" Cara immediately urged her horse on. "We have to stop them!" She called over her shoulder as Niall turned his horse and cart.

She knew Edward had a nasty streak in him and she was frightened that someone would get hurt.

"On Clancy," she urged the horse and glanced behind her to make sure Niall was following.

Could this day get any worse?

Xxx

"Well done Lilly, you're doing so well." Hanah kept her hand on her daughter's stomach as her next contraction dissipated. "Try and control your breathing again," she urged as she then picked up her cloth once more and wiped it over Lilly's face.

Lilly was lying limp and panting in her arms again, desperately trying to regain control. The last hour had been a nightmare as her contractions increased, not only in strength but also in length. Hanah had never felt so helpless in her life and was praying for Ben's return.

"I'm just going to lay you down, sweetheart." She gently eased from behind her daughter and carefully lowered her head onto the pillows. Lilly was totally exhausted and lay limply on her back, her head turned to one side and her eyes fluttering shut.

Hanah reached down and tenderly brushed her hair out of her eyes. "Do you think you can drink some water, Lilly?"

When Lilly slowly shook her head in response, Hanah took her hand and in hers. "You have to try, sweetheart," she urged. "Just a little and then you can rest." She turned and grabbed the glass of water off the cabinet and then gently supported Lilly's head and she eventually managed to drink most of it.

After replacing the glass, she sat on the edge of the bed and continued to bathe Lilly's face and neck. "I'm so proud of you," she praised as she worked.

"I c-can't d-do it a-anymore. I've had e-enough." Lilly's admission was heart breaking. Hanah knew how exhausted she was but they had to keep going.

"Yes you can," she reassured. "You have to my love. This baby needs you to be strong."

"I n-need B-ben."

"Cara has gone to fetch him," Hanah smiled tenderly as she wiped Lilly's tears away. "He will not be long, I promise." She sat and soothed her daughter as her eyes began to close, she knew she had only a few minutes to regain some strength before her agony began again. Her own mother had told her that it was very hard to watch your child be in so much pain as they gave birth and she had been right. Hanah would give anything to be able to take Lilly's pain away, watching and waiting was tortuous.

"Ma?"

Lilly's soft mumble pulled her from her reminiscing.

"I f-feel s-sick..."

"Oh, Lilly," Hanah quickly turned her and supported her torso as she vomited into the water bowl. "Shh...Shh...It's going to be okay," she soothed and gently rubbing Lilly's back.

When Lilly began to sag in her arms, she gently laid her back down again and mopped her brow. "It's going to be okay," she repeated softly as Lilly closed her eyes with a sign. Hanah then sat and watched as she succumbed to sleep, thankful that she was finding some relief even though it would only be for a short while. She hummed an old Mandanan lullaby as she carded her fingers through her hair, stirrings memories of her own mother again. The hours she spent at her side as she gave birth to Lilly and Cara would always be fond ones for Hanah. She was fortunate that both her children's births had been relatively quick and joyous. Sergi had sat on the stairs at her parents' home waiting anxiously for the babies cry and they'd all sat around celebrating for many hours. Her mother had always seemed in total control of both births and Hanah was beginning to feel very inadequate as she felt totally out of her depth at the moment.

She just really needed someone to support her, to guide her and when the sound of horse's hoofs came from outside she quickly placed her cloth down and crossed to the window, hoping and praying that it was Cara returning with Ben. When she saw Greta hop down from his wagon, she knew he was the next best thing and, after checking that Lilly was resting comfortably, she raced to greet him.

Xxx

"Remember, let me do the talking," Ben reminded Sergi as they approached the Pollard's house. He took a deep breath before knocking on the door and exchanged confident glances with his father in law as they waited for it to open.

"Can I help you?"

Ben held his hand out to Thomas Pollard. "We are sorry to disturb you Mr Pollard but we are looking for Edward."

"He is not here," Thomas replied and shook Ben's hand firmly before turning his attention to Sergi. "And neither is Cara, Mr. Tanger, sir," he stated.

"Do you know when he will be returning?" Ben continued.

"I was under the impression that he was with Cara."

"My daughter is at home," Sergi's response was clipped and Ben watched as Thomas frowned and shook his head.

"Is there a problem?" He asked, his gaze going back and forth between Ben and Sergi.

"You could say that," Ben replied. "Would it be possible for us to come in and wait for Edward's return?"

"Of course," Thomas stood to one side and indicated that they could enter. "I do not know how long he will be but you are welcome to wait," he said as he closed the door behind them.

"We have plenty of time," Sergi smiled tightly as he wiped his feet on the entrance mat.

"Come," Thomas led the way down the hall. "I am sure my wife can find us some refreshments while we wait."

"Thank you," Ben nodded as they followed Thomas into the drawing room. He glanced at Sergi as they both took a seat and noted the serious look on his face.

This wasn't going to be easy.

Xxx

"The baby's heart beat is strong," Greta looked up and smiled. He'd been concerned about Lilly's condition and had immediately started to examine her. He crossed to the head of the bed and gently stroked Lilly's cheek.

"Lilly? Can you hear me sweetheart?" He smiled when Lilly turned her head and whispered his name.

"I'm just going to check how you're doing my love," he informed her as she closed her eyes again. "Is that okay?" He asked and waited for her slight nod of confirmation.

He returned to the bottom of the bed, covering Lilly with a thin sheet on his way. He looked over at Hanah. "Could you hold her legs?" He smiled as he eased Lilly's legs up so he could get in position.

Hanah crossed to his side and held Lilly's legs steady, keeping her eye on her daughter as Greta began his examination. The fact that Lilly barely reacted at all really worried her.

"Okay, young lady, let's see how things are coming along," Greta mumbled to himself as he worked. He too had one eye on Lilly's reaction but she lay limply and allowed him to do his job. She was obviously very weak indeed and as Greta calculated his findings, his heart sank.

"Okay, you can lower her legs now," he sighed, snapping off his gloves.

"Well?" Hanah asked as she tucked Lilly in again.

"She is barely half way there," Greta admitted sadly.

"You are not serious?" Hanah couldn't believe it. Lilly had been in strong labour for hours now, she'd assumed that Greta was going to tell her that it was time to start pushing.

"She has some way to go I am afraid," Greta smiled sadly and pulled Lilly's sheet down again so to get better access to her abdomen. He gently palpated her stomach, checking on the position of the baby and Lilly groaned in response.

"I will not be long, Lilly," he promised as he applied more pressure. "Okay, that's the baby's head," he mumbled. "Head is engaged nicely. Okay..." he moved his hands higher, "what have we here?" He mused, jostling the baby slightly and Lilly's head lolled from side to side as she continued to groan. "Ah, there is your problem," he sighed.

"Is the baby breech?" Hanah asked urgently.

"No," Greta covered Lilly up again. "The baby is posterior."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning that it is facing the wrong way. It will be born face up," he sighed.

"Will that be a problem?"

"Not really but it's going to be hard work for Lilly. Posterior births are known to be long and difficult I'm afraid."

"Can you not change the position? She is so very weak," Hanah wiped Lilly's face when she began to move restlessly.

"The head is engaged. There is nothing I can do." Greta sat on the bed and placed his hand on Lilly's stomach. "Okay, here we go again," he sighed when he felt the beginning tension of a contraction.

Hanah took Lilly's hand in hers. "Hold tight Lilly," she said and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"N-no m-more. N-o m-more," Lilly started to mumble as she tossed her head from side to side.

"Easy, easy, Lilly," Greta urged gently.

"I c-can't Quinny," Lilly sobbed.

"Yes you can." Greta moved to her head. "You can do this, child, I promise you can."

Lilly's body was in constant motion as she began to writhe on the bed. "I c-cant, I c-cant," she cried. "It h-hurts s-so m-much. W-where's B-ben?"

"On his way," Hanah dabbed her brow.

"G-get i-it o-out!" Lilly screamed.

"Listen to me Lilly," Greta's tone was stern. "I'm going to get you sitting up..."

"N-no, n-no – it h-hurts..."

"I know but you'll be much better if you try another position, come on." He nodded at Hanah who then grabbed Lilly under the arm and, between them, they managed to get her sitting up. Her head immediately lolled on Greta's shoulder as she panted and grunted in agony.

"You're doing brilliantly," Greta praised and rubbed her lower back. "Is this helping?" He asked, knowing that a posterior labour caused terrible back pain.

"Y-yes," Lilly stuttered and Hanah's hand joined the massage.

They sat in this position as Lilly battled the contraction, which seemed to go on for hours and they sighed in relief when she finally started to go limp in their arms.

"We'll just give you a minute or so," Greta gently rocked Lilly as her breathing slowed, "and then I want you to get out of bed, Lilly."

"I can't, I can't," Lilly's head lolled on his shoulder. "Please Quinny, I'm too tired."

"I know you are child, but I think a change of scenery and clothing will make you feel so much better and the gravity will help the baby."

"No, please, I just want to sleep."

"Take some deep breaths," Greta urged gently and then nodded at Hanah again. "We'll take this nice and slow, I promise," they carefully eased her to the side of the bed.

"I c-can't," Lilly hung her head between her shoulders. "Too tired."

"Okay, on three Hanah. One, two, three." They helped her to her feet where she swayed in their hold. "Let's get you comfy," Greta said and guided her over to the window seat.

"You can watch the world go by," Hanah smiled, knelling at Lilly's side as she shakily sank into the seat.

"I'm just going to fetch some warm water," Greta patted Lilly's shoulder, "and your mother can give you a nice bath before we change you into one of Janet's lovely backless hospital gowns," he grinned.

"Uh huh," Lilly leaned back in the chair and closed her eyes, her hands continually stroking her stomach.

Greta could see how totally exhausted she was and knew he'd have to get things arranged quickly. "While you have your bath, I'll change the bed and we'll soon have you feeling so much fresher."

"Uh huh..."

"Do you think you can drink anything?"

"She hasn't been able to keep anything down," Hanah answered for her daughter.

"Not even water?"

"No."

"Okay, that's not a problem," Greta bent and kissed Lilly's forehead. "Once you're all clean, we'll start an IV, okay?"

"Mmm..."Lilly's head lolled to once side again. He legs were splayed in front of her and arms now hung limply at her side. Greta reached and placed his fingers on her neck to check her pulse. He smiled at Hanah. "She's okay," he whispered softly, "just exhausted."

"I know," Hanah sighed sadly.

"Right. Let's get her cleaned up."

Greta stood and placed a reassuring hand on Hanah's shoulder. "She'll feel much better for it," he smiled before making his way into the bathroom.

Hanah took a seat next to her daughter and took her hand again, hating how limp it felt in hers.

"It's going to be just fine, Lilly," she reassured gently. "You just need to be strong for a little while longer."

Xxx

"Are things getting back to normal in the mines, Mr Tanger?" Thomas asked as he passed Sergi a cup of tea.

"I do not want to appear rude," Sergi replied, nodding his thanks for his tea. "But we have not come here to exchange pleasantries."

Thomas sank into his chair with a heavy sigh. "Something has obviously happened, and I am assuming it is something to do with my son."

"You assume correctly." Sergi gave a curt nod and stared straight ahead.

"Surely it's can't be that bad," Thomas nonchalantly stirred his tea.

"Not that bad?" Sergi turned and spat. "Not that bad! Do you have any idea what your son did to my daughter?"

"Sergi!" Ben growled under his breath. He could see Sergi's hands shaking in rage as he gripped his teacup. "Not now, we'll wait for Edward."

"No, no, it's fine," Thomas placed his cup on the table and leaned forward. "Let's not wait for my son, let's find out what has brought you to my door in such an obvious rage."

Ben leaned forward and mirrored his position. "It is between Edward and us," he said softly. "No offence."

"Sorry, but I have taken offence. I suggest that you either tell me what has happened or you leave my house."

Ben could see Sergi tense out of the corner of his eye and placed his hand on his knee. "Leave this to me, okay," he urged softy and Sergi reluctantly nodded his permission.

"There was..." Ben cleared his throat. "...how shall I put this? There has been an incident involving your son and Sergi's daughter."

"Go on."

"Apparently, and I only saying apparently as we have not heard Edward's side of the story, but, apparently your son forced himself on Cara." Ben could feel his heart drumming in his chest as he spoke. Thomas Pollard was a very muscular man, very much like his son and he didn't like his and Sergi's chances if the situation escalated into violence.

"What do you mean 'forced himself'?"

"Well," Ben cleared his throat again. "I found Cara waiting for me at the hospital and she was in a state of considerable shock. It took a while for her to open up to me but she eventually informed me that Edward forced himself on her physically, in a sexual manner, despite her protests."

"You must be mistaken, my son would never..."

"I examined her myself Mr Pollard. She had physical signs, not only of a struggle, but also penetration."

"Don't be absurd!" Thomas was on his feet. "How dare you come to my home accusing my family of such awful things?"

"Please calm yourself, Mr Pollard. We just need to find the truth, sir," Ben tried to diffuse the situation. "Please be assured that, if Edward provides evidence to the contrary, you will have our utmost apologies but, as a father yourself, you must understand that Mr. Tanger needs to get to the bottom of all this. His daughter is very distressed as you can imagine."

Thomas turned at the sound of raucous laughter coming from the yard. "Here is my son now. Let us see what he says for himself," he snapped as he strode out of the room closely followed by Ben and Sergi. "I will expect a full written apology," he stated as he held the door open of them. "You cannot go around making such accusations with no proof at all."

"We will see about that," Sergi growled as he pushed past.

"Yes, we will!"

Ben jogged to catch up with the two men. "Please, let's not be hasty..."

This was not the way he thought it was going to go down.


	9. Chapter 9

"Mornings, before daylight, I slipped into corn fields and borrowed a watermelon," Hanah read from Huckleberry Finn., "or a mushroom, or a pumpkin, or new corn, or things of that kind."

The late afternoon breeze through the window had cooled the bedroom. Not that Lilly had noticed. She was curled on her side panting through her next contraction with Greta at her side supporting her as much as he could. She had only dilated one more centimetre in the past two hours but the baby's heartbeat was still strong so Greta was happy for the labour to continue at the same pace. Lilly was holding her own. Her reaction to the pain had lessened considerably due to her exhaustion and she seemed content to lie on her side and let the agony wash over her, her only response being pitiful grunts and whimpers.

"Pap always said it warn't no harm to borrow things, if you was meaning to pay them back, sometime; but the widow said it warn't anything but a soft name for stealing, and no decent body would to do..." Hanah continued to read as she watched Greta pull Lilly's covers up to allow her to rest more comfortably between her contractions and smiled sadly at him as he took a seat at the bedside and held Lilly's hand. Greta Quinn had assisted her mother at the end of Lilly's birth, he'd been a young trainee Platon at the time and her mother had agreed that he could finish his maternity training by attending the birth. Hanah could remember the look of sheer joy on his face when Lilly cried for the first time and she was sure that their close bond was due to his involvement and that Lilly's chosen path had been because of his enthusiasm and encouragement while she grew up.

It seemed so fitting that he was here, assisting in bringing Lilly's first child into the world.

Hanah returned to her reading with a sigh of contentment. "We catched fish and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness. It was kind of solemn, drifting down the big, still river, laying on our backs looking up at the stars, and we didn't ever feel like talking loud, and it warn't often that we laughed, only a little kind of a low chuckle. We had mighty good weather as a general thing, and nothing ever happened to us at all that night, nor the next, nor the next."

Xxx

"Mr. Tanger, Benjamin, what brings you here?" Edward took another slug of alcohol. "Not that's it's not nice to see you, sir." He giggled as he swayed. "But your beautiful daughter is not here." Edward staggered and bumped into his friends who were as drunk as he was.

"I want to know what you did to my daughter!"

Sergi stood toe to toe with Edward, shoulders squared and fists clenched. "You hurt her!" He spat.

"Whoa there," Edward held his hands up in surrender as he continued to sway. "I don't know what you are talking 'bout." His words slurred as he took a step backwards out of arm's reach.

"Of course you do," Sergi poked his shoulder. "You damn well know what you did!"

"I think you should take your hands off me old man," Edward snarled back.

"And I think you should tell us just what you did to Cara!"

Ben pushed through and stood between them. "I think we should all calm down and maybe take this discussion inside," he tried to mediate as he physically held the two men a part.

"Let me handle this Benjamin," Sergi snapped. "I want answers and I want them now!"

"Just who do you think you are?" Edward squared up again. "You think you are so high and mighty. You think your family is above all others but I'll tell you something, old man..."

"Go on..." Sergi pushed against Ben, eagerly trying to reach Edward. "Tell me!"

"Well, that precious little daughter of yours," Edward started to laugh manically. "Your precious Cara just couldn't get enough of me. She begged me; she was on her knees begging me."

"Edward!" Thomas growled, snagging his sons arm. "Inside. Now!"

Edward shook his father's arm off and continued to laugh. "I've got nothing to hide. It's time everyone knew how easy young Cara Tanger is," he stumbled and took another swig of alcohol before wiping his hand across his mouth. "I mean, she just couldn't help 'erself. She was like an animal!"

"How dare you!" Sergi lurched for the drunken man again.

"No, Sergi," Ben turned and held his father in law's shoulders. "He's just not worth it, believe me."

"What? That's it?" Edward sneered. "Nothing to say to that old man?"

"Leave this to me," Ben kept his voice low and calm. "I want you to step back Sergi, I'll handle things from here."

"But..." Sergi protested.

"There is another way," Ben nodded slowly before turning round and punching Edward as hard as he could.

"But I actually think your way is the best way under the circumstances," he shrugged as he flexed his aching hand. "It's time to walk away now Sergi," he nodded again and began to steer Sergi away from the house but he only managed five paces before his legs were swept from under him and he fell painfully on to his stomach with a grunt.

"That's the way ya want to play it then, Platon Ashton!"

Ben was aware of the heavy weight of Edward pinning him to the ground.

"What business is it of yours, Benjamin?" Edward grabbed Ben's arms back and twisted them. "Jumping to that whore's defence hey? Does your wife know? Does your pregnant wife know that you're here protecting her sister's honour?"

"Get off me," Ben growled as he tried to wriggle free but he felt a hand pull his hair back and he had little choice but to cry out in pain.

"I think that this is none of your business, young Platon and I think you should get off our land before I do something I regret," Edward continued.

Ben smelled the alcohol on Edward's breath as he snarled in his face and was aware of Sergi arguing with Thomas in the background. Things were getting out of hand and they were seriously out numbered.

"Just leave him alone!"

A young girl's shout suddenly came from the end of the driveway and Ben managed to turn his head to see Cara clambering down from her buggy with Niall just behind her.

"Let him go!"

Xxx

"Let him go!"

Cara sprinted toward the house. She'd pulled up just in time to see Ben being tackled from behind by Edward and had quickly halted her horse before rushing to help.

"Ah, there you are my love!"

She watched Edward grind Ben's face in the dirt before standing and grabbing his bottle again. "We were just talking about you, my little angel," he grinned, taking another swig. "I was just discussing with your father how obliging you are."

"How dare you!" Cara strode toward him, shrugging off Niall's hand on her shoulder as the young farmer tried to restrain her.

"Come on, my princess, are you back for more Cara Tanger?" Edward staggered, cocked his head and grinned. "You are such an easy girl," he taunted and licked his lips. "You Tanger girls are always begging for it."

"You...you...how dare you!"

"Don't Cara," Niall held her back as she tried to kick out at Edward. "Please, he's just not worth it."

"Oh, hello, cripple," Edward chuckled. "I don't think you're gonna be able to defend your damsel in distress are you, not without one of your legs, are you, hey, are you?"

"He may not be able to but, I am!"

The sound of a whip interrupted the tense situation.

"I suggest you get in the house, boy!" Thomas cracked his whip again.

Edward turned to face his father. "You're not serious!" He laughed.

"Deadly. Get in the house or I will use this on you!" Thomas raised the whip again. "I mean it boy. Go!"

"Okay...okay," Edward held his hands up in surrender as he walked toward the house. "Whatever you say, pa," he spat sarcastically as he pushed past his father and stormed through the door.

Cara rushed to Ben's side at the same time as Sergi and they helped him to his feet.

"Are you okay?" She asked as Ben brushed himself down.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine," he nodded. "Thanks."

"What were the two of you thinking, coming here and confronting him like that?" Cara shook her head as she turned to hug her father. "He is a dangerous man."

Sergi returned the hug. "He hurt you child. No one hurts my girls."

Her father's soft words caused Cara to sob. "I'm so sorry, pa. I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault, my Cara. You did nothing wrong."

"I brought shame on the family..."

"No you didn't," Sergi pushed out of Cara's embrace and cupped her face. "You did not bring shame. You were so brave and grown up. I am so proud of you," he smiled tenderly as he brushed away her tears.

"H-he h-hurt m-me..."

"I know."

"I d-didn't k-know what t-to d-do," Cara hiccupped.

"You did the right thing."

"I d-didn't w-want h-his c-child..."

Sergi pulled her in for a hug again and started rocking her. "Benjamin told me everything. You did the right thing, I promise," he soothed. "I will say it again, Cara, I am so proud of you."

"I-m s-so s-sorry p-pa."

"Shh...Shh...it's going to be okay, you'll see." Sergi smiled sadly at Ben who returned the smile before clearing his throat.

"We should get going, Sergi," he stated softly as he noticed Edward's friends starting to scuffle amongst themselves.

"Lilly!" Cara's head suddenly shot up. "We have to go, Lilly's having the baby!"

"What!"

"She is struggling Ben, ma sent me for you. She needs you." She turned and grabbed Ben's arm.

"Go, go," Sergi urged when Ben just stood and stared in shock. "Your wife needs you!"

Ben didn't need telling twice. He hurried to the cart, climbed up and grabbed the reins, pausing to allow Cara to follow him and to watch Sergi and Niall boarding the other cart.

"On!" He clicked the horse on.

"I know a shorter way," Sergi called. "Follow me!"

Ben allowed his father in law to lead the way as they began to gallop down the lane. He had to get there in time. He couldn't let Lilly go through this without his support, he just couldn't.

Xxx

Evening shadows enveloped the sun's rays as day turned to night and the solitary oil lamp at Lilly's bedside filled the room with a warm glow.

Lilly was beyond exhausted, hours of labour had sapped her strength and she continued lie limply on her side between contractions. She was beginning to think that she'd never have the baby that she was too weak to be able to give birth and she felt so very frightened.

The feeling of her mother's hand gently brushing her forehead was very soothing, her touch relaxing and calming.

"Thank you ma," she managed to whisper as her latest contraction disappeared.

"What for child?"

She was aware of her mother lying at her side, continuing to stroke her fingers through her hair.

"F-for b-being with me." Lilly didn't even have the strength to open her eyes as she lay and drifted in the twilight world between waking and sleeping.

"It is my place, Lilly."

"I'm sorry ma, I just c-can't do t-this a-anymore." Lilly's words hitched as she struggled with her emotions.

"Of course you can. I have faith."

"H-how much longer?"

"That I cannot tell you, but this will not last forever. It is a day in your life Lilly and the new day will bring new life, one which will be changed forever and one to be moulded and guided for a lifetime."

"I w-will n-never d-do t-this a-again."

"Ah, but you will my chid. Every new mother says the same thing."

Lilly managed to shake her head as her mother softy laughed. "N-no m-more."

"I remember saying that just after you were born, sweetheart. Nothing prepares a woman for the pain of childbirth but when you hold that precious gift in your arms, when your child reaches out to grab your finger, the memory of all the pain just disappears. And, when the time comes for you to add to your family, all you will recall is the joy and happiness your first child brings you. I promise you this."

"I've b-been too s-sick." Lilly felt her mother gently take her hand.

"Oh, Lilly, no two pregnancies are the same. When I carried you I barely looked pregnant, I watched other mothers as their babies grew and they all looked so healthy and glowing. I had heartburn and nerve pain that shot down my leg. Carrying you was not an enjoyable experience, I am afraid, but Cara was a different story all together. I was huge, absolutely enormous. I ate almost everything I saw. I would even wake up in the middle of the night to bake bread and cakes to satisfy my cravings. My hair shone and my skin glowed, I was a picture of health. I loved being pregnant. So I'm sure you will sail through the next one, and I will be at your side, reminding you of this conversation."

Lilly continued to drift as her mother began to sing a soft lullaby again. She wished she could freeze time as she felt so loved and safe but the pain was slowly beginning to return.

"Mmmm..." She turned her face into her pillow and increased the pressure on the hand that held hers. As the pain grew she drew her legs up to her stomach and bit down on her bottom lip, all the time trying desperately to concentrate on her mother's soothing song but soon the pain became too much and she could not help but cry out and weakly writhe on the bed.

Strong hands lifted her and she was aware of being lowered into safe arms as gentle rocking joined in with the old familiar childhood tune. She surrendered to the agony, allowing her mother to catch her in her hour of need. Her whole life now revolved round this room, the pain and the exhaustion. She longed to feel the sun on her face, her baby in her arms and her husband's tender embrace. Those things felt a lifetime away.

"Sun goes down, stars appear. Evening angels gather here. Rest your head my child, rest your head..."

Xxx

"N-no m-more, n-no m-more." Lilly's head lolled on Hanah's shoulder as she fought another contraction.

"You can do this," Hanah dabbed the sweat off her forehead and wet her lips with the cloth. "You're another one closer to the birth now sweetheart. You just have to keep going and I know you can do that."

"Ahh...! Please, just get it o-out! I c-cant d-do t-this!" Lilly was openly weeping, tears pouring down her face and shivers wracking her body.

Greta placed his hand on her stomach. "Just breathe, Lilly," he urged. "You're nearly there," he looked at Hanah and noticed the tears trailing down her face and felt a lump in his throat. Lilly had had enough, she was bathed in sweat, trembling with exhaustion and it was heart breaking to watch. He hid his emotion in a soft cough and concentrated on getting Lilly through the contraction. He could have jumped for joy when he finally felt her stomach begin to soften. "There you go," he smiled. "It's over, it's over," he watched as Lilly began to slowly relax. "Well done, you did so well," he praised. "We are so very proud of you."

Lilly again went limp in her mother's arms, her head fell to one side and Hanah tapped her cheek gently but urgently.

"Lilly?"

Lilly was too exhausted to even answer her mother and just whimpered in reply.

Hanah exchanged looks of concern with Greta. "She's too weak to do this anymore," she sighed, reached and re-wet her cloth. "She is barely coping with the contractions. I don't know if she will have the strength to push when the time comes." She placed the cloth on Lilly's forehead as she continued to hold her as she twitched in reaction.

Greta picked up Lilly's wrist and began to take her pulse. "She is weak," he confirmed sadly as he counted the slow beats under his fingers. "I don't know what else to do," he admitted with a sigh of bordering on defeat and pulled the sheet to cover Lilly again. "We just need to support her all we can and pray that this child graces us with its appearance soon."

They both sat in near silence with only Lilly's ragged breaths punctuating the calm as they waited for the next contraction. Time in between them now seemed like both an eternity and a split second and Greta and Hanah needed to regain their strength as well. Stress and worry were eating away at both of them, it was exhausting just trying to be strong for her and when the sudden sound of a door shutting echoed through the house, they both lifted their heads and grinned.

"Ben?"

Greta rushed to the bedroom door and greeted Ben as he hurried up the stairs. "Thank goodness you're here!"

"How is she?" Ben asked urgently as he strode into the bedroom. The sight of his wife lying limply in her mother's arms stopped him dead in his tracks. She looked as if she was barely breathing.

"She is not good," Hanah looked up, fresh tears falling down her face. "She is so weak, Benjamin."

Ben took a moment to get over the shock of Lilly's condition and to gather his thoughts before grabbing a pair of sterile gloves off of the cabinet.

"Okay, let's see what's going on hey," he flashed, what he hoped, was a reassuring smile before getting up on the end of the bed. "Can you hold her legs please," he turned and addressed Greta. "Let's see what stage we're at."

Greta held Lilly's legs as Ben began his internal examination. "The baby is posterior and Lilly is having a lot of back pain, Benjamin," he informed the younger Platon.

"Damn," Ben muttered. "How long has she been contracting?"

"Since you left this morning," Hanah answered, wiping the tears off her face feeling happier for having Ben here.

Ben mentally then calculated that Lilly had been in hard labour for nearly sixteen hours but was only seven centimetres dilated. "Did her water break?"

"No, not yet."

Ben sat back, snapped off his gloves and helped Greta lower her legs. "Okay. Right," he sighed as he considered what action to take next. "Greta, could you grab me my medical bag out of the closet and, Hanah, could you go and get me some canvas and as many towels as you can find?" He moved to the top of the bed and held Lilly as Hanah crawled out from behind her, not liking how his wife's neck and head just hung limply over his arm.

"Do you need anything else?" Hanah asked as Ben gently lowered Lilly on to the bed.

"Fresh water and a clean gown wouldn't be refused," he glanced up and smiled again.

"I won't be long," Hanah returned the smile and hurried out of the room.

Greta passed Ben his bag and Ben felt around and pulled out his stethoscope. He was worried about the lack of reaction from Lilly as he listened to her chest. After detecting a slow but steady beat, he moved the bell to her stomach and grinned at the good strong beat of the baby. "Little one sounds good," he removed his stethoscope and then delved into his bag again, one eye on Lilly as she began to mumble and toss her head from side to side. He pulled out a prefilled syringe and then gently stroked her cheek.

"Lillyput? Sweetheart?" He urged her to wake. "Come on my love, I need to you wake up a bit and then you can go back to sleep, I promise." He grabbed her hand, pinched the delicate skin between her fingers and was rewarded with a groan along with a slither of brown eyes.

"Hey there," he smiled and brushed her hair off her forehead.

"B-ben?"

"Shh, don't try and talk," he placed his finger on her chapped lips. "I just want you to listen, okay?" He watched Lilly slowly nod as her fluttered eyes shut again.

He flicked the syringe to calibrate the dose as he began his explanation. "I'm going to give you some Demerol and you're going to have a nice sleep. When you wake up you'll soon have a baby in your arms, okay?" He plunged the syringe into her arm as gently as he could, frowning with concern when Lilly didn't react at all. He turned and placed the used syringe on the cabinet and then sat crossed legged at his wife's side and placed his hand on her stomach.

"How will she cope with the contractions?"

Ben glanced up at Greta as he continued to monitor Lilly's condition. "The drug will not lessen the contractions," he started to explain as Greta pulled up a chair. "It will lessen the pain Lilly feels. The contractions will be just as strong but Lilly should sleep through them," he turned and smiled.

"But she needs to be awake when the time comes to push."

"And she will be. She is only seven centimetres dilated so I don't think young Ashton will be ready to make an appearance for several hours yet." Lilly's stomach began to harden under his touch as another contraction built. Ben watched his wife face for reaction and was happy to see a slight frown followed by a soft moan and toss of head before she licked her lips and settled down again.

"Put your hand on her stomach," he turned to Greta. "See, she's having a contraction now and is barely feeling it." He watched as Greta began to smile. "She will be able to get some much needed rest as the labour progresses and when the time comes to push the drug will be wearing off and she'll be feeling stronger and able to cope better."

When the contraction lessened, Ben straightened Lilly's covers and reached for his bag again. "I'm going to break her waters now. That will help things along," he informed Greta who still hand on Lilly's stomach and was grinning from ear to ear. "Pretty amazing hey?" He said as he moved to the end of the bed.

"So amazing," Greta nodded. "She has struggled so much."

"I know," Ben sighed. "She'll regain some strength now. You did a great job by putting her on fluids, by the way."

"She couldn't keep any water down."

"I know."

"What can I do now?"

"Well, you could go see where Hanah is with that canvas," Ben smiled as he snapped on another pair of gloves. " Breaking Lilly's water is going to be messy."

He watched Greta literally jump off his chair and hurry out of the room, knowing the relief the elder Platon must feel that Lilly was no longer in pain.

Taking a deep breath, he turned his attention to his wife and unborn child again. "Okay, Ashton family, let's get this show on the road..."


	10. Chapter 10

The two moons of Mandana were in ascendance, drenching the room with an almost ethereal silver glow.

Ben sat at his wife's side timing her latest contraction. Lilly lay curled up on her side, barely reacting to the pain. The Demerol was doing wonders and she'd been sleeping peacefully for the past two hours. Knowing that she'd be getting some relief and that things were progressing slowly, Ben had insisted that Greta should get some rest and he'd left for home not long after Lilly's water had been broken. Greta was going to check in with Mari, grab something to eat and a change of clothes and return as soon as he could. Ben knew that the elder Platon would not want to miss the birth for the world and wasn't surprised when he returned, with Mari, within the hour and was now making his wife comfortable in the lounge with the rest of the Tanger family. All were on tenterhooks waiting for the cry of a newborn child.

Lilly's contractions had slowed due to the Demerol but the baby still had a strong heart beat and was showing no sign of distress so Ben was happy with the way things were progressing. Above all else he was pleased that Lilly was getting some quality rest. The change of bed linen and a quick freshen up after breaking her water had made the world of difference to her condition. She was sleeping peacefully, the struggles now gone. It was a time to recharge batteries and regroup before the final push.

Ben was beginning to feel tired himself. It had been a very long, very stressful day and, after smoothing Lilly's quilt round her shoulders, he stood, stretched out the kinks in his back and crossed to the window seat to finish the supper Hanah had left him. He could hear soft voices coming from the small courtyard and as he took a bite of cake, he watched Cara and Niall who were engrossed in deep conversation on the porch swing. He was glad that his sister in law had someone to confide in and knew that Niall would be a wonderful support to her. Mari and Sergi had been, after the initial shock at the whole situation, completely understanding and supportive too. They knew that the blame lay with Edward and had assured Cara that everything would be better in time. Ben was more than happy that his former patient was in safe hands as he had other priorities now and, when he heard a soft whisper of his name, he turned and smiled tenderly at his wife who was knuckling her eyes as she lay drowsily watching him.

"Hey Lilliput," he reached and took her hand as he took his position at her bedside. "How're you doing?" He asked softly and brushed her hair off her forehead.

"Sleepy," Lilly sighed in response. "Everything is muzzy."

Ben continued to stroke her hair. "That's because I've given you some pain relief," he explained.

"Oh," Lilly's eyes flutter closed as she nodded. "What time is it?" She asked, licking her lips.

"After midnight now."

"Huh huh. New day." Lilly's response didn't make much sense but Ben knew that the Demerol would remove her from reality for a while.

"What was that, my love?" He asked, taking her wrist to check her pulse

"Ma said: New day, new life."

Ben smiled as he counted the steady beats under his fingers. "Yes, she's right. We will become parents today, sweetheart."

"Mmm..."

Lilly continued to drift as Ben placed the bell of his stethoscope on her stomach to check the condition of the baby. After assuring himself that everything was still under control, he rested his head back and closed his eyes, Lilly's hand firmly clasped in his. It was time for him to rest too.

Xxx

"Mmm..."

The increased pressure of Lilly's grasp immediately pulled Ben from his light slumber. He inched his chair closer to the bed, placed his hand on her stomach and watched her reaction to the contraction he felt under his touch.

Lilly's brow was furrowed in pain and speckled with sweat.

"It's okay, Lilly," Ben soothed. "Try and breathe through it," he urged gently but Lilly continued to groan as she tried to curl into herself.

"H-hurts..."

"I know. You're doing so well. Just breathe my love, just breathe." Ben kept his hand on her stomach and waited for the contraction to diminish and when it did Lilly sighed and opened her eyes.

"It hurts, Ben," she complained with a whimper.

"It's going to, Lil's," Ben replied tenderly. "The Demerol is wearing off."

Lilly licked her lips and rubbed her eyes. "Can I have some more?"

"Sorry, my love but you've got to wake up a bit now and I need to check how things are going with your cervix." He leaned in and kissed her forehead before making his way to the end of the bed, grabbing some gloves on his way. "Okay, his might hurt slightly," he warned as he began his internal examination. He watched as Lilly bit her bottom lip in response to his actions. "I won't be a minute," he promised as he calculated the dilation and effacement.

"Right." After snapping his gloves off, he sat on the edge of the bed and smiled. "You're about nine centimetres now and the head is engaged. It's time for you to get going, move around some..."

"I can't," Lilly protested feebly. "I want to sleep."

"You're going to be just fine," Ben reassured her. "Let's get you sitting up a bit first." He gently lifted Lilly's head and shoulders, removed the pillows and placed them against the bed head. When her head immediately flopped against his shoulders he took her in his arms hugged her tenderly. "You are doing so well, Lilly," he said as he began to rock. "I'm so proud of you."

"I can't do this," Lilly's response was muffled as she turned her head into his chest. "I just can't."

"Of course you can. I'm here with you all the way. We can do this. I promise you." Ben gently eased her out of his arms, lowered her onto the pillows, and then grabbed a glass of water. "Have a few sips," he smiled as he helped her drink. "Better?" He asked after replacing the half empty glass.

Lilly nodded as she leaned her head back and closed her eyes again. "Yes."

"Good," Ben pulled down the quilt and replaced it with a thin sheet. "I think that, in about half an hour you should be ready to push," he said as he smoothed out the covers.

"Where's ma?" Lilly sounded so exhausted.

"She's downstairs getting some rest."

"I need her."

"I know, I'll call her in a minute."

"Greta?"

"Downstairs with Mari."

Lilly slowly opened her eyes. "Mari's here?" She asked as she tried to push herself into a more upright position.

Ben grabbed her arms and helped. "You know she wouldn't miss this for the world," he grinned.

"She's not strong enough to travel."

"Well, she obviously is and has," Ben shrugged. "Your mother and Greta have been fussing over her and she's just fine."

"Stubborn old woman."

"No disagreement there." Ben perched on the bed again. "Listen, I'm going to hand you over to your mother and Greta now," he said as he dabbed at the sweat on her brow. "I'm going to be your supportive husband and the nervous father in waiting."

"I'm scared," Lilly admitted softly but Ben just laughed and shook his head.

"Nothing to be scared about," he reassured. "Child birth is the most natural thing in the world. Piece of cake as Colonel O'Neill says."

"Not about the birth, about afterwards," Lilly nervously bit her bottom lip.

"Oh, Lilly, you're going to be a wonderful mother."

Lilly lifted her face and blinked away her tears. "I'm so s-sorry," her voice hitched and Ben placed his cloth into the bowl and grabbed her hand.

"Why are you sorry?" He questioned softly.

"Because I didn't believe you. Because I turned you away."

Ben took her in his arms again and began to stroke her hair. "Oh, Lilly," he sighed. "It's okay. You have nothing to apologise for. I'm the one who's sorry, I should have taken a step back. You are my priority." He rocked her gently again as she began to cry.

"C-cara n-needed you."

"There are other Platons."

"She t-turned t-to you."

"Shh...Shh...don't cry, Lilly. Everything is all right. Cara is fine your parents are caring for her now. Things will work out for her, I promise. You need to concentrate on our baby now, my love."

"I'm s-so, s-so s-sorry," Lilly continued to cry.

"Calm down, Lillyput," Ben urged "Please, my love. You need to calm down."

When Lilly suddenly stiffened in his hold, he held her closer. "Take some deep breaths Lilly."

"It h-hurts." Lilly groaned. "Ben, it hurts so much." Her legs were in constant movement in her struggle with the pain.

"Breath with me Lilly. In and out. In and out..."

"Mmm...Mmm..." He knew she was gritting her teeth as she desperately tried to ride out the contraction.

"You're doing so brilliantly," he praised. "It'll soon be over."

He sat and continued to rock her as she struggled to fight and when she finally went limp in his arms, he eased her back against the pillows and began to mop her brow again.

"Easing off?" He asked, stroking her forehead.

Lilly managed to nod as her chest heaved with her heavy breathing. "Y-yeah," she finally managed to mutter.

Ben smiled and helped her sip some more water as she regained her composure and then reached for his stethoscope. "Do you want to hear the baby?" He asked as Lilly leaned her head back and closed her eyes. He took her slight nod as a yes and gently placed the stethoscope in her ears and pulled her gown down. After warming the bell, he positioned it over her stomach and watched as Lilly slowly started to smile.

"There you are. Everything is just fine," he soothed. "The baby is so strong."

Lilly nodded and then let her head to fall to one side slightly and Ben plucked the stethoscope out of her ears. "I'm just going to fetch ma and Greta," he stated and completely removed her gown and pulled up a sheet to cover her. "It will soon be time," he added, caressing her face.

"Kay," Lilly mumbled and Ben leant in and kissed her tenderly.

"Not long now, my love," he promised before dimming the lamp and making his way to the door. He glanced back at his wife who was now resting comfortably again, even though he knew it was only going to be for a short while.

She looked so incredibly beautiful.

Xxx

Dawn was beginning to break and Lilly was still pushing. She lay in her husband's arms, bathed in sweat and completely exhausted.

"N-no m-more," she stuttered.

"You are nearly there, Lilly Lou. I can see the head!" Greta glanced up and grinned. "One more good push and the baby will be here."

Lilly weakly rolled her head from side to side as Ben mopped her brow. "C-cant. N-no m-more."

Ben knew that Lilly was nearly at the end of her strength, hours of pushing had left her weak and limp. He'd nearly stopped the procedure several times, wanting to assist surgically but he knew that things had gone too far now and Lilly just _had_ to keep going.

"One more push, just one more push, sweetheart. You've done so well."

"I...C-can't," Lilly cried. "I j-just c-cant."

"Of course you can," Hanah grabbed her hand. "We are with you all the way, my love. Just one more push." She held a glass of water to Lilly's lips and Ben eased her head up. "Drink Lilly," Hanah urged, "then take some deep cleansing breathes." She placed the glass down as Ben shifted slightly and pulled Lilly upright again.

Hanah tipped Lilly's chin so she looked her in the eye. "Right, now. You need to take a deep breath and then push with all your might. When Greta tells you to pant, you have to stop pushing. Do you understand?"

Lilly shivered and nodded. "I u-understand," she managed to stutter.

"Good," Hanah smiled tenderly and stroked her forehead. "You will soon have your child in your arms my Lilly." She placed her hand on her daughter's stomach and waited for the usual hardening. "Here we go," she smiled again. "Deep breath, Lilly."

Lilly nodded her eyes never leaving her mother's as she took the breath.

"Push Lilly! Push!" Hanah urged. "Keep going. Keep going..."

Lilly screamed as she strained and Ben tightened his hold. "Keep going, Lilly, you can do this."

"There you go, there you go. Here comes the head, Lilly," Greta called. "Okay, okay, you need to pant now Lilly. Just pant."

Lilly dropped her head back onto Ben's shoulder and started to pant.

"Good girl," Greta praise. "Hello little one," he added. "My, what a lot of hair you have," he chuckled as he concentrated on ensuring there was no cord around the baby's neck. It was most strange for him to see a little face staring up at him. "Okay, everything is just fine. You need to push again Lilly."

Ben altered his grip and eased Lilly forward again. "Push Lilly. Push!"

Lilly dipped her chin to her chest and pushed as hard as she could.

"Keep going...Keep going," Greta urged. "Keep going. Here comes your baby..."

Ben and Hanah waited with baited breath for the baby's cry and when it came, they both started to beam.

"Well done, well done." Ben buried his face in his wife's curls. "You did it."

"You have a beautiful son."

Ben lifted his head and watched as Greta placed the baby on Lilly's stomach, grinning as he held out a pair of surgical scissors. "Would you like to do the honours, papi?"

Ben wiped his sweaty palms on the sheet and took a deep shuddering breath. "Absolutely," he grinned back before leaning down and cutting his son's umbilical cord.

"Well done, papi," Greta praised as he reached for the scissors. "I'm just going to the deliver the placenta now, Lilly. You might feel a little pulling," he added and returned to his task.

Hanah then intervened and positioned the baby so it had access to Lilly's breast. "Let's see if we can get him to suckle," she smiled at her daughter who was laying in Ben's arms still trying to catch her breath and shaking in reaction. Ben eased her up slightly, making it easier for their son to latch on and then supported his head as he made a valiant attempt to feed.

"He's so beautiful, Lilly," he planted a kiss in his wife's hair. "You were amazing."

Lilly lifted a shaky hand and stroked her sons head. "He looks like you" she managed to mumble before her hand flopped back onto the bed again. "I'm sorry, I'm so tired," she then admitted with a sigh.

"I know my love," Ben sympathised and Hanah quickly returned to her side.

"How about I get this little one all cleaned up and then you can have another cuddle before you get some sleep?"

"Uh huh," Lilly mumbled drowsily.

Hanah reached for her grandson and flashed a reassuring smile at Ben. "So, you two, does your son have a name?" She asked as she wrapped the now crying baby in a towel.

Ben eased back on the bed and shifted slightly so Lilly was lying more comfortably in his arms. "We haven't actually decided on one, have we Lilly?" He admitted with a shrug and reached to pour Lilly another glass of water.

"I've been thinking," Lilly's voice was so soft it was barely a whisper. "How about Huckleberry?"

"Huckleberry?" Ben chuckled as he helped her drink. "I'm not sure about that."

"Oh," Lilly rested her head against Ben's chest again. "Huckleberry just seems right," she sighed.

Ben thought for a couple of minutes, one hand on Lilly's wrist double checking her pulse and one eye on Hanah and Greta as they checked over their son. "How about Finn? As in Huckleberry _Finn_?" He suggested.

When there was no immediate response from Lilly, he assumed she was sleeping but soon felt a slight nod of her head against his chest.

"I like Finn," she sighed. "Finn Tanger Quinn Ashton..."

"Is a fine name," Hanah beamed as she placed a clean, and now sleeping, Finn Ashton in his mother's arms once more. "Congratulations," she smiled and kissed Lilly's forehead. "You did a wonderful job my girl," she added before giving Ben a quick peck on the cheek as well. "And, while you two get acquainted with your son, I'm going to give everyone the good news."

"Thanks ma," Lilly smiled back as she blinked back her tears.

"Oh, it was my pleasure," Hanah nodded. "I'll leave you to it," she smiled as she made her way out of the room.

She had a house full of people waiting on the edge of their seats.

Xxx

Greta watched the young couple as they inspected their son, one more animated than the other, which was not surprising. Lilly was exhausted and the elderly Platon knew she needed to get some rest.

"Why don't you dress young Finn, Benjamin," he suggested as he gathered all the soiled sheets. "And I'll give Lilly a quick wash up before she gets some much needed sleep," he smiled and patted Ben on the shoulder as he disposed of the sheets in the laundry basket.

Ben nodded and brushed Lilly's hair off her forehead, noting that her eyes were at half-mast. "That sounds like a good plan," he smiled tenderly, then leaned in and gently kissed her forehead. "I love you," he sighed.

"And I you," Lilly whispered softly in reply.

Ben stood and gently cradled his son in his arms. "Come on young Finn. Let's get you respectable." He crossed to the window seat and gently laid his son in his cradle before turning to sort through the pile of robes Mari had left out.

Greta filled a bowl with fresh warm water and moved to Lilly's side. "We'll give you a quick wash, change you into a gown and then you can sleep," he smiled.

"Use one of the SG infirmary gowns," Ben advised as he started to dress his son. "Put it on backwards so Lilly will be able to feed Finn easier."

"Good idea," Greta agreed and helped Lilly to sit up. "I won't be long," he promised as Lilly closed her eyes and shivered. He then made quick work of giving her a bed bath and helped her into a clean gown, which he left tied loosely at the front for easy access.

"There you go," he smiled as he then helped her lie back down again. "All squeaky clean," he pulled the quilt back up to her shoulders and then kissed the top of her head. "Sleep well, child."

"T-thanks, Q-Quinny," Lilly mumbled and snuggled into the covers.

"I will be downstairs," Greta turned and smiled at Ben. "If you need me," he added as he picked up the laundry basket before leaving the young family to bond.


	11. Chapter 11

"I think he has your nose."

Ben sat on the bed, next to his wife and cradled his son. "And he defiantly has your chin," he continued as he inspected Finn.

Lilly lay and watched him, feeling too exhausted to join in the conversation. She'd looked forward to holding her child so much but, now that he was here, she just wanted to sleep.

"I think Hanah really liked the name..."

Lilly closed her eyes and let Ben reassuring voice wash over her, hoping that it would lull her into sleep but found that she couldn't relax as she was suddenly beginning to feel really cold.

"...And, I'm sure Great was over the moon that we included Quinn as a middle name."

The room began to spin and Lilly curled into a ball. She was shivering uncontrollably and her heart raced.

"He's a good size considering he's a couple of weeks early..."

"B-ben," Lilly managed to stutter as she struggled to catch her breath. "I d-don't feel t-too g-good."

She watched as Ben immediately glanced up and realised she was struggling. "Hold on, Lil's," he quickly stood and placed Finn in his cradle and then picked up her wrist. "You need to calm down my love," he soothed, taking her pulse. "You're just a little shockey." He quickly grabbed some pillows and elevated her legs.

"I'm c-cold."

"I know." Ben stroked her forehead before hurrying to fetch his med bag. "I'm just going to give you some oxygen," he grabbed an oxygen canister and mask. "Let's get you on your side." Very gently, he rolled her into the recovery position, attached the mask to the oxygen, and then placed it over her mouth.

"Take some deep breaths, Lil. You're doing so well, my love," he praised as he sat at her side again. "It's not surprising you're a little shockey, your body has been through so much. Just try and breathe normally."

Lilly nodded as she struggled to control her breathing.

Ben then slipped a blood pressure cuff on her arm. "I'm just going to check your blood pressure," he said as he pumped the bulb, all the time smiling reassuringly.

"A little low," he informed as he checked the reading. "We'll retake it in a minute or so. Just try and relax, you'll soon be feeling better," he promised as he gently tucked another blanket round her shoulders.

Lilly welcomed the extra warmth and buried her head, curling into a tighter ball as she continued to shiver. She was aware of her husband's comforting hand carding through her hair and concentrated on his soothing voice as he urged her to slow her breathing.

She slowly began to calm and, after snuggling down further in the warm feather quilt her eyes started to flutter shut.

She welcomed the pull of sleep gratefully as she listened to Ben reassuring her all the while. She felt in safe hands.

Xxx

"Is she alright?" Greta asked when he returned to the bedroom to find the addition of the oxygen mask.

"She was a bit shockey," Ben smiled sadly as he took another blood pressure reading. "She's much more comfortable now though," he nodded when he noted the improvement of her vitals. "It just all caught up with her."

He then started to pack his equipment away feeling happier about his wife's condition. "She's sleeping."

"It is not surprising," Greta nodded and placed the fresh blankets he brought with him on the end of the bed. "It was a most difficult birth."

Ben adjusted Lilly's mask slightly and pulled the quilt down from her face. "I'm going to leave her on a couple of litres of oxygen," he stated as he then placed his hand on her forehead. "Her temperature is stabilising again," he smiled and straightened. "She should sleep well now." He couldn't stifle his yawn as he stretched.

"I think it's time for you to rest too," Greta placed his hand on Ben's shoulder. "I will stay with Lilly. Why don't you grab some sleep? It has been a long, stressful couple of days."

"No, I just want to be with Lilly, thanks anyway," Ben reached and patted Greta's hand.

"I think you should rest, Lilly is not going to be in a position to care for young Finn for a while and now he's sleeping as well, I really advise that you should too. I will stay with Lilly. She will be just fine."

Ben glanced from his sleeping son to his sleeping wife. He knew Greta was right he needed to recharge his batteries so he could take over when Finn woke. "You're right," he finally admitted with a sigh.

"I know," Greta grinned. "Why don't you go and introduce Finn to his family? I'm sure that the clucking women downstairs will keep an eye on him while you take a nap."

Ben turned and smiled. "Poor Finn," he chuckled.

"He will survive, as will you, as will Lilly. We are family, let us help you." Greta reached and picked up Finn's wicker cradle. "Let then cluck," he smiled as he handed the precious load to Ben. "Sleep well my boy. I will wake you if there are any problems."

Ben rocked the cradle slightly as Finn stirred and then glanced at his peacefully sleeping wife again. "Look after Lilly," he said, watching as Greta took a seat at her bedside.

"Of course," Greta nodded and took Lilly's hand in his.

"Keep her on the oxygen, change the fluid bag when it runs down but leave the nasogastric tube in (out) , I'll remove that in a while..."

"Just go..."

"...Finn shouldn't need feeding for an hour or so but wake me when he does; I'll need to help..."

"Benjamin. Please. Just go, I have this."

Ben capitulated with a heavy sigh. "Wake me if..."

"I will."

"I'll just be downstairs."

"I know."

"Thank you."

"Go and sleep."

Ben backed slowly out of the room, not really wanting to leave but knowing that Lilly was in good hands.

"Okay, young Finny," he smiled down at his son as he softly closed the door behind him. "Let's go introduce you to your family. Brace yourself!"

Xxx

"Are you comfortable?"

Hanah watched as Mari sat up straighter.

"Yes," Mari grinned and held out her arms

Hanah gently lowered her sleeping grandson into her friend's arms. "Support his head," she urged.

"I know, Mrs. Tanger," Mari rolled her eyes and sat back with the precious bundle. "Oh Hanah, he is so beautiful, tiny, but beautiful." She gently stroked Finn's face.

"Well," Hanah pulled a chair up at her side, "he is a few weeks early but Quinny and Ben say that he is perfectly healthy."

"How's Lilly?"

"Exhausted beyond belief," Hanah sighed. "She was so weak before the labour and it was a long hard fight for her to deliver her son," she admitted sadly.

Mari placed her free hand on Hanah's knee. "And are you alright, my friend? I know this is been so hard on you, considering."

Hanah sighed and patted her hand. "I felt so incredibly helpless," she admitted. "She was in so much pain and so very tired. If it had not been for Greta and Ben I am not sure I would have coped."

"Of course you would have."

Hanah shook her head. "Seriously, Mari, I was so out of my depth. I struggled so much and I feel that I have failed my daughter," she reached for her handkerchief and blew her nose as she struggled with her emotions.

"Oh, Hanah, I know how hard that must have been to see your daughter in so much pain but it's over now. This gorgeous little boy is now in our lives and Lilly will recover, with our help and support. You did a wonderful job and I am sure Lilly is so very grateful."

Hanah dabbed at her tears and gave her friend a shaky smile. "Well, I won't be able to relax until she's healthy and home. I sincerely hope she waits a few years before putting herself, and us, through this again."

"Memories will fade."

"I know, I told her that."

"Then you did your job, grandma," Mari smiled warmly and soothed Finn when he stirred in her arms.

Hanah rubbed her arm as she then pushed to her feet. "I'm just going to see if Ben is awake," she stated reaching for the empty teapot. Hanah and Mari had insisted that he get some rest as they were more than capable of looking after Finn. "I'll make a fresh pot, I'm sure he'll welcome a hot drink," she smiled as she crossed to the stove.

"Don't forget to make one for Greta," Mari reminded. "He is going stir crazy just watching your daughter sleep."

"He does it so well," Hanah chuckled as she pumped some water into a pot before placing on the stove.

"I'm just glad that the new parents are getting some rest. I don't care who is watching over them," Mari smiled.

The two ladies continued their conversation exchanging every gossip and advice, discussing everything from the weather to Mari's recovery.

Normality seemed to have returned to the Tanger household even though they knew it was going to be short lived.

Xxx

"Thank you for coming with me Niall." Cara and Niall were strolling through the fruit orchards. "I just couldn't stay there any longer," Cara sighed.

"I must admit I did feel a bit of a spare part myself," Niall nodded as he plucked an apple off a tree.

Cara accepted the apple he offered and started to rub it on her skirt. "I feel as if I don't belong," she shrugged.

"Of course you belong. Why would you think that?" Niall placed a hand on her shoulder and slowly turned her to face him. "Why would you think that, Cara," he repeated softly.

"Because," Cara ducked her head and shrugged again.

"Because?" Niall tipped her chin.

"Because it's Lilly's time. Because she needs ma and pa. Because..."

"Because of the baby?" Niall probed gently.

"No...Yes...Maybe," Cara tried to blink away the tears that suddenly filled her eyes.

"Oh, Cara," Niall quickly pulled her in for a hug. "I understand how upset you must feel," he soothed. "You've been through so much."

Cara buried her head into his chest. "I am so happy for Ben and Lilly, truly I am, but I cannot hide how much it hurts," she sniffed as she tried to reign in her emotions.

"I'm sure they understand," Niall gently stroked her hair. "Benny knows how much you've been through, heck I've never seen him so angry and upset before."

"Why did he d-do it-it?" Cara stuttered as tears began to pour down her face.

"Who? Ben?" Niall asked, assuming that Cara was referring to the skirmish at Edward's house.

"No, Edward," she turned and looked Niall in the eye. "Why did _he_ d-do i-it?

Niall reached and gently wiped her tears away with this thumb. "Because he's a monster and didn't deserve you," he sighed.

"H-he h-hurt m-me s-so m-much," Cara began to weep and Niall pulled her in closer again.

"I know, I know he did Cara and we all hate him for doing that to you," he soothed. "You deserve so much better, Cara Tanger," he rocked her as she wept uncontrollably in his arms. "Let it all out, Cara, just let it all out. Things will be much brighter soon, you'll see."

Niall Wenton's heart was breaking for the emotionally devastated young woman. No one should go through what she had. He felt so sorry for both of the Tanger girls actually, as he knew that Lilly would be equally upset for her sister.

"Give it time, Cara, things will work out," he promised as Cara slowly began to calm. "You're so strong," he kissed the top of her head and then tipped her chin again. "Do you feel up to a stroll to the lake? Might make you feel better," he asked as he brushed away her tears again.

"I would like that very much," Cara gave him a shaky smiled and took some deep breaths. "Thank you Niall, for being with me." she said as he took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"My pleasure," Niall smiled and led the way down the narrow path that led to Penten Lake.

It was a beautiful warm spring day. The birds were singing and the spring flowers were in full bloom. Thinks were beginning to look brighter already, well to Niall they were.

Cara Tanger would be fine too, with the love and support of her loved ones. Niall Wenton would make sure of that.

Xxx

"I see you're hungry," Ben chuckled as he watched Lilly run her finger round her bowl, catching every last drop of Mari's famous potato soup.

"Starving," she grinned as she licked her fingers. "Is there more?"

"Let's see how if this stays down first, shall we," Ben continued to chuckle as he removed Lilly's supper tray. It was so wonderful to see his wife eat with such an appetite.

Lilly sneaked another swipe before Ben placed the tray on the floor and then sat back and crossed her arms. "Now what?" she sighed.

The Ashton family had enjoyed a five-hour nap, Finn included, and were feeling so much better for it.

Ben sat crossed legged on the bed and started to remove Lilly's IV, as she no longer needed fluids because she was eating and drinking so well. "Now we wait for our son to decide he's hungry too," he smiled and reached for an alcohol wipe.

"I cannot believe he's slept so long," Lilly's sigh was almost impatient. She felt so much better and longed to inspect her baby without the fog of exhaustion.

"Well." Ben applied pressure to the puncture wound left by the needle. "I think he was as exhausted as you were," he said, turning to place the discarded equipment in the paper disposal bag on the bedside cabinet," he sighed, sat back in bed and pulled Lilly into his arms.

"Is that safe," Lilly asked as she relaxed in his hold.

"Perfectly," Ben nodded. "It is a drug we use often during child birth on earth. It does have a tendency to make the newborn drowsy but quickly wears off."

"Well, I wish it would hurry up," Lilly huffed. "I would like to get to know my son!"

Ben kissed the top of her head. "Patience grasshopper," he grinned.

"I do tire of your Earth sayings, Benjamin," Lilly sighed. "They are not funny."

"Well, to you they're not. To me they're hilarious," Ben chucked and Lilly slapped his arm.

"Enough, Benjamin Ashton!" She scolded light heartedly.

"Sorry Lilly," Ben relented with a twinkle in his eyes. It was too easy to wind up his wife.

When Finn squeaked and moved his arm, they both sat forward expectantly but leaned back again with a sigh when he settled and continued to snuffle.

"Well, this is fun," Ben grinned.

"I do believe it is like watching paint dry," Lilly giggled.

"Good one," Ben chuckled.

They both sat and watched their son again, Ben tapping his fingers on Lilly's arm and Lilly picking at the loose threads on the quilt.

"So," Ben cleared his throat and re started conversation. "You're feeling better?"

"Much," Lilly nodded.

"Good."

"And you?"

"Much."

"Good."

"So..." Ben sighed.

"Yes?"

"Nothing."

Lilly rolled her eyes and shook her head. This conversation was going nowhere fast.

Xxx

"Ow! Should it hurt?"

The new parents had sat in almost silence for nearly an hour, watching and waiting for their son to decide that he was hungry.

"What hurts?"

Finn was now latched firmly on his mother's breast and feeding hungrily.

"My stomach," Lilly complained, shifting slightly to take the pressure off.

Ben placed his hand on her abdomen. "It's just your uterus contracting. Perfectly normal when you breast feed," he reassured.

"Oh," Lilly nodded and sat back against her pillows. "It is a most odd sensation," she admitted, rubbing her stomach with her free hand.

"All normal," Ben repeated confidently and then tenderly stroked his son's head as he continued to feed. "He's hungry now Lils," he grinned.

"Yes, he is," Lilly returned the grin and then winched suddenly. "Ow, does he have teeth?" She asked as Finn suckled noisily.

"No, not yet," Ben chuckled, "but he is greedy," he reached and placed a pillow under Lilly's arm. "This might take some pressure off," he said as he gently eased Finn on to it so he was not cradled in her arms. "Does that make a difference?" He asked as Lilly changed position to accommodate the change.

"Yes, that's better," she smiled.

"It's just going to be a case of trial and error for a while," Ben sat back against the headboard again and watched as his wife relaxed as she fed her son.

"It seems most odd to me," she sighed. "I mean, just a few days ago this young man was in my stomach and now he's lying at my side, feeding off me as if he's always been here," she turned her head and grinned. "Does it seem odd to you to?" She asked her husband.

"Absolutely," Ben agreed, reached, and brushed her hair out of her eyes. "We're a family now Lils, can you believe it? It's Benjamin, Lilly and Finn Ashton now!"

"I know! It's amazing," Lilly beamed.

Ben leaned forward and tenderly kissed his wife on the lips. "I love you," he murmured when they finally pulled a part. "Thank you for my son," he added, nipping her nose.

"No, thank you for being with me, for supporting me, for loving me." Lilly smiled with tears in her eyes.

"There is nowhere I'd rather be than at your side, loving you," Ben carded fingers through her curls and Lilly leaned back into his arms with contented sigh.

She couldn't believe she was in the arms of the man who she loved with all her heart with the son, who she loved equally, lying contentedly in hers.

This moment had seemed a long way away but now she was blissfully happy, happier than she had ever been in her life!


	12. Chapter 12

"Can we come in?" Greta and Mari poked their heads around Lilly's door and smiled.

"Of course you can," Lilly smiled back, closed her book and placed it on her cabinet.

It was now the day after Finn's birth and Lilly was getting into some sort of a routine. Finn had slept well over night, as had she and her husband. He was feeding every three hours and Lilly was happy to remain in bed and put all her energy into caring for her son. She felt so much better, she was eating well, actually enjoying her food for the first time in nine months. Hanah had helped her to have a bath first thing and it felt so good to have clean hair, clean clothes and clean bed linen. She had been content to either read or nap between Finn's feeds but was now pleased to have some company for a while.

"How are you feeling, Lilly?" Greta asked as he sat and took her hand.

"I feel good," Lilly grinned.

"No pain?"

"Nope."

"Is Finn feeding alright?"

"Like a dream."

"You did so wonderfully well, my child," Greta squeezed her hand and smiled.

"Funny," Lilly cleared her throat. "Ma said that I would forget all the bad things about the birth and she was right," she nodded slowly.

Mari sat on the end of the bed, next to the crib where Finn was sleeping. "It was all worth it in the end, Lilly," she smiled. "Finn is absolutely adorable."

"We think so too." Lilly agreed, beaming from ear to ear.

"Young Benjamin is walking around with the biggest smile on his face," Greta reached and poured Lilly a glass of juice. "I do believe he is the happiest man on the planet," he nodded and handed Lilly the drink.

"And on his other planet," Lilly chuckled as she accepted the drink.

"Do you need anything?" Mari interjected, smoothing Finn's covers.

"I don't think so," Lilly answered and took a sip of juice. "I think ma has everything covered. I haven't had to lift a finger."

"That is how it should be," Greta smiled.

"Well, we do have some gifts for you and young Finn," Mari reached for her bag. "They are not much, just tokens of our love and affection." She handed Lilly three neatly wrapped parcels.

"You shouldn't have," Lilly sighed.

"Yes we should," Greta patted her hand. "Go on, child, open them," he urged when Lilly just sat and stared at the gifts.

"Okay," she glanced up and grinned. "Which one first?" She asked as she felt the parcels.

"It does not matter."

Lilly tore at the paper off the first gift. "Oh, Mari, Greta, this is b-beautiful," her voice hitched as she fingered the exquisitely crafted beaded bracelet."

"We thought you deserved something pretty," Mari smiled.

"I will treasure it forever," Lilly nodded sincerely. "Thank you."

"Our pleasure now, on to the next one," Greta pushed the next gift into her hands.

"You're spoiling us," Lilly shook her head as she opened the gift. "Oh, I love it!" She beamed as she held up a blue knitted hooded cardigan. "How did you know it was going to be a boy?" She asked as she turned the cardigan over to inspect the embroidered bears on the back.

"I didn't," Mari shrugged. "There is a pink and yellow one exactly the same in my bag if you want one."

Lilly laughed and grabbed her hand. "That's just wonderful. Thank you."

"Well, I had a lot of time on my hands. It kept me occupied and helped with my recovery."

"I'm so glad," Lilly gave her hand a squeeze. "You're doing so well and I have missed you so much."

"And I you," Mari nodded with tears in her eyes.

"Okay, you two," Greta interrupted the slushy moment. "Enough with the tears, this is my gift to young Finn," he stated and passed Lilly the final gift.

"Okay, here we go," Lilly grinned as she carefully opened it. She stopped when she saw what Greta had given her. "I can't accept this," she stated and started to wrap it back up.

"Yes you can," Greta placed his hand on hers. "I want him to have it."

"But, Greta, your parents gave you this."

"I know and, if I'd had a son I would have passed it on to him. Finn is the closest I will ever have to a son and I want him to pass it on through generations to come."

Lilly wiped at her tears before reaching into the box again to remove the polished wooden trinket box that had always had pride of place on the Quinn's mantle. She knew that Greta's father had spent months finding the perfect tree to craft the special gift for his son and that the piece was extremely special to the elderly Platon.

"I just d-don't k-know what to s-say," she stuttered as she held and examined it. "It is so beautiful," she sighed and then turned to Greta once more. "I know Finn will treasure this for all his life."

"Then I am a happy man!"

"Okay, enough with the tears." It was Mari's turn to interject and she did so with a laugh. "We will leave you to you rest, Lilly," she added, patting Lilly's blanket covered foot. "We are returning home now and expect you and your son to visit us at your earliest convenience," she added as she gently kissed Finn's forehead.

"Keep well," Greta stood and pulled Lilly in for a hug.

"I will," Lilly returned the hug and Greta stood to one side to allow Mari access to the young mother.

"We are both thrilled for you," she said as she too then hugged Lilly. "The gods have blessed you and your wonderful husband with such a special child."

"Thank you, both."

"We will go and say our goodbyes to young Benjamin," Greta added as they crossed to the door.

"Talking about my husband," Lilly frowned. "Do you have any idea where he is?"

"I do believe your mother has him washing dippers," Mari grinned from the doorway.

"Lucky him," Lilly's chuckle ended with a jaw crackling yawn.

"Get some rest," Greta urged.

"I will," Lilly placed her gifts to one side and snuggled down in bed once more.

"We will see you soon," Mari gently pulled the door too, watching as Lilly turned on her side with a sigh of contentment.

This truly had been a wonderful day!

Xxx

Whereas, yesterday had been wonderful today was anything but.

Lilly's milk had come in overnight, making her breast feel very heavy and sore and her son had been cranky and demanding.

It had taken her most of the morning to settle him but he was now, thankfully, sleeping in the crib while she sat in floods of tears as her mother brushed her hair.

"Don't cry, sweetheart," Hanah soothed as she started to plat her daughter's long hair. She'd found Lilly sobbing and pacing the room with her screaming son slung over her shoulder and had quickly stepped in to help. She drew Lilly a bath and while she relaxed in it, she'd changed her grandson and rocked him to sleep. Lilly had calmed down while she bathed but, when Hanah mentioned her fond memories of brushing her girl's hair when they were young, her tears began anew.

"I've m-missed t-this s-so m-much," Lilly hiccupped. She knew she was being irrational but her emotions were all over the place.

"You know what this is?" Hanah quickly tied a ribbon in Lilly's hair, sat at her side and took her hand. "This is the 'day three blues'," she smiled tenderly and wiped Lilly's tears with her handkerchief.

"I-I k-know," Lilly hiccupped again. "I-It's s-so s-stupid."

"No it's not, sweetheart. It's perfectly normal; all women go through this after childbirth. It is just your hormones. Goodness me, I put your father through hell the first few days after your birth," she reached and pulled her daughter in for a one armed hug. "The poor man brought me a woodland flower to cheer me up and I snapped at him, I told him I wanted _two _woodland flowers and then burst into tears! My mother sat me down, just as I am doing with you and gave me a good talking to, a little tender loving care and a promise that I wouldn't feel like this forever. And, you know what? She was right." Hanah rubbed her daughter's arm as she began to calm and offered her handkerchief again when she started to sniff.

Lilly smiled sadly as she accepted it. "Thanks ma," she said and then blew her nose. "I'm sorry," she added and slowly pushed out of her mother's embrace.

"Ack, nothing to be sorry for, lovely," Hanah patted her knee and then stood. "How about we get you dressed," she smiled as she crossed to the closet. "I think that, if you put something other than nightclothes or hospital gowns on you'll feel much better," she said as she rifled through Lilly's clothes and then pulled out a floral skirt and a loose, plain cotton blouse. "It's a lovely warm day today. Why don't we take Finn out to get some sun on his face? We could sit on the porch swing, drink iced lemonade and wait for the men to return from the stone ring." She crossed to Lilly's side, placed the outfit in her arms and kissed the top of her head. "They will be on their way back now, let's surprise them."

Lilly reached up and patted the motherly hand that was placed on her shoulder. "I'd like that," she turned her head and smiled.

"Good," Hanah smiled back before squeezing her shoulder again. "Right, then," she stated as she crossed to the dresser to retrieve some undergarments. "Let's get you sorted."

Xxx

Ben pulled Clancy to halt and smiled fondly at the sight of his wife, nursing their son while swinging on the porch swing. She looked stunningly beautiful, her curls tamed into a neat plat that hung over one shoulder and her red, white and yellow floral skirt matched the spring Mandanan countryside.

He clambered down from the buggy to assist his father in law, who was unloading the many gifts that had been sent by SGC, but was itching to run to his wife's side.

The whole of SG1 had gathered to hear about the birth of baby Ashton and had been overjoyed for them. They had informed him that the whole base had collected money to purchase some luxuries, not only for Finn, but also for the whole family and, as he lifted an extremely heavy box, Ben knew that Samantha Carter had been busy in a book store.

"You'd best take that over to Lilly," Sergi grinned as Ben pulled out one of the books. "I'll get the rest of these into the house," he said as he reached into the buggy for the next box.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, just go." Sergi placed the box on top of the growing pile. "This won't take me long."

"Thanks," Ben didn't need telling twice and he turned and jogged toward his family, smiling broadly when Lilly looked up waved.

Xxx

"Let me take Finn," Ben held his hands out for his son and Lilly gently handed him over before buttoning up her blouse.

"How's he been?" Ben then asked as he sat at her side and started to burp the drowsy baby.

"We had a difficult morning," Lilly admitted with a sigh, "but Grandma sorted us both out." She reached and grabbed the glass of lemonade that her husband had brought her.

"Ma told me that you'd been really upset," Ben rested Finn over his arm and rubbed his back. "All completely normal."

"I know," Lilly nodded as she sipped her drink. "'Day three blues'," she shrugged and smiled.

"Yup." Ben grinned. "You look better now," he told her, moving Finn to his shoulder.

"I feel better too," Lilly nodded as she placed her glass back on the floor. "I had a lovely bath with some of Sam's luxury bubbles and changing out of my nightwear makes me feel like I am rejoining the world again."

"Well, you look beautiful, Lils," Ben reached out with his free hand and stroked her cheek.

"Thank you," Lilly ducked her head and smiled.

"Talking about Sam, aren't you going to open her box?" Ben nodded toward the box he'd placed next to her. "I'm sure there's going to be something new for you to read," he grinned.

Lilly returned the grin and then quickly turned to delve into the box.

Ben watched her excitingly sort through the books before pulling out one in particular.

"Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone," she read out as she traced the words with her fingers.

"Ah, you'll love that," Ben nodded. "Why don't you lose yourself in it for a few hours," he suggested as he stood. "I'm going to introduce our son to Grandpa's chickens," he said as he started to cross the courtyard. "Oh, and Lilly," he paused and turned. "Don't get any ideas about calling our next child Harry," he grinned. "I hate that name; it reminds me of a particularly nasty major on earth."

"Spoil sport," Lilly grouched light-heartedly and then pulled her legs onto the seat, settled back, and started to read.

The adventures of the young trainee wizard quickly captivated her.

Xxx

Cara and Niall lay on a blanket under a willow tree watching the birds feed their young. It was another stunning day and when Niall had suggested a picnic by the lake, Cara had been more than happy.

She was finding it increasingly difficult at home. Everyone was so wrapped up in Lilly and the new arrival that she felt almost pushed out. It was as if everyone had forgotten about the hard time she'd experienced, everyone but Niall Wenton that was.

She honestly didn't know if she could cope with things if it wasn't for the support of the young farmer.

It was funny but she'd barely taken any notice of Niall before. She viewed him as a rather silly friend of her sister and husband, someone who was always at family gatherings, and she often wondered why. She understood the connection between him and Ben. Niall had been seriously injured in a farming accident and left to die but Ben had stepped in and performed what Niall always refers to as 'the miracle' and had saved his life. Unfortunately, Earth's medicine and technology couldn't save his leg, not that that stopped the young, enthusiastic, bordering on manic, young man.

The bond between the two men had always been strong and, when it came time for Ben and Lilly to wed, Niall had been the obvious choice as best man to and, ever since then, he and the Ashton family had been almost inseparable.

Cara had always found him annoying and loud but she was now seeing a quieter more gentle side of his personality and was becoming increasingly fond of him.

The picnic, prepared by Niall himself, had been wonderful and she felt relaxed in his company as they lay side by side talking.

"It's funny," Cara sighed running her fingers through the grass, "everywhere I look at the moment there are babies."

Niall slowly nodded. "It's only because that is what is uppermost in your mind at the moment."

"I know, but it doesn't make things any easier to deal with."

"Things will get better in time."

Cara thought for a moment or two and then flopped back onto her back with a heavy sigh. "What a complete nightmare!" She exclaimed, tugging at her hair. "Only last week I thought I was blissfully happy, that everything in my life was right on track. Now it's an utter mess. I've gone from looking forward to setting up a home, maybe getting married and having my own child, another little one for Lilly's child to play with but all that's gone and I feel numb. My life is in ruins."

"Oh, Cara it's not, I promise. You need to view this as a new beginning, put it all behind you and move on to a new life."

Cara felt tears spring in her eyes again as she turned her head to face Niall. "I'm not sure I can start again, Ni," she sniffed.

"Of course you can," Niall reached and brushed away her tears. "I know you, if anyone can do it you can and I'll be only a call away if you need anything, anything at all."

Cara gave him a shaky smile. "Thank you Niall."

Niall sighed and flopped on his back too. "Nothing to thank me for, Cara, just being a friend," he turned his head and smiled.

Cara felt his hand in hers. She wanted to pull away, she didn't want to lead him on, but it actually felt good to have someone care for her and they both then returned to their bird watching, neither saying a word as if it was the natural thing to do.

Xxx

Lilly sat on the bed and popped out two Tylenol capsules from the blister pack. The dull headache she'd woken with was now a thumping pulse behind her eyes.

Finn had kept her up most of the night and she was now running on fumes as she tried to make sure they had everything packed and ready for their return to the cottage.

The past week seemed to have flown by and, though she was so grateful for everyone's support and help, she couldn't wait to take Finn home so they could start to be a family, in their own home, surrounded by their own things.

Ben was on his way to the cottage on his first trip. They'd received so many wonderful gifts that it was going to take a couple of runs to transport everything and Lilly was folding the last of Finn's clothes after spending most of the morning feeding and nursing him. Her breasts were sore and she felt wiped out so the idea of snuggling down in her own bed with Harry Potter and Finn Ashton was very appealing at the moment.

After swallowing down the capsules, she turned and grabbed the last holdall and started to pack again. Finn lay in the middle of the bed, his arms flung over his head, softly snuffling as he slept. Lilly smiled contently at the sight of her son at peace as she folded another gown, he really was such a beautiful baby and she could hardly believe that he was hers, that she and Ben produced something so wonderful. After placing the gown in the holdall, she lay at his side and tenderly stroked his face, feeling such overwhelming love for him. He had completely changed her world.

"Right, Mrs. Ashton, I've got all your towels nicely aired."

She smiled up at her mother when she suddenly came barging into the room.

"Oh, sorry my love, were you resting?"

"No, Ma, I was just watching my little boy sleep," Lilly sighed as she slowly levered her tired body up into a sitting position.

"He is beautiful," Hanah grinned and placed the bundle of towels on the end of the bed. "You were a beautiful baby too," she continued, passing Lilly the top towel to pack. "He is so very tiny and delicate, unlike Cara who was extremely robust and very vocal."

Lilly accepted the towel and placed it in the holdall. "I remember when Cara was small, she was always shouting and singing," she grinned back.

"Where as you would sit for hours totally absorbed in your books, nothing much has changed," she nodded toward the open book and grabbed the next towel.

"Ma, is Cara alright about all of this?" Lilly asked softly as they continued to pack.

"All of what?"

"You know, Finn, me being a mother..." Lilly sighed. "I know it can't be easy for her under the circumstances."

Hanah reached and took her hand. "Your sister will be just fine," she reassured her daughter with a smile.

"It's just that she's not spent much time with me or Finn in the past few days. It feels like she's been avoiding us."

Hanah shook her head and chuckled. "I think you might find that someone else has taken your sister's mind off of her troubles," she said as she passed Lilly the last towel.

"Oh?"

"Young Niall has been very supportive over the past few days."

"Really?" Lilly grinned as she zipped up the full holdall.

"Well, they have been taking very long strolls in the woods and last night at supper I noticed that Niall was holding her hand under the table."

"That's wonderful, I am thrilled, he's such a good man and Cara deserves someone kind to look after her."

"Let's not get our hopes up too much; we don't want to ruin things."

"No, indeed," Lilly agreed. "But it would be just perfect if they found love, though," she nodded and then instantly regretted the motion when her head reminded her that it ached. She reached up and started to massage her temples.

"Are you all right?" Hanah asked, immediately noticing her distress.

"Just a headache."

"Are you sure? Perhaps I should fetch Benjamin..."

"Don't fuss ma, it's just a headache, nothing more."

"Have you taken anything for it?"

"Yes, I'm fine. It will pass," Lilly glanced up and smiled.

"You're looking pale Lilly."

"Please ma, I'm fine," Lilly repeated and grabbed her mother's hand. "Honestly. I'm just tired."

Hanah sighed, observed her daughter for a while and then lifted the holdall off the bed. "Why don't you nap while your son sleeps? Benjamin will be at least another two hours. You have time to rest." She reached and turned down the quilt, mindful of her sleeping grandson.

"No, it's okay, ma," Lilly began to protest. "I was just coming down to help you with the bread breaking. I can't expect..."

"The bread making is in hand," Hanah interrupted and gently pushed Lilly down onto the pillows. "Finn kept you up most of the night and you haven't yet recovered all your strength from the birth. Just rest, the journey home will be difficult, take the time to sleep."

Lilly sighed again as her mother then gently tucked her in. She wanted to argue but she was very tired. "You win ma," she surrendered.

"Good girl," Hanah smiled softly as she smoothed her covers. "Do you want me to take Finn down with me?" She offered as she then crossed and closed the drapes.

"He's fine here," Lilly mumbled and turned onto her side so she faced her sleeping son. "If you wake him he'll just scream the place down."

"Okay, my love." Hanah crossed and tenderly kissed both her daughter and her grandson's foreheads. "I will be downstairs if you need anything," she whispered as she backed out of the room.

"Thanks, ma."

Lilly took Finn's tiny hand and snuggled down. She would allow herself to rest but only for a short while. She still had much to do.


	13. Chapter 13

"Shh...Shh...hold on Finn." Lilly gently rocked her son as she fumbled with her blouse. "I know you're hungry, just give me a minute."

Finn's crying had pulled Lilly from her sleep and had escalated her still pounding headache.

"Okay, okay, here you go," she mumbled as Finn greedily latched onto her breast. "I know you're hungry," she repeated as she scooted up in bed, rested her aching head against the headboard, and closed her eyes.

The drapes at the window were billowing in the warm breeze and the sun's rays streamed into the room making it feel overly warm. Lilly ran a shaky hand through her sweat soaked curls and sighed miserably, so much for feeling fine.

Her headache was steadily growing and she was dizzy and bordering on nauseous. "Damn it," she mumbled when she placed the back of hand on her forehead. The heat under her touch, coupled with aching limbs confirmed her suspicions of a growing fever. Her sleep had been very restless, macabre dreams of dead babies had assailed her and now she knew why.

"It's okay, sweetheart," she soothed and repositioned Finn when he squirmed in her arms. "Mami's got you." Carefully cradling her son in position she inched slowly toward the bedside cabinet and, with one hand, poured herself a glass of water.

"I think mami's sick, Finny," she admitted softly after draining the glass. "Actually, I know mami's sick," she amended when the room looped around her, "and I don't think papi is not going to be very pleased. We won't be going home today poppet, I am sure of that," she added and rested her head back again.

Lilly continued to nurse her son, feeling wiped out and increasingly unwell. She so wanted to go home but knew that the fever and general feeling of illness pointed to the fact that she had an infection somewhere and when Finn's sucking petered out, she gently hoisted him onto her shoulder and made her way to the window.

The fresh breeze felt wonderful against her hot skin and she rested her forehead on the cool glass as she patted her son's back to encourage him to burp. She watched as Ben loaded their possessions on to the cart and was of two minds whether to tell him she felt ill or not. She could wait until they were home so they could deal with things without worrying her mother but, when she started to shiver, she knew she should seek out medical help sooner rather than later.

She gently lowered Finn, face down across her lap and opened the window wider.

"B-ben," she called after clearing her throat.

"Hey Lilliput!" Her husband glanced up, grinned and waved.

"Can you come here, my love," she sighed as she rubbed Finn's back.

"What's up?"

She watched as Ben wiped his hands on his pants after handing a crate to Niall.

"I'm not feeling very well," she admitted, giving him a wan smile before resting her forehead against the glass again.

"I'm on my way."

She sighed as Ben exchanged a worried glance with Niall before jogging into the house and then felt tears of disappointment spring into her eyes.

She so wanted to go home.

Xxx

"102.8," Ben placed the thermometer back on the cabinet and smiled sadly at his wife. "Oh, Lils," he placed his hand on her forehead. "I think you've got an infection somewhere," he sighed.

"I know," Lilly echoed the sigh and sank into her pillows again.

Ben sat back, took Lilly's hand in his and studied his wife. She looked completely drained, her eyes were black and sunken, her face flushed and her breathing was almost as rapid as the pulse under his fingers.

"How long have you been feeling like this?" He asked as he then checked the lymph nodes in her neck.

"I felt a little off this morning but thought I was just tired as Finn didn't let me sleep much last night," Lilly sighed again. "But I've had a headache most of the day and the fever hit out of nowhere when I woke up from my nap. I have felt progressively sicker since and am dizzy and nauseous, "she admitted sadly, placing her Platon hat on to impart as much information as she could.

Ben carefully unbuttoned her blouse completely and started to examine her breasts. "Does this hurt?" He watched her face for reaction.

"They're just sore," Lilly shrugged.

"Well, they're not hot or lumpy and there's no discharge so that's normal. Do you have a sore throat?"

Lilly shook her head.

"Cough?"

Lilly shook her head again. "I just feel ill," she shrugged again. "I'm worried."

Ben placed the bell of his stethoscope on her chest. "Lungs sound clear," he smiled and then hung it back round his neck again. "How's your discharge," he asked and helped Lilly to lie flat.

"The same, I think," Lilly closed her eyes as Ben then pulled her skirt down slightly.

"Sorry, Lils, my hands are cold," he apologised as he checked her pad. "I think I've found the problem." It was his turn to sigh as he then placed his hands on her abdomen and pressed down slightly.

"That's painful," Lilly admitted, biting her bottom lip.

"I know, I'm sorry."

Ben stood and covered Lilly with a quilt as she began to shiver again. "Looks like a uterine infection, my love," he informed her as he perched on the side of the bed and carded his fingers through her curls.

"We call it 'bed fever' here," Lilly smiled sadly. "I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Because you wanted to go home," Lilly closed her eyes again and was helpless to prevent a tear from escaping.

"Oh, Lilly, it's okay. These things happen. You just have to concentrate on getting well again my love," he soothed.

"I j-just w-want t-to g-go h-home," Lilly hiccupped as more tears fell. She felt awful and when Finn's growing cries of protest started again the noise sent daggers of pain through her head. She curled into a ball and pulled her covers over her head.

"I c-can't d-deal w-with h-him n-now," she sobbed softly.

Ben crossed and picked up his son. "When is he due to feed?" He asked as he rocked him.

"Not for hours," Lilly's covers muffled her reply.

"Okay, I'm going to take him down to your mother, she can see to him and then I'm going to come back and get some antibiotics into you," he crossed and rubbed Lilly's covered back. "I won't be long, Lils."

"K-kay," Lilly mumbled as she started to shiver again. She hated that fact that she just couldn't cope with her own son at the moment.

Motherhood wasn't supposed to be like this and she was so scared...

Xxx

"Can you look after Finn for a little while?" Ben walked into the lounge where Hanah and Sergi sat reading.

"Of course," Hanah smiled, stood and reached for her grandson. "What time are you leaving?" She asked as she rocked the still crying boy.

Ben scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I'm not sure we'll be going anywhere for a while," he admitted with a heavy sigh.

"Oh?" Sergi looked up from his book.

"Lilly's not feeling well," Ben smiled sadly. "I think she's got an infection," he scrubbed at his hair again.

"Is she going to be all right?" Hanah sprang to her feet. "You do have some earth drugs to stop the infection, don't you?" She asked urgently. "I mean, you do know how to treat her, don't you?" She gently rocked Finn when he began to wriggle in her arms.

"She's going to be just fine," Ben reassured her. "I'm just going to get some medication into her and persuade her to rest but I think we'll put off going home for a few days, if that's okay with you?"

"Of course it is." Hanah sighed with relief and lowered herself into her chair, gently cradling her grandson. "Can we do anything to help?"

"Just look after Finn for me while I sort Lilly out."

"No problem. Just concentrate on our daughter."

Ben smiled sadly and then went in search of his med bag, feeling so devastated for his sick wife. He knew how much she wanted to go home and start the next phase of their lives.

Xxx

"Ben?" Lilly curled round the pain in her abdomen as she struggled upright. Finn's crying had woken her, as it had done several times through the night. She rolled her head to one side and watched Ben pace with their screaming son.

"Does he need feeding again?" She ran a shaky hand through her hair and rubbed her temples.

"I'm sorry love," Ben smiled sadly as he rocked Finn.

"Not your fault," Lilly sighed as she undid her nightgown.

Ben sat at her side, plucked a pillow from the floor, rested Finn on it and helped him latch onto his mother's breast. He was feeding every two hours and Lilly was exhausted.

Lilly continued to rub her temples as Finn began to feed and Ben placed his hand on her forehead.

"Oh, Lils, you're still so hot," he sighed and reached for some Tylenol. "I think you're due some of these," he smiled as he helped Lilly take a sip of water to wash the medication down. "How's the pain?" He asked when he then noticed Lilly rub her stomach.

"Well, I've been through childbirth this pain is nothing," she tried to make light of the burning abdominal pain but failed miserably when she grimaced instead of smiling.

Ben leaned back and repositioned the pillow so Finn lay half on his lap and pulled her in for a one armed hug.

"This sucks, hey?" He sighed.

"No fun," Lilly agreed, turning slightly so she could rest her head on his shoulder. "I feel horrible," she added tiredly.

"I bet," Ben kissed the top of her head gently. "I'm so sorry, Lilly. I wish there was a quick way I could make this all better my love."

"I know, me too," Lilly mumbled and closed her eyes. Her head hurt so much.

"It's okay to go back to sleep, Lils," Ben kissed the top of her head. "I'll see to Finn when he's finished."

"'Kay."

Lilly was aware of Ben softly soothing their son as he began to wriggle. He was trying to latch on to her breast again after losing contact for a few seconds and when she felt the now familiar feeling of her son suckling once more, she allowed herself to give in to her exhaustion and illness, knowing that Ben had everything in hand.

Xxx

"Morning."

Sergi looked up from his breakfast and smiled sadly at his dishevelled son in law as he stumbled into the kitchen with his sleeping son slung over his shoulder. "Bad night?"

"You could say that," Ben yawned as he took a seat the kitchen table.

"How's Lilly?" Hanah reached over and poured him a cup of tea.

"Still not very well," Ben shrugged, "and it didn't help that this young man decided he wanted to feed every two hours," he sighed as he rubbed Finn's back.

Sergi stood and held his hands out. "Come to grandpi," he said and gently lifted Finn off Ben's shoulder. "Let your papi have something to eat in peace," he smiled and cradled the still sleeping child.

"Thanks," Ben smiled back and then rested his head in his hands. "What a nightmare," he groaned.

The early morning feed had seemed to last for hours. Lilly had slept through most of it, her temperature beginning to climb again with the sun. Ben had managed to wake her to take some more medication and she'd immediately curled back onto her side and buried her head under the covers afterwards. He knew that uterine infections were not only painful but made the woman feel very ill and he felt so sorry for her.

"Is there anything we can do?" Sergi rested a comforting hand on his shoulder as he rocked Finn.

Ben straightened, leaned back in his chair and scrubbed a hand through his hair. "You could breast feed Finn for her," he sighed.

"Sorry, that's one thing we can't do, I'm afraid," Sergi chuckled, wandering over to the kitchen window to show his grandson the outside world. "That would be impossible, as much as we'd like to."

"We'll just have to manage then," Ben reached for his tea. "It's time like these that you really appreciate the wonders of women," he admitted as he took a sip.

"It is about time you men realised our worth," Hanah grinned, buttering a roll.

"Well, I totally appreciate all Mandanan women," Ben accepted the roll off his mother in law. "On earth a lot of the babies are bottle fed..."

"Bottle fed?"

"Yeah," Ben bit into his breakfast. "Artificial formulated milk is mass produced to simulate breast milk and mixed in a bottle which is sucked through a teat by the baby. It means that anyone can actually feed the baby. It gives the mother more time to rest and recover from the birth."

"Oh my goodness!" Hanah exclaimed in surprise. "I have never heard of such a thing," she tutted, shaking her head. "Surely that is not as nutritious as a mother's breast milk?"

"It's not far off," Ben nodded as he continued to eat. "Babies seem to thrive just as well on the formula and I suppose the father feels more included as they can take their turn to feed their child. I must admit that I feel helpless to do much to help Lilly at the moment, other than sympathise and help make her as comfortable as possible," he admitted. "What happens on Mandana if the mother is too sick to nurse or worse?" He then asked, pushing his plate away.

Hanah wiped her mouth on a napkin before retching to clear the table. "We have nursing mothers to call on," she informed as she piled the plates together. "Other new mothers will step in and feed a child not their own if necessary, not that it happens often, most births are much easier than Lilly's," she paused and took a deep breath. "Although many, many mothers have been known to fall sick with what we call 'bed fever' after the birth and sadly pass away," she continued. "We just do our best to help their babies but it is not always possible and some babies p-pass as well," she admitted, clearing her throat when her voice wavered as she imparted the information.

"That's awful."

Hanah lifted her pile of plates. "That is why we will be eternally grateful to Earth's wisdom and guidance," she smiled softly. "Without your medication, Lilly would be struggling to survive."

Ben watched his mother in law blink her way her tears at the admission and the reminder of how primitive Mandana was, hit home with force again. The fact that, in the past his wife would have been left to die shocked and upset him so much that he had to look away so Hanah could not see his own tears.

"As it is," Hanah cleared her throat again, obviously realising how upset he was, "your miracle medication will do its work and my daughter will be feeling well soon. Young Finn will have his mother back fit and strong before he knows it and, in time, all this will be a distant memory." She crossed to the sink with the plates. "So, helping her feed her son is the least we can do," she smiled and kissed her grandson's head as she joined her husband at the window.

Ben took a deep breath and managed to pull himself together. "Thank you for your support," he turned and smiled at his in laws.

"Our pleasure," Hanah smiled back. "Now, eat your breakfast, young man," she scolded light heartedly. "And I'll prepare my daughter some oats, she will need to try and eat to keep her strength up."

Xxx

"Are you okay, my love?" Sergi pulled his wife in for one armed hug.

"N-not r-really," Hanah stuttered.

"I know how hard this is for you," he planted a kiss in Hanah's hair, jiggling Finn as he began to squirm. "Benjamin knows what he's doing."

"I know," Hanah blew her nose. "I just wish he'd been here twenty years ago," she sighed sadly.

"I know me too," Sergi agreed. "Me too..."


	14. Chapter 14

Lilly rested her forehead on the toilet rim for a second or two before reaching up and flushing. Dreadful nausea had pulled her from her sleep and she'd only just managed to stagger to the bathroom in time.

She sat back against the wall and panted to control her rapid breathing. She was very tempted to just curl up in a ball on the floor but when the icy chill of a soaring temperature caused her to shiver she stood, with the aid of the side of the bath, and made her way back into the bedroom.

The morning sun that blazed through the open window was very welcoming but the cool breeze that accompanied it caused her to shiver even more so she closed the window. She wanted no more than to climb into bed and snuggle down in the warmth of her quilt but when she looked into Finn's crib, she found it empty. Her high temperature was clouding memory and she had no idea how long it was since she last fed him but her breasts felt firm and sore so figured that he must be due to feed soon.

She was feeling so ill that she could cry, her head pounded, her body ached and her stomach was so very painful, painful enough that she struggled to stand straight and had to lean over slightly as she made her slow way out of the bedroom.

When she began to feel dizzy and light-headed again, she stopped at the top of the stairs and rested her head back against the wall.

"Ben?" She called and slowly sank to the floor, using a hand against the wall to guide her descent. She rested her head on her knees and called for her husband again.

Her world was dimming and she could go no further.

Xxx

"Ben?"

Ben hung his head and sighed before swinging his legs off the sofa. Finn had been so content in his grandfather's arms that he'd agreed to try to grab some sleep while everything was so peaceful. He'd checked on his wife and was pleased to find that her fever was down a notch or two and she was stretched out across the bed sleeping deeply. Instead of disturbing her, he'd decided to take his nap in the lounge and had gratefully sunk into the sofa, closed his eyes and had almost immediately fallen asleep.

He could hear Hanah and Cara softly talking outside and the sound of Sergi singing a soft lullaby to his grandson came from the kitchen. Things seemed in control and he made his way out of the lounge thinking that his wife must be feeling better but, when he found her sitting miserably on the landing, his heart sank.

"Oh Lilly," he sighed as he took the stairs two at a time. "Let's get you back to bed." He knelt at her side and stroked her hair.

Lilly lifted what seemed to be a heavy head. "Does Finn need f-feeding?" She shivered.

Ben placed his hand on her burning forehead. "Finn's fine," he smiled tenderly, "but you're not. Come on, back to bed." He gently helped her to her feet, guided her into the bedroom, and eased her down on the bed.

"I've b-been s-sick," Lilly stuttered as Ben covered her with a quilt.

"Why didn't you call me?" He sat on the edge of the bed and poured a glass of water.

"I d-don't k-know," Lilly shivered and leaned back against her pillows.

"I'm just going to take your temperature, Lils," Ben placed the thermometer he'd grabbed from the cabinet in her ear and held her hand as he waited for the reading. "Sorry I wasn't here," he sighed.

"S'okay."

"Finn was sleeping and you looked so comfortable taking up the _whole_ bed," Ben rolled his eyes to show her that he was only teasing. "So I grabbed a sneaky nap on the sofa," he winked.

"You're as t-tired as m-me," Lilly shuddered and closed her eyes.

Ben snorted and removed the thermometer. "I'm sure I'm not," he said as he glanced at the reading. "Okay, that's not good, Lils," he sighed.

Lilly turned her head and opened one eye. "I'm guessing, by how h-horrible I feel right now that it's p-probably around her 102 mark."

"Try 103.6," Ben replied and grabbed the water and some medication.

"No wonder I'm s-so c-cold," Lilly began to shiver violently again and Ben handed her the water and helped her swallow the capsules.

"W-what time is it?" She asked as Ben then helped her to lie back down.

"I'm not sure," Ben admitted, pulling her quilt over her, "but I'm guessing that it's nearly noon judging by the height of the sun."

"And F-finn hasn't woken for another f-feed?"

"Nope."

Lilly pushed up on one arm and started to sit again. "There's no point t-trying t-to s-sleep again," she stuttered. "He's going to need me s-soon." She tried to pull the quilt off the bed with her but Ben grabbed it first.

"I've got it," he told her as he wrapped it round her shoulders so she could snuggle into its warmth. "Is that better?" He asked as he then tenderly brushed her hair off her hot forehead.

"Y-yes," Lilly nodded.

Ben sat next to her and pulled her into his arms. She immediately let her head fall on his shoulder as she welcomed the warmth of his embrace.

"I am so f-fed up," she admitted.

"I know. You won't feel like this forever," Ben promised and pulled her in closer.

"I can't remember what it f-feels like to be w-well." Lilly wiped the tears that began to fall with the edge of the quilt. "It's not f-fair."

"No it's not Lillyput," Ben agreed and kissed top of her the head. "But you will feel better, you've just got to give the antibiotics a few days to get in your system and they'll soon kick this infection, I promise you."

He sat and rocked her as her shivering started to subside. When she went limp in his arms, he assumed that she'd fallen asleep but she soon started to squirm and pull at the quilt.

"I'm so hot," she moaned softly.

Ben pulled the quilt down and she flopped, bonelessly back against his chest.

"No fun, Benjamin Ashton."

"No fun, Lilly Ashton," Ben agreed, brushing her hair out of her eyes.

They then both sat and listened as Finn's cry soon came from downstairs followed quickly by a knock on their door.

"Come in," Ben sighed.

Hanah poked her head round the door. "Someone's hungry," she smiled.

"We heard," Ben smiled back.

Lilly struggled to sit up straighter as Hanah crossed the room to place her screaming son in her arms.

"I'm sorry, my love," Hanah smiled sadly when Lilly whimpered in pain as she struggled to help Finn latch on again.

"S'okay, Ma," Lilly rested her head back and allowed her son better access to feed.

"Do you need anything?" Hanah patted her hand.

"Some cold juice would be nice," Lilly said and tried to smile.

Hanah leaned and kissed her forehead. "Coming right up," she nodded.

"Thanks," Lilly closed her eyes again with a sigh. She felt really lousy and was happy to just lie in her husband's arms and let him support Finn's head as he greedily suckled on her breast.

As she began to lightly doze, she heard Ben ask her mother to bring up a bowl of tepid water and cloth so she got the impression that her fever was high enough for the helping hand of a bed bath and she wasn't going to complain.

She was hot, miserable and felt so ill.

Life was just not fair.

Xxx

Finn was screaming, Lilly was sobbing and Ben was pulling his hair out. He paced as he tried to calm his son so he could see to his wife who was obviously in considerable pain. He was very grateful when Hanah appeared at his side.

"Give me Finn," she held her hands out for the distressed baby. "You need to see to Lilly."

"I don't know what's wrong with him," he sighed as he handed his son to his mother in law. "He just hasn't settled since his last feed."

"Which was when?" Hanah gently placed Finn over her shoulder.

"About half an hour ago," Ben said as he hurried to his wife's side.

"I'll take him downstairs and see if we can find out what's wrong," Hanah smiled reassuring as she jiggled the still screaming child.

"Thanks, Hanah," Ben returned the smile and then turned his full attention to his wife who was curled up on her side with tears pouring down her flushed face. She had slept most of the afternoon, relatively fever free but as Finn began his evening feed, she had started to cry and complain of terrible abdominal pain. "Okay sweetie," he carded his fingers through her hair. "I need to check you out again my love," he smiled tenderly.

"My stomach really hurt's Ben," Lilly groaned.

"I need you to lie on your back, Lils," Ben gently turned her and apologised when the change of position caused her to sob in pain. "Let's get this gown off," he then started to unbutton her nightgown.

"Do you need me to get anything, Benjamin?" Hanah asked from the doorway as she gently rocked Finn.

"Could you send up a bowl of fresh water and a clean cloth?" Ben could feel the heat of Lilly's returning fever bleeding through her sweat soaked gown.

"Of course, won't be a minute."

"Thanks," Ben smiled as he continued to struggle with Lilly's gown. "I'm just going to sit you up so I can pull it over your head, Lils." He gently lifted her slightly and pulled the garment up and over her head.

"There you go," he smiled as just as he just as gently lowered her back onto the bed. He blew on his hands for a while. "Just need to warm my hands," he grinned, hoping to bring a touch of humour in an attempt to cheer up his sick wife who was still crying in pain. "I won't be a minute, Lilliput," he sighed when Lilly bucked as he then rested his hands on her stomach.

"It's so painful, Ben," Lilly cried. "Why does it hurt so much?"

"Because, you've got a pretty serious infection, I'm afraid." Ben moved to check her discharge. "Yup. No wonder you feel so poorly," he reached for a sheet and covered her lower half. "I'm going to take another temperature," he smiled sadly and grabbed the thermometer. "Fancy guessing this time?" He waggled his eyebrows and grinned again before inserting it in her ear and placing his hand on her forehead. "I might find you a lovely prize!"

Lilly managed to roll her eyes before closing them and taking a shuddering breath. "I think it's around 102," she guessed. The chills of a burning fever hadn't returned but she still felt extremely hot.

"Bang on 102," Ben nodded after the bleep. "Better than it was, but not good, Lils."

"I feel so ill." Lilly licked her lips and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I know you do my love."

"It feels like there is a knife in my stomach," she sobbed, rubbing her hand across her lower abdomen.

"I can give you something stronger for the pain," Ben reached for his med bag, "but it will make you drowsy."

"I don't care, I just want to sleep," Lilly mumbled and placed her other arm over her eyes.

"I need to make a trip to the hospital," Ben stated as he pushed out two stronger painkillers and poured a glass of water. "You really need an IV, some stronger antibiotics and some fluids." He gently lifted her head and helped her take the medication. "I don't want this infection to get any worse," he said and turned at the sound of his mother in law's footsteps. He accepted the bowl and cloth off her with a sad smile.

Hanah sat at his side and took her daughter's hand in hers. "Your father is singing Finn another lullaby," she smiled tenderly as Lilly managed to slowly turn her head to look at her. "Poor little thing," she added with a chuckle.

"Is he okay, ma?"

"He is fine, Lilly."

"He was really screaming."

"Babies do that," Hanah reached over and stroked her forehead. "We will look after him, you don't have to worry. All you need to do is rest and get better, okay?"

"What if he's sick too?"

"Please just rest Lilly, Finn is just fine."

"Promise me he's fine."

"He is."

"I don't want you t-to w-worry ma. I'm g-going t-to b-be f-fine t-too," Lilly gave her mother a shaky but reassuring smile.

"I know," Hanah smiled back, "but I need you to rest, my love," she repeated tenderly.

Lilly's fought sleep for a while but was soon helpless to stop her eyes from fluttering shut. Hanah continued to stroke her forehead. "Shh...Shh..." she soothed and watched as her daughter finally succumbed to her exhaustion.

Ben dipped the cloth in the water and continued to try to lower his wife's fever. "I'm going to need to take a trip to the hospital," he told Hanah as he dabbed at Lilly's face. "She needs some heavy duty antibiotics," he sighed, wiping the cloth over her neck and chest.

"Can't Niall go for you?"

"He won't know what to look for, I'm afraid," Ben shook his head and dipped the cloth again. "I also need to check on dosages when I'm there." He turned and handed Hanah the cloth. "I'll be as quick as I can," he promised, "can you carry on with this? I've given her some pain relief that will make her drowsy so hopefully she will sleep and I'll be back as soon as I can." He stood and started to pack his med bag.

"What about Finn?" Hanah asked as she wiped Lilly's face again.

"I'll go and give him a check up, make sure he's okay. I'm sure he's just over tired and reacting to the fact that his mami is sick. It's funny how newborns pick up on these sorts of things," he shrugged. "He shouldn't need to feed for an hour or so but if he does you'll just have to help him latch on as I don't think Lilly is going to be any condition to help much, I'm afraid." He watched as his wife began to toss her head from side to side and whimper.

"She is going to be alright, isn't she?" Hanah turned and asked softly. "Your medicine will make her better won't it?"

"She's going to be just fine," Ben smiled reassuringly. "In a few days she will be as good as new, you'll see."

"She has lost so much weight," Hanah murmured as she then gently ran the cloth over her daughter's stomach and then felt Ben kiss the top of her head.

"We will feed her up in no time," he gently squeezed her shoulder. "It's just going to take time."

Hanah turned and smiled. "I know," she patted his hand, sighed heavily and then returned to her job.

"Right," Ben grabbed his bag. "I won't be long."

"We will be just fine, won't we Lilly?" Hanah folded the cloth in two and rested it on Lilly's forehead. "Go carefully, Benjamin."

"I will," Ben promised and hurried out of the room.

The sooner he left, the sooner he'd return with the much needed drugs.

His first stop was to check on his son, though.

Xxx

"Come on, little man." Ben gently laid his screaming son on the sofa. "What's all this about, hey?" He lifted his gown and placed his stethoscope on his chest. Finn had been inconsolable since his last feeding and Ben had found Sergi pacing up and down the hall trying his hardest to placate his distressed grandson.

Finn continued to sob as Ben examined him further. He was happy to find no physical reasons for his distress when he then noted that all his vitals were in the normal range.

Fed, burped, changed... Ben mentally ticked off all the other reasons for the crying as he gently turned his son onto his stomach and tied the back ribbon of his gown.

"Oh, Finny," he soothed as he then picked him up and started to rock him, "I know you want mami," he sighed. "But she's poorly, buddy. She needs to sleep so she'll feel better."

"Can I do anything?"

Ben glanced up and smiled at Cara when she walked into the room. "We're fine," he shrugged, jigging Finn up and down as his screams began to crescendo.

"Ma told me that you've got to go to the hospital," Cara raised her voice to be heard. "Give me Finn," she held her hands out for bawling child.

"It's okay..."

"No it's not," Cara reached and gently plucked Finn out of Ben's arms and rested him against her chest. "Lilly needs your medication. You have to go," she said, rubbing her nephew's back.

Ben wiped a shaky hand over his face and then scrubbed it through his hair. "Are you sure you're okay with him?" He asked, watching Cara cradle Finn in her arms.

"We will be fine, won't we Finn Ashton," she smiled as she rocked the infant.

Finn's screams started to taper off as she rocked him and soon he was hiccupping intermittently. "See, he just needed a woman's touch," Cara grinned as she carefully sat on the sofa. "That and his thumb," she giggled when the sound of loud slurping filled the air. "That's so cute."

Ben took a seat at her side and reached to stroke his son's hair. "Very cute," he agreed, smiling at the sight of Finn curled in his auntie's arms, thumb firmly in his mouth.

Cara patted her brother in law's knee. "I have him, Benjamin, you need to help Lilly."

Ben nodded slowly as he sat and watched Finn for a while, making sure he would continue to sleep.

"Thank you," he kissed Cara on the cheek as he stood. "I'll be back soon," he said as he hurried out of the room.

Cara sighed heavily and sat back on the sofa. "Just you and me now hey, Finn Ashton," she gently stroked his cheek. "Let's stay like this so your ma gets some much needed rest."

She had mixed emotions as she held the sleeping baby. Grief for what may have been her own lost child, relief that Finn had arrived safely and, above all, overwhelming concern for her sick sister.

Xxx

"Ma? I think Finn needs to feed." Cara stood at her sister's bed side and rocked her nephew.

Lilly lay bonelessly on the bed, her head rolling from side to side as she fought her fever.

Hanah sighed and placed her cloth back into the bowl. "How are we going to do this?" She mused as she pulled Lilly's sheet down to expose her breasts. She tapped her sick daughter's face and called her name but only received a mumble in return.

Finn's cry was growing, no matter how Cara rocked or encouraged him to suck his thumb so Hanah plucked a pillow, rested it at Lilly's side and reached for her grandson.

"I know, I know," she soothed the crying baby. "You're hungry." She placed Finn on the pillow and guided his mouth towards Lilly's nipple. "There you go," she sighed as he quickly latched on and started to suckle.

She held him in position and glanced over at Cara. "Can you pass me a sheet?" She asked, nodding in the direction of the pile of folded sheets on the chair by the dresser.

Cara crossed, picked up sheet and unfolded it. "What do you want me to do?" She asked, returning to the bedside.

"Right, can you tuck one end in this side," Hanah moved so Cara could reach down and tuck the sheet in the edge of the bed. "And then pull it tightly over Finn and Lilly and tuck it in the other," she smiled. "It should hold Finn in position to feed."

Cara crossed to the other side of the bed to tuck it in and Hanah grabbed another pillow which she rested against her leg and 'sandwiched' Finn between his mother and her. After assuring that he was comfortable and feeding well, she sat back and reached for her cloth again, folded it two and rested it on Lilly's burning forehead.

"What time is it, Car?" She asked as she then sat and stroked Finn's hair.

"After ten," Cara sighed and sat on the end of the bed.

"Benjamin will be back soon," Hanah smiled.

Cara reached and pulled Lilly's sheet up a bit, allowing her sister some decency, knowing she'd be horrified about exposing her naked body. "She looks so sick, Ma, too sick..." she stated sadly as she sat back and watched as Lilly whimpered and groaned.

"Benjamin will sort her out," Hanah said and nodded confidently. "He knows what he's doing Cara."

Cara tried to smile. She had the utmost faith in her brother in law but, she'd never seen her sister so ill before and it reminded her of another time, another place. She was about to voice her fears but noticed the look of total exhaustion and worry on her mother's face.

"Of course he does," she smiled. "Benjamin will make her better," she added with her own nod of confidence.

They then both sat at the sick mother's bedside, offering her as much support as they could, one ear listening for the sound of horse's hoofs at all times.


	15. Chapter 15

Finn was fed, changed and sleeping and Lilly was groaning, whimpering and restless.

Ben had hurried back from the hospital to find his wife's temperature soaring again and was now at her side, inserting an IV into the back of her hand once again, ready to provide the much needed antibiotics and fluids.

He'd managed to persuade Hanah and Cara to take Finn downstairs so he could concentrate on Lilly. He knew they were both upset about her condition, as he was too, but he needed to clear his mind to make sure he got the antibiotic dosage right.

"Okay, we'll go with Gentamycin Lils, we should have done this before," he mumbled to himself as he then drew the medication out of the vials and then crossed to the IV stand and injected the drug. "We'll keep the fluids up," he squeezed the fluid bag and calibrated the flow. "There you go," he smiled as he double checked all the settings. "That should do the trick," he nodded and returned to his wife's bedside.

"We'll just wet this," he stated and plucked the dry cloth from her forehead and dipped it in the tepid water. "This should help some," he sighed as he gently placed the cloth back, pulled a sheet over her and took her hand.

He'd been in this position too many times over the last year for his liking. Lilly needed a break but he knew that it would take days for the antibiotics to start to work and his wife was going to be very sick until they kicked in.

So not fair.

Xxx

It was now three in the morning and Ben was supporting Lilly as she vomited over the side of the bed into a bowl he'd quickly positioned.

He was just about to lay her back against her pillows when there was a knock at the door.

"Ben, Finn needs feeding again," Hanah popped her head round the door and smiled sadly.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Ben exclaimed, reaching for the bowl with one hand while supporting Lilly with the other as she began to heave again. "She can't feed him, she's too sick," he shook his head and rubbed her back as she bent over and continued to vomit. "He'll have to wait."

"I don't think he can," Hanah walked into the room with a screaming Finn in her arms. "He's been like this for nearly half an hour now," she sighed as tried to calm him.

"There is no way she can feed him."

"She's going to have to; it's not fair to him."

"Well, it's not fair to her either," Ben spat in both annoyance and frustration. Lilly's slight frame shook in his arms and her high fever bled through the sheet he'd wrapped around her shoulders.

"It's is not Finn's fault that his mami is sick." Hanah stood her ground, wincing when Lilly vomited again.

"Tell me how she's going to do it then?" Ben was exhausted and irritated. "Every time I lay her down she vomits."

"You'll just have to give her something to stop her being sick."

"I'm not a miracle worker! I'm doing everything I can!"

"But you said the medicine will make her better, you promise!"

"And it will."

"When?"

"We have to give it time. It takes time, Hanah!"

"Finn has no concept of time. He needs feeding now."

"Lilly's too sick."

"Make her better! You said you could!"

"I'm trying!"

"Not hard enough!"

"Please, Hanah..."

Xxx

Raised voices and Finn's shrill screams escalated Lilly's pounding headache.

She held onto the rim of the bowl, willing her stomach to settle. She felt so sick but she knew that Finn needed her.

"P-pass m-me..."She paused and threw up again. "...F-Finn," she stuttered.

"Don't be ridiculous, Lilly," Ben tutted. "You're in no condition to feed him."

Lilly closed her eyes, leaned back and rested her head against her husband's chest. "P-put t-the b-bowl at m-my s-side," she sighed, knowing she her nausea would not pass soon. "I'll feed h-him the o-other s-side."

"Lilly."

"It'll b-be fine. Y-you just need to s-support me if...when I feel s-sick a-gain," she corrected when her stomach rolled with nausea. "P-please Ben, I can't take t-the n-noise anymore," she sobbed.

"Okay, okay," Ben sighed in defeat as he gently eased her back onto her pillows, sitting her up slightly so to make the feeding easier for his son. As he stood and turned to his mother in law to retrieve the screaming baby, he shook his head at the sound of Lilly vomiting again.

He waited a moment or two for Lilly to flop back on the pillows and then positioned Finn across her lap and helped him to latch on.

"I'm sorry, Lils," he sighed when she whimpered in pain.

"S'okay," Lilly licked her lips, leaned her head back, closed her eyes and took deep breaths. "N-not y-your f-fault."

Ben picked up his cloth and dabbed her face. "Just try and relax," he urged gently and then turned to his mother in law. "I'm so sorry Hanah, I was out of line," he smiled sadly.

"No you weren't," Hanah sighed as she perched on the edge of the bed. "I said some dreadful things too, I'm sorry. I know you're doing all you can it's just a horrible, horrible situation and I'm so worried," she confessed quietly.

"I know," Ben reached and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "Once the drugs start to work she'll be feeling so much better, you'll see."

They both then sat and watched as Finn continued to feed. They supported Lilly when she started to vomit.

It was going to be a long time until dawn.

Xxx

"I feel terrible," Lilly groaned and pulled at her covers. "Am I dying?" She turned her head and softly asked her husband who was sat with Finn in his arms. "I have never felt so sick in my life."

Ben quickly placed his son back into his crib, sat on the side of the bed, and stroked his wife's hair. Dawn was beginning to break on what had been a truly awful night for the young mother. She'd spent most of the night vomiting and in terrible pain.

"Oh, Lilly, you're not dying," he reassured gently.

"My heart's racing," Lilly sobbed, flopping on her back and flinging an arm over her eyes. "My head is agony."

"I can give you some more pain killers, sweetheart, but nothing too strong because you're feeding Finn."

"Anything will do," Lilly groaned, turning on her side again. No position gave her relief from feeling so ill. She closed her eyes tightly and listened as Ben poured a glass of water, she was beginning to feel scared. Having nursed several new mothers with 'bed fever' she knew how serious it was, she knew that women died from it on Mandana every year.

"I'm just going to lift you head slightly, Lils."

She felt Ben's cool hands under her cheek and they felt wonderful against her hot skin. The equally cool water felt wonderful as she swallowed the capsules and she longed to drink more but knew she'd be soon bringing it up again so she allowed her husband to lower her head and then pull her sheet up to her shoulders. She so wanted to open her eyes and thank him but her head hurt so much.

As she began to drift she was aware of Ben fiddling with her IV before he lay gently at her side and started to card his fingers through her hair.

"Just relax Lils; the medication will begin to work soon."

"Are you sure it will work?" Lilly voice was a mere whisper.

"Of course I am, why?"

"Because I'm scared. I'm scared that I'm dying."

"You're not dying," Ben repeated softly but Lilly continued as if he hadn't spoken.

"I have w-watched many mothers die f-from this. I don't w-want t-to die. I don't w-want F-Finn t-to die. I want t-to watch m-my s-son grow u-up..."

She found herself being quickly gathered into her husband's strong arms and rested her tired, throbbing head on his shoulder. "I d-don't w-want to m-miss F-Finn," she began cry softly.

"I won't let you die, Lilly. It's going to be alright, I promise you."

Xxx

Ben gently rocked his frightened, sick wife until she slowly relaxed into sleep once more. The skin beneath his touch was hot and dry so he knew she still had a high temperature and the small grunting noise she made as she slept indicated that she was still in pain but there was little more he could do for her at the moment.

Antibiotics were flowing along with fluids, a suppository was taking care of her nausea and fever and the painkiller he'd helped her take was obviously taking the edge off her pain enough for her to sleep.

She'd been sick for nearly two days now and Ben was worrying that she was showing few signs of improvement, in fact she seemed to be getting worse and he was beyond furious with himself for not admitting her into hospital at the first sign of infection. She should have had IV antibiotics from the start to prevent the infection from taking hold.

He had allowed his own exhaustion to cloud his judgement and that was unforgivable. While she suffered, he'd slept. What was he thinking?

As he lay, holding his now trembling wife he began doubting his ability to be a Platon. He'd seriously misread two situations involving the family he loved so much. The mistake of tending to Cara instead of referring her to another Platon he could live with but the error of judgement in Lilly's care twisted like a knife in his heart. He'd let her down by pretending he was something he wasn't. He was just a nurse pretending to be a doctor and his wife deserved better and should be getting better.

Who did he think he was?

His own arrogance could cost him the love of his life and he felt nauseous and scared.

He wished with all his heart that Janet Fraiser were here right now...

Xxx

"Morning Cara."

"Morning ma."

Hanah placed a plate of eggs in front of her daughter. "You went out early," she patted her on her shoulder before taking a seat at the kitchen table.

Cara glanced up from stirring her tea. "Couldn't sleep," she shrugged. "I went and helped Niall at Lilly's cottage," she smiled sadly. "Did you get any sleep?" She asked, noting the dark rings under her mother's eyes.

"I managed about an hour," Hanah's smile was equally as sad. "Most of the time I just lay and listened to young Finn cry. Poor Lilly, he was feeding on the hour again."

Cara pushed her eggs round her plate. "Has Ben managed to sleep at all?"

"You father checked on them about an hour ago and all three were sleeping."

"That's...that's good," Cara nodded slowly and then pushed her plate away. "I'm sorry ma but, I'm just not hungry," she sighed.

"It's okay, Car," Hanah nodded. "I know how you feel," she added, pushing her own plate of toast away. "Food is turning my stomach too," she admitted softly.

Cara placed her head in her hands. "I'm so worried about her ma," she mumbled.

"Your sister will be fine."

"She's so sick and I'm scared."

"Benjamin will get her through this," Hanah's reply was, again adamant. She had the utmost faith in her son in law.

Cara slowly turned to face her mother. "What if he doesn't?"

"I will not hear such things..."

"A lot of mothers do not survive 'bed fever', ma, you know that better than anyone. We may have to face..."

Hanah stood abruptly and the scraping of her chair echoed around the kitchen. "I will not hear or talk about such things!" She crossed to the sink and started to wash up. Cara followed her and placed her arm around her shoulders.

"We may have to prepare ourselves ma," she whispered. "I know you don't want to talk about it but..."

"I will not sit and watch my daughter die like I did my sister," Hanah's voice was equally as soft.

"Ma..."

"No, Lilly has Benjamin and earth's wisdom and medication. Poor R-Rachael had... h-had n-nothing." She scrubbed at the tears that slowly fell for her sister. Rachael Morton had passed away from 'bed fever' a week and a day after giving birth to her beautiful daughter. "It will not happen to Lilly. It just c-can't."

Cara pulled her now sobbing mother in for a hug. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry ma, I shouldn't have said anything," she soothed her grieving mother as she rocked her. "Of course you're right; of course Lilly will be just fine. Benjamin has things under control and she will be well again soon." She rested her head on top of her mother's and was helpless to stop her own tears.

Cara clearly remembered sitting in this kitchen while her grandmother and mother tended to her aunt Rachael. She remembered the excitement of the birth of her cousin Sophie and then the subsequent heartbreaking agony of both mother and daughter's slow deaths. She and Lilly would lie in bed and listen to the agonising cries of both their mother and grandmother and how they had both tried desperately to feed the young baby themselves after Rachael's death. It was something she would never forget and it haunted her dreams, even more now as Lilly struggled for her own life.

"That's Finn," Hanah pushed out of Cara's arms and wiped her eyes on her apron when the sound of a baby crying quickly drew both women from their devastation. "I will see to him," she took a deep breath and nodded. "Perhaps you can bring Ben some tea," she added as she patted her daughter's arm on her way out.

Cara stood and rested her arms on the sink and took a shaky breath to regain her composure.

Her sister needed her, as did her mother.


	16. Chapter 16

Hanah plucked her screaming grandson out of his crib. She'd not been in the least surprised to find Lilly and Ben curled up in each other's arms. Her son in law was sleeping soundly but her daughter was whimpering and restless.

"I know, Finn, it's dinner time," she rocked him as she sat on the edge of the bed. "Ben," she whispered, expecting him to immediately wake but he groaned, turned onto his back, dragging Lilly onto his chest with one fluid movement and continued to sleep.

Hanah didn't want to wake him as she knew he'd been awake all night and Lilly seemed comfortable enough to sleep so she inched further onto the bed and lowered Finn next to his mother.

She reached and stroked her daughter's hot cheek. "Lilly, sweetie, Finn needs feeding, darling," she whispered but Lilly just murmured and tossed her head.

Hanah hung her head and sighed. Her daughter was so very sick and her son in law so very tired but her grandson was so very hungry. "Okay, little man," she gently lifted Finn so he lay on his stomach across his mother's bare abdomen and then eased him into position to feed. "There you go poppet," she smiled as Finn began to suckle. "Go gently angel, mama's real sick..."she blinked away the tears that sprang into her eyes and then felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be okay Han."

She turned her head at the sound of her husband's caring words.

"Oh, Sergi, she's so ill," she couldn't help but sob.

Sergi immediately sat at her side and helped her support Finn when her hands began to shake. "We have to trust young Benjamin," he urged softly. "He knows what he is doing."

"I can't go through this again," Hanah sniffed. "I just can't. It's too h-hard."

Sergi placed his arm round her shoulders and she rested her head against his chest, one hand on her grandson at all times.

"You've got to be strong, Hanah – we've got to be strong. It will be different this time, I know it will," Sergi kissed the top of her head.

"I can't lose her..."

"I know, I know."

"I m-miss Rachael s-so m-much."

"I know you do, my love. I do too." Sergi held his wife feeling helpless to know what to do, how to make things better. They just had to put all their trust in the young man who held they daughter in his protective embrace.

They had no other choice.

Xxx

Cara sat with her head in her hands at the kitchen table, tears pouring down her face and the pot of tea she'd prepared rapidly going cold. She knew she should be supporting her mother but she just couldn't stop crying and didn't want her to see her like this.

Foremost in the mind was the fact that the last thing she and Lilly had done was fight. She'd hurt her sister so much and just couldn't forgive herself.

She knew she'd avoided Lilly since Finn's birth, she just couldn't handle being around a newborn baby, not only because of what Edward did to her but also because of the memory of the beautiful little girl who had lost her life so tragically. Lilly had confided in her how nervous she was about giving birth, how she was scared about how her mother would react if things took a turn for the worse but the Mandanan way was to return home to give birth and Lilly would not go against her parent's wishes. Ben had seen things differently, he wanted to be as hands on as possible and if he'd had his way Lilly would have given birth in hospital and Cara really wished that he'd persuaded her sister to do that now.

This house held so many bad memories along with the wonderful childhood ones.

Cara really wanted to turn and run, run and hide, bury her head and deny what was going on. She couldn't deal with it all right now, she really couldn't, and she was just about to reach for her shawl when there was a knock on the door.

"It's only me."

She immediately recognised Niall's voice and wiped her tears before crossing to the open the back door.

"Cara, what's wrong?" Niall noticed straight away that Cara had been crying.

Cara just melted into his arms and sobbed.

"Shh...Shh...," Niall soothed as he stroked her hair. "You're scaring me, what's wrong?"

"It's L-Lilly," Cara hiccupped. "S-she's so s-sick."

"Oh, Cara, she'll be just fine. Benny will make sure of that," he gently kissed the top of her head.

"N-not t-this time. S- she has 'b-bed f-fever'," Cara continued to cry.

"And I was supposed to die from 'system fever' but Benny saved me. You have to believe Cara, I did and I was so ill and near death. Benny knows what he's doing."

"She c-can't die. She j-just c-can't."

"And, she won't. It just takes time, Car. I was very sick, even with the earth drugs. It took days for them to work and it will be the same for Lilly but, they will work, I promise."

He held Cara until he sobs turned to sniffles and then gently eased her out of his arms. "Right, young lady," he smiled tenderly and brushed her hair off her forehead. "We need to pull together, all of us. Benny, Lilly and young Finn are going to need all of our support. We need to be strong for them, okay?"

Cara took a shuddering breath, wiped her face and gave a shaky smile back. "Yes, you're right," she nodded and sniffed.

Niall leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Good girl," he smiled. "Now, let's go see what we can do to help."

Xxx

"I shouldn't have slept."

"Of course you should have," Sergi placed a comforting hand on Ben's shoulder as she changed his shirt.

"Finn needed me. Lilly needed me."

"It was all in hand."

Finn's screams as Cara changed his diaper had woken Ben. He'd immediately felt guilty for sleeping through his son's feeding and was taking his frustration out on his family.

"Janet Fraiser would have been furious at me for dropping my guard," he snapped, grabbing a sweater off the window seat.

"She would have understood," Sergi kept his tone calm "You are exhausted and have not slept for two nights now. It was perfectly understandable."

"Not to me it isn't!" Ben strode over the bed where Lilly was still sleeping restlessly. "What if Lilly had taken a turn for the worse?" He picked up his wife's wrist and started to take her pulse.

"We would have made sure we woke you," Hanah assured him as she moved to his side.

"She could have been unconscious or choking on her own vomit and I'd have slept through it."

"But she was fine." Cara crossed and joined in with the conversation as she cradled Finn.

"She is so NOT fine!" Ben shouted. "Look at her, does she look fine to you?" He gestured toward his wife who was lying boneless on the bed, mumbling and groaning. "Does she, Cara?" He turned to face his sister in law. "Just like she was 'not fine' when I left her to tend to you!"

"That's not fair! You're way out of line," Sergi interjected, "and you know it Benjamin!"

"What's not fair is that my wife is ill," Ben snapped. "That's what's not fair!"

Sergi turned to face his youngest daughter, who stood with tears silently pouring down her face. "Take Finn downstairs, Car," he smiled tenderly and then turned to his wife who was standing with tears in her eyes too. "And you too Hanah. Ben and I will see to Lilly," he nodded and rubbed Hanah's arm. "We will be okay."

"But..." Hanah reached out a hand to her son in law who immediately turned his back on her.

"Please Hanah," Sergi urged softly. "Perhaps you could prepare some supper for us," he added, trying to bring some sort of normality into the situation. "And could you ask Niall to join us?" He requested, hoping that an unrelated, friendly face might help Ben see reason.

"But..." Hanah began to protest again.

"Please my love, we will be fine, I promise."

Hanah and Cara slowly backed out of the bedroom, watching Ben as he tended to his patient, pausing every now again to scrub angrily at what they knew were tears.

Their heart sank at the despair of the young Platon, they thought that Ben could handle anything and his lack of control was devastating.

Xxx

Sergi crossed to meet Niall when he quietly entered the room.

"See if you can get him to talk," he smiled sadly, nodding toward Ben who was frantically checking Lilly's medication. "He's giving me the silent treatment."

"I'll try but I'm not promising he'll listen to me either," Niall sighed.

Sergi patted his arm. "I'm very grateful," he bowed slightly before leaving the room leaving Niall alone with his frantic best friend and he took a deep breath before crossing to the window where he slowly sat down, rested his arms on his knees, and watched the Platon at work.

Ben was hanging a new bag of fluid, one eye on his wife at all times. "Dammit," he spat as the IV tube kinked. "Of crying out loud, can't you just stay were you should be!"

Niall could see by the shaking of his friend's hands that he was struggling to keep things together and he wasn't used to seeing the usually self-assured, confident young Platon like this.

"Benny?" He trod very carefully. "It's going to be okay," he reassured his friend gently. "She's going to be okay." He watched as Ben paced up and down the side of the bed, adjusting Lilly's covers, checking and double checking her medication, shaking his head as he worked.

"She's so far from okay that it's not even funny Niall!"

"Ben, please..."

"And the others just don't understand. They have no concept of how seriously ill she really is. They just see me as this miracle worker, they think I'm just gonna 'snap my fingers' and make her better..."

"They're just scared..."

"_They're_ scared?" Ben turned and snapped. "_They're_ scared? What about me? Aren't I allowed to be scared too?" He picked up a pillow and threw it across the room in temper. "Because I am scared, I'm so scared!"

Niall stood and reached out to his friend. "I know you're scared, buddy," he gently rubbed his arm. "And it's okay to be scared but you have to calm down if you're going to help Lilly. She needs you to be strong Ben."

"But I don't know what I'm doing, Ni," Ben hung his head and softly admitted. "I really don't know."

Ben's admission almost broke Niall's heart. "Yes you do, Benny. You need to calm down and regroup for a while. I know you know what to do, _I'm_ living proof that you know what to do," he shrugged with a grin. "When everyone left me for dead, you were the one who stepped forward and took charge; you were cool, calm, collected and confident. You just need to find that steely determination again, that's all."

Ben scrubbed a hand through his hair. "I'm so tired, Niall," he sighed and Niall gently steered him toward the window seat.

"I know you are," he sympathised, "and that's half the problem. You're so tired that you're not thinking straight. You need to step back from the situation. Take a shower, grab yourself something to eat. Let others watch over Lilly for a while. We can all help if you let us," he smiled and took a seat next to his friend who now had his head in his hands.

"But Finn will need feeding..."

"We can help Lilly do that."

"And her medication will need monitoring..."

"Show us what to do. I'm sure with your guidance, Platon Ashton, we'll make willing and helpful students and we could go and fetch Anton or Conrad if we need to."

"They don't understand Earth medication..."

"You're just finding stumbling blocks, Benny." Niall nudged shoulders with his friend. "We can do this, buddy. You just need to tell us what to do."

Ben slowly began to nod his head and then managed to turn and face his best friend. "You're right, Ni," he admitted sadly. "I'm no use to her in this state," he sighed and turned to watch his wife again. "She's really sick," he repeated softly.

"I know," Niall nodded slowly, "but she's getting the right medication isn't she?"

"I think so."

"And you're doing all you can?"

"I suppose so."

"So, other than watching over her and trying to keep her temperature down there is little anyone can do, right?"

Ben sighed heavily again before nodding. "Yeah."

"We can do that, Benny," Niall smiled confidently.

Ben turned to face his friend again and returned the smile. "Yes you can," he nodded and patted his knee. "Thanks for the kick in the ass, buddy," he added sincerely.

"Boy, I love your earth sayings," Niall grinned.

"Lilly hates them."

"No she doesn't."

"Yes she does."

"She wants you to think she hates them but she actually finds them very endearing."

"You must be joking," Ben chuckled, shaking his head.

"Nope, our next book of the month is The Great Book of American Mirth," Niall grinned.

Both men then began to laugh, grateful for the change of atmosphere in the room.

"Thanks Niall," Ben said when they managed to control themselves. "I'm going to take you up on your advice and go and get something to eat," he nodded as he stood. "Lilly has the medication she needs, just try and keep her cool and Finn shouldn't need to feed for an hour or so." He crossed the room and opened the door.

"Go easy with the Tangers," Niall advised gently as he reached for the bowl of water and cloth. "They've been through this sort of thing before," he sighed and dabbed Lilly's forehead.

"Oh?"

"Hanah's sister passed away from 'bed fever' after child birth and her newborn daughter perished a week later."

"W-what?" Ben moved back to the side of the bed and took Lilly's hot hand in his feeling shell shocked, and upset. No wonder everyone was so scared.

"It was so tragic," Niall continued. "Hanah and her mother tried to nurse the child but to no avail. Cara and Lilly weren't very old and I know how much it affected them," he smiled sadly as he folded the cloth and placed it on Lilly's forehead. "It was a very difficult time for the whole family and I'm sure all this is bringing back such awful memories."

Ben reached down and stroked his wife's cheek. "No wonder you're so scared, Lils," he whispered softly. "You don't have to be scared, my love. I've got you. I promise."

Xxx

"You should have told me."

Ben stood and held his mother in law as she sobbed in his arms.

"A-and what would t-that h-have achieved."

"I wouldn't have been so stupidly thoughtless." Ben gently kissed the top of her head. "I'm so very sorry."

Hanah eased out of his arms and reached up her sleeve for her handkerchief. "It was a long time ago," she tried to smile as she blew her nose. "Time has healed much."

"It was so tragic."

"Yes it was," Hanah nodded, "and it took a long time for us to all to come to terms with our losses but we did," she patted Ben's arm as she crossed to the stove. "Many Mandanan families have suffered similar losses but now, with our God's willing, things will change, thanks be to you," she turned and smiled.

Ben slowly lowered himself into a kitchen chair, feeling the weight of the expectations of the whole planet on his shoulders. "You need to pray to your Gods on this one, ma," he admitted with a sigh as Hanah placed a place of stew in front of him. "Lilly is so sick that I'm not sure our medication will be enough."

"But, you have given her a real chance, a chance that was not there when my Rachael fell ill," Hanah smiled as she pulled up a chair next to him. "My Lilly is a fighter, always has been, always will be and she now has Finn to fight for as well. I have the utmost confidence," she nodded and stirred her cup of tea.

"Wish I shared your confidence," Ben shrugged as he began to eat.

"You have just lost sight of things, Benjamin."

"Niall told me that," Ben agreed between mouthfuls of stew.

"He is a wise young man."

"Yes he is," Ben nodded.

"And he is going to make my youngest daughter a very fine husband." Hanah grinned as she sipped her tea.

"W-what?" Ben spluttered.

"Oh, yes," Hanah shrugged nonchalantly. "I can see it in their eyes."

"See what?"

"I can see that they are falling in love. I have seen it many times before. I saw it when you and Lilly sat under the stars while young Daniel recovered. There is no mistake."

Hanah's confidence in the situation made Ben smile. "Well..." he nodded slowly. "They would make a lovely couple," he agreed, "and Cara deserves someone who would care for her with all their heart and I know Ni would do that."

"She does indeed," Hanah took another sip of tea. "I am just surprised that they didn't realise their attraction before."

"Me too!"

Ben began to eat with gusto, the normality of the conversation putting him at ease. "So, where is Cara?" He asked as he grabbed some bread to mop up his gravy.

"She is showing your son Grandpa's chickens again," Hanah stood and reached for Ben's empty cup. "I do believe she is giving them all names," she chuckled as she poured him another cup of tea.

"She is alright, isn't she?" Ben asked seriously, as he popped a piece of bread in his mouth. "I mean, I haven't had much time to talk to her since the...um..." he paused and cleared his throat, "the incident"

Hanah patted his hand as she collected his now empty plate. "She is doing well," she reassured him. "She is talking to us and Niall has been a wonderful support. You do not need to worry, we have her in hand. You need to concentrate on Lilly and Finn," she smiled warmly and crossed to the stove again. "Do you want anymore stew?"

"No thank you," Ben sighed and patted his belly. "It was lovely but I'm full," he grinned.

"There is plenty more for later," Hanah turned to her chores once more and Ben pushed up from his chair.

"Right," he stated confidently. "I'm going to check on Lilly again."

"Send young Niall down for something to eat," Hanah called over her shoulder.

"Will do," Ben replied, feeling so much happier about things. His mind was clearer and he now felt ready for anything.


	17. Chapter 17

"Oh, that's just great Finny!"

Ben stood slowly, his son on his shoulder, vomit trickling down his shirt. "Great timing buddy," he sighed as he crossed to the bathroom.

It was now early evening. Lilly had slept on and off for most of the afternoon, only responding when Finn was brought to her to feed. Her temperature was still very high but Ben seemed to have her pain under control with a mixture of Earth painkillers and Mandanan herbs. Unfortunately one of the side effects of the herbs was they caused Finn to have a bit of reflux and this was the second time both he and Ben had needed a change of clothing.

"Right, let's have another cleanup son," Ben gently laid Finn on a folded towel on the floor. "Think we both smell nasty," he pulled a face as he began to undo the snaps on his gown. "You more so than me," he added when he smelled his son's diaper.

He was slowly getting used to being a father; he just wished Lilly was well enough to be involved too. It felt wrong to him that he was getting used to his son's little signs of communication and knew that his wife would be upset that she was being left out but there was little he could do about the situation.

"Good God, Finn!" He exclaimed as he removed the soiled diaper. "I think a bath with papi is on the agenda," he smiled, removed his own vomit splattered shirt and turned to add a jug of warm water to the large bathroom sink.

He carefully picked his son up and lowered him into the clean water, rubbing his tummy as he began to squirm. "Go easy on your papi," he smiled. "This is all new to him."

Ben soon lost himself in the joys of giving his son a bath as Finn gurgled and splashed.

Routine was good.

Xxx

_Lilly stood and gazed over the snow covered hills of Mandana._

_The snow was deep and virginal, everything was so calm and still. Stars were beginning to pepper the night sky, meeting the rays of the sun as they passed on their journey round the planet. The whole atmosphere was surreal and bewildering to her, it was as if life had ground to a halt. There was no breeze, no rustling trees, no clouds hiding the moons, just calm, still nothingness, icy cold and it was bewitching._

_Tendrils of ice stabbed at her stomach, plunging into her unborn child and piercing her very soul. Cold sweat flowed out of her pores, covering her naked body and causing her to shiver violently. Her feet felt glued to the meadow floor, the cold freezing her into a statue. She knew she had to move, she had to get warm, she had to find her husband but she couldn't move, she was under the spell of deep winter and she longed to grab onto the tail of spring, to feel the warmth of it on her face and her child in her arms..._

Xxx

"There you go, we're both nice and clean now." Ben wrapped Finn in a shawl and kissed his forehead. "You tired buddy?" He smiled as Finn turned his head and started to suck his thumb. "Let's get you into your crib and I think papi might take a nap too," he cradled his precious bundle to his chest as he threw the damp towels into the bath. "And, we'll see how mami's doing too." Ben reached and dimmed the oil lamp before making his way back into the bedroom.

"Lilly?"

The sight of his wife standing, trembling at the window made his heart sink and he hurried to place his son in his cradle.

He quickly grabbed a quilt off the bed and gently wrapped it around Lilly's shaking shoulders.

"What are you doing out of bed my love," he asked softly as he pulled her into his arms.

"I'm watching the snow." Lilly sighed.

"There's no snow, Lils." Ben placed his hand on her forehead and winced at the heat pouring off of it.

"Yes there is," Lilly leaned her head back on his chest. "It's so cold and I couldn't find you."

"I'm right here," Ben tightened his hold on his sick wife. "And I need to get you back into bed; you've pulled out some of your lines." The IV tubing that fed her needed fluids hung loosely off the stand.

"The baby d-died," Lilly shivered as Ben turned her toward the bed. "I c-couldn't f-feed it and t-the b-baby d-died."

Ben gently lowered her onto the mattress, sat at her side, and wiped the tears that fell down her hot cheeks. "The baby didn't die, my love," he reassured her. "He's just fine. Our Finn is sleeping safely in his crib waiting for his mami to get better."

Lilly's teeth began to chatter as she continued to cry. "I-it's s-so c-cold and t-the b-baby j-just d-died."

Ben sighed and reached for the thermometer. "Oh, Lils, everything is fine, please believe me," he soothed her as he waited for the bleep. When the digital display read 104.8, he tenderly brushed the damp curls off Lilly's forehead. "I'm going to fetch you mother," he smiled sadly. "I think you need her, my love."

Lilly nodded as she sobbed. "I n-need, m-ma."

Ben tucked her covers round her and went in search of his mother in law. He needed to be his patient's Platon now, he needed to distance himself and be professional.

His wife's condition was now critical.

Xxx

Ice packs were covered in cloths and placed under Lilly's armpits, round her neck and in her groin. Hanah sat at her side, tenderly bathing her hot skin as Ben concentrated on her medication.

He'd changed her antibiotic regime and had sent Niall to fetch Greta and Conrad. Her fever was still over 104 and he needed a second or even third opinion to cover all his bases.

Lilly had been drifting in and out of delirium for nearly four hours now, her body was in constant movement as she fought her fevered nightmares and she barely reacted to her family who were all gathered around her bed, offering silent support.

When Finns cries joined his mother's Ben sighed and hung his head.

"I'll get Finn, you concentrate on Lilly."

He lifted his head and nodded as Hanah patted his shoulder. "Okay."

Hanah gently lifted her grandson out of his crib and crossed to her daughter, smiling in confirmation when Cara picked the cloth up, moved to the top of the bed and started to mop her sister's too hot brow.

"Okay, my child," Hanah turned her smile to Lilly when she noticed she was staring at her with an unfocused gaze. "You son is hungry," she stated softly and gently placed Finn across her abdomen and helped him to latch on.

"W-who's t-this?" Lilly lifted a shaky hand and placed it on Finn's head.

Hanah sat on the edge of the bed and supported the now suckling baby's head. "This is Finn, your son," she informed her daughter tenderly.

Lilly weakly tossed her head from side to side. "M-my b-baby d-died," she stuttered, her tears falling anew.

"No he didn't sweetheart. He's right here, you can feel him."

"N-no. I-it was s-so cold and I l-lost him in the s-snow."

"No you didn't he's right here," Hanah repeated as she reached and brushed her hand through her daughter's hair. "He's so beautiful Lilly."

"I-im s-so s-sorry B-ben. I d-didn't m-mean t-to l-loose h-him." Lilly was now sobbing uncontrollably and Ben abandoned his work, hurried to sit at her side and tenderly kissed her burning forehead.

"You didn't lose him Lils, he's with you now, he's happy and healthy and you're going to be just fine," he smiled tenderly as he caressed her cheek. "You just need to sleep and concentrate on getting well again. It is okay to go to sleep. We have Finn." He continued to stroke her cheek as her eyelids began to flutter. "That's it, let go, we have you both."

"I m-miss Rachael..." Lilly sighed as she turned her head and went limp.

Ben glanced over at Hanah and noticed the tears pouring down her cheek. "She'll be okay," he reassured her softly and when Cara began to sob too, he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "We just keep going, girls," he smiled at them both. "There's no way we're going to let her go," he added he then watched his son feed contently and his wife sleep restlessly.

This was going to be the longest night of their lives.

Xxx

The calling of the birds were greeting the dawn when Ben felt a hand on his head. It had been an almost unbearable night of illness, worry and the unrelenting fight for a life. The bedroom was littered with the sleeping bodies of Sergi, Hanah, Cara, Niall, Conrad and Greta. Ben and the Mandanan Platons had done battle with Lilly's fever and delirium all night, succeeding to win the war as the night stars began to dip below the horizon.

The hand in hair was weak but cool and he smiled slowly as he lifted his head. "Hey, Lils," he greeted the two dark eyes that steadily watched him wake.

"H-hey," Lilly licked her lips and then managed to smile.

Ben sat at her side and placed the back of his hand on her forehead, feeling elated at the feel of a much lower temperature. "How are you feeling?" He asked softly, not wanting to wake the sleeping household.

"Wiped out," Lilly admitted with a sigh.

"Any pain?" Ben reached for the jug of water and poured his wife a glass.

"No," Lilly shook her head and Ben then helped her take a sip of water.

"Good," he smiled and placed the glass back on the cabinet. "I'm just going to feel your tummy," he said and gently pressed his hand on Lilly's abdomen and was pleased to note that the swelling had gone down considerably and the action didn't cause her any discomfort.

Lilly ran a shaky hand through her hair. "W-what happened?" She asked as she looked round the room.

Ben took her hand. "You were so sick, Lils," he informed her sadly. "We all pulled together to see you through, you were so strong," he smiled.

"I don't remember."

"I'm sure you don't." Ben tenderly caressed her face. "You were delirious for a long time."

"Oh," Lilly closed her eyes again. "I remember being so cold," she shuddered and Ben wrapped a blanket round her shoulders.

"You're much better now," he reassured her.

"I remember ma telling me everything was going to be alright," Lilly continued. "She was at my side..."

"And still is," Ben nodded.

"I'm s-so s-sorry about o-our b-baby," Lilly opened her tear-filled eyes. "I'm s-so sorry, Ben."

"Hush, hush," Ben soothed, immediately noting her confusion. "Finn is just fine," he grinned. "He really is."

"Really?" Lilly blinked slowly and her tears overflowed. "He is?"

"Yes he is. Just hold on," Ben kissed her forehead again and then reached for his sleeping son. "Here he is, Lils," he smiled as he placed him in his mother's arms. "He is just fine."

He watched as Lilly began to slowly smile as she gently cradled her son. "I t-thought h-he d-died," she tenderly rubbed a finger across his cheek. "It wasn't real, my Finny, It wasn't real."

"No it wasn't," Ben sat at her side and pulled her into his arms. "This is real, Lils," he said as Lilly relaxed in his hold. "You me and Finn."

Lilly turned to face him and he leaned in and tenderly kissed her.

"I love you so much, Lilly Ashton."

"And I you," Lilly smiled.

"And," Ben grinned when Finn opened his eyes to stare at them. "We love you too, Finn Tanger Quinn Ashton!"

"Very, very much," Lilly added.

The Ashton family relaxed with their loved ones gathered around them.

They lived to fight another day.

Xxx

TWO MONTHS LATER.

It was a blisteringly hot summer's day and Lilly was feeding her son under the cool shade of a willow tree, her sister at her side.

It had been a long, hard eight weeks, fighting her illness and regaining her strength, but thanks to some good home cooking and some tender loving care, she was gaining weight and was happy to be home once more.

Ben had returned to work and Lilly was enjoying spending quality time getting to know her son, she did tire easily but everyday her physical condition was improving and Finn was growing fast.

"Doesn't that hurt?" Cara asked as she watched her nephew suckle noisily.

"No," Lilly shook her head and chuckled, "he does get a little frantic but it is painless. It's actually a very pleasant experience," she turned and smiled.

"I'll take your word for it," Cara grinned and inched down so she lay on the picnic blanket. The girls were waiting for Ben and Niall who were on their way back from the monthly check-in at the stone ring. This lunch had been planned for weeks and both couples had been looking forward to it immensely.

"I wonder what books they'll send," Lilly mused as she hoisted her son onto her shoulder. "I hope there will be some nice tales for Finn," she said as she patted his back.

"Niall's hoping that they'll send through some more of those wizard ones," Cara lazily picked at the grass that poked round the corner of the blanket. "I do believe he's obsessed with Hermione Granger," she sighed.

Lilly chuckled. "And, I do believe you are jealous, Cara Tanger," she teased.

"I wouldn't mind, but she's a made up character," Cara giggled softly. "I cannot believe that I have to fight for my boyfriend's attention with a made up wizard."

"Oh, your _boyfriend_ hey!" Lilly exclaimed. "I am glad you admit it at last sis!"

Cara flopped onto her back and grinned. "Well, I suppose that's how I see him," she shrugged. "But don't let on just yet, I need to keep him guessing," she turned her head and winked.

"It's nice to see you happy, Car," Lilly reached down and plucked a piece of grass out of her sister's hair. "It's about time."

Cara lay and pondered. "You know what? I am happy," she agreed after a while. "Niall Wenton makes me happy, very happy indeed."

"I'm glad," Lilly nodded and lay the sleeping Finn at Cara's side. "You deserve to be happy Cara," she added as she scooted down so she lay face to face with her sister. "Niall too."

Cara picked up her nephew's tiny hand. "Mr. Pollard came to see pa the other day," she mumbled as she stroked Finn's fingers.

"And?"

"They're moving away," she glanced over to her sister and then returned her gaze to the sleeping boy. "He apologised for what his son did and said that he'd brought great shame on their family."

"How do you feel about that?" Lilly asked softly.

"I am glad that they are moving away but I'd have liked Edward to apologise to me personally," Cara shrugged.

"At least it's all over now."

"Yeah, I suppose..."

"What's wrong? You don't seem so sure?"

Cara propped herself up on an arm. "I've been thinking..."

"That's not like you," Lilly waggled her eyebrows and teased.

Cara rolled her eyes. "Ha, ha," she replied, "seriously Lilly, I've been thinking," she continued. "I need a new start and I think I'd like to learn how to assist in childbirth."

"Oookay."

"I think I'd like to ask Doctor Fraiser if it would be possible to do the next earth rotation and learn how to be an assistant..."

"A midwife," Lilly interrupted with a grin.

"If that is what they call it then, yes, I'd like to be a midwife," Cara nodded. "I'd like to do something in memory of Rachael and Sophie. I see this as a way of giving back, of not letting their passing be in vain."

Lilly reached and grabbed her sister's hand. "That's a truly wonderful idea, ma will be so proud of you Cara."

"I just want to be proud of myself for a change."

"Janet is a wonderful teacher and there will always be an opening for you at the hospital, it will be nice to work alongside each other," Lilly gave her hand a squeeze.

The two sisters relaxed under the tree, discussing the exciting days to come with the sleeping Finn slurping on his thumb between them.

Life was good.

Xxx

The picnic had been wonderful, great food and special company. Lilly and Benjamin lay in bed, their son sleeping soundly in his crib at their side.

Ben was flicking through a medical book and Lilly was just coming to the end of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone. It had taken a while to get into it but, as she slowly closed the book, Lilly was glad she had and sighed in contentment.

"That good, hey?" Ben chuckled as he tossed his book onto the cabinet and reached to dim the light.

"It was wonderful, truly wonderful," Lilly sighed again as she inched down the bed.

"I'm glad," Ben turned on his side and stroked her cheek.

"Actually," Lilly turned on her side to face him too, "I was thinking..."

"Oh?"

"I know you hate the name Harry..."

"Go on." Ben looked at her through narrowed eyes, not really knowing where this conversation was going.

"How do you feel about calling our next child Dumbledore?"

Ben groaned into his pillow and then flipped onto his back. "Nite Lilly."

"What? Don't you like the name?"

"Good night, Lilly," Ben shook his head and turned his back on his wife who was beginning to giggle uncontrollably

"I'm sure Finn would love a brother or sister called Dumbledore. Dumbledore Sergi Greta Ashton. That has a ring to it, don't you think?"

His wife's laughter was infectious and Ben was soon helpless not to join in.

"How about Weasley Snape Lucius Ashton?"

"Actually," Lilly paused and took a breath. "I like the name Lucius..."

"Goodnight, Lilly."

"What?"

"Say 'goodnight Benjamin.'"

"Goodnight Benjamin."

Lilly continued to giggle and Ben's heart soared at the sound.

It had been such a hard twelve months for her and he was so glad to have his vivacious wife back once more. The sound of his wife's laughter and is son's slurping were the most precious sounds he knew and, as he settled down to sleep, he thought himself to be the luckiest man on the planet!

THE END

**There you are – it's done!**

**Thank you so much if you followed, it means the world to me.**

**Now then – question. I have the next part of the saga finished and ready to post. Do you want me to wait a while, give you all a break or shall I just carryon? Warning – it is another long one!**


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